Is herpes (or other std) possible in my scenario?

[jim06831]

Over the past two months I have visited a massage parlor about five times.  All sessions have included hand jobs and some included mild anal stimulation with fingers only by the provider.  I also visited two escorts (first about 6 weeks ago and the second about three weeks ago).  Both of them gave me blowjobs with a condom, but then pulled off the condom for ejaculation in their open mouths (this was not inside their mouths,my penis hardly touched their lips in both cases but may have grazed them).  However, with the second blowjob, I was lying on my back for part of it and she spit all over the condom and on my pubic area above the shaft. Six days ago my wife, who I have had sex with several times in between and after these events, got several flat red sores inside her mouth (on her tongue, cheeks and roof of her mouth).  Today (day 6) I looked inside her mouth and it is basically cleared up except for two white puss filled (they look like large pimples) sores.  One is near the back of the roof of her mouth or palat, and the other is on her cheek.  Before the white puss filled sores formed, while they were only flat and red, my wife saw her primary care physician who told her she didn't really know what it was but that it was definately viral and was suspicious of coxsackie since our son had it two weeks prior to her visit.  No tests were done.  

Some other related information is my wife was diagnosed with herpes 1 and 2 from a culture taken from a sore on her vagina about six years ago.  I also got blood tested around the same time and was positive for hsv 1 only.  I'm not sure if I have it orally or genitally (I have never had anything that looks like what my wife just had and I have never had a noticable cold sore on my lips).  I have had very mild symptoms in my genitals from time to time that include mild itchyness and redness under my shaft.  I have two pin sized bumps under my shaft at the tip that have been there as long as I can remember.  Lastly, I just noticed two days ago that my 5 year old son has a couple little sores on the middle of his lip.  Never seen this before.........what is going on?  I did some very stupid things that I will never do again, but I thought I was being safe by using a condom.  I also thought that a sexual massage with hand jobs and finger stimulation would pose little to no threat.  Based on all this, would you say I passed oral herpes or some other STD to my wife somehow?  Last point, my wife has not given me oral sex in about three months but during our more recent sexual episodes we did unusually deep french kissing.  

Please let me know if you can shed any light on my situation.  I'm praying this is just coxsackie ( as my wife currently thinks) and will not threaten my marraige and family.

Thank you for your help, Jim                

[gracefromHHP]

you really have to deal with your guilt and quit assuming it means you had a real risk!! you are your own worse enemy imagining that everything is a std!!!

[jim06831]

she is in the healthcare field and had the nurse she works with write her a script for amox which she has been on for 3 days, but her throat still hurts terribly.  she's just assuming she has it without a strep test.  I on the othe hand fear the similar symptoms to an oral primary hsv outbreak because I can't find any info here or online describing sores in the cheeks, tonge and palate with strep (her tonsils were removed when she was young).  Any thoughts on the symptoms I described in my post and whether or not they resemble hsv?  Have you seen strep sores like these before?  

[gracefromHHP]

your wife needs to be seen for a strep culture now too. really common for family members to share it.

[jim06831]

Hi Grace,

I just wanted to give you an update on my wife and boys.  My son's sores on his mouth went away and he was diagnosed with strep by his pediatrician a couple days ago via rapid strep test.  He's on Amox now and feeling much better.  My wife on the other hand now has a low fever (100), a severe sore throat that she says feels like she's swallowing pins and needles, and generally feels terrible.  The sores in her mouth I previously described lasted 6-7 days and went away almost a week ago (they didn't really hurt her that bad while she had them) but her troubles are still continuing now two weeks later with this sore throat.    So now I'm wondering:

Is it more likely my wife got coxsackie or strep (one son had coxsackie 4-5 weeks ago and my other son now has strep)? Can strep cause blisters in the cheeks, tongue and roof of mouth that then become a few white puss filled ulcers and go away after 6 days?  Why is her sore throat so bad now that the blisters are gone?  I also can't stop thinking she got a new hsv infection in her mouth which I know you already addressed.  If I'm remembering her hsv test results incorrectly and she never had hsv-1 orally, do any of the symtoms I've described resemble a primary hsv infection of her mouth?  Having been with her for over 10 years, could I have all the sudden given hsv-1 to her without me ever having a cold sore?

Thank you for your insight and help.  Regardless of the outcome of all this, I will never stray again.  I deserve all the stress and worry this has caused me.  

[gracefromHHP]

the condom covered oral sex isn't a risk. taking it off and ejaculating into her mouth without her touching it with her mouth isn't a risk.

since the son with the mouth sores is almost healed, not really anything to do. 1/3 of kids that age have hsv1 orally and it's fairly common so hard to tell now if it was oral herpes or not. if he continues to get a sore on his lips several times a year, odds are he does also have hsv1 orally but lesion cultures are only thing to do at his age.

assume nothing about herpes testing unfortunately, even from a gyn :(    I'm guessing she probably had blood testing which showed hsv1 and hsv2 both. odds are her hsv1 is oral and her hsv2 is genital. even if she is one of the few that has both genitally, she's very unlikely to contract either orally later on.  herpangina isn't herpes simplex. it's usually caused by coxsackie virus. odds are she's had it previously and typically you don't get it again but if she didn't, she could've contracted it recently from the sick child with it. Typically adults get pretty ill with coxsackie.

really, no reason to be thinking std's as a cause.

[jim06831]

Thank you for your quick response Grace.  I need to clarify a couple things and have some follow up questions:

1.  I have two sons.  My 9 month old had the coxsackie a few weeks ago.  My five year old, who did not have coxsackie a few weeks ago but has had it many times in the past, is the one who has sores on his outer upper lip.  They actually seem to have mostly gone now and did not crust or weep.

2.  It was so long ago,so I don't remember everything about the tests my wife had.  I do remember she had a sore in her genitals swabbed that looked like a pimple and I do know the doctor said she had both HSV1 and HSV2.  She may have had type specific blood testing as well. He was her obgyn so I'm assuming he knew what he was talking about.  

3. Also, three things about the second condom covered blow job I recieved which i am most concerned about.  First, when I pulled the condom off to ejaculate I'm sure her saliva was on the condom and that I touched it before masterbating into her mouth.  I must have rubbed her saliva into my penis for sure.  Second, she had a lot of acne on her face and around her mouth so she very well could have had oral herpes or something else.  Lastly, I wiped my pubic area off right after we finished with a paper towel and I'm sure rubbed her saliva into my pubic area.  I did have five scattered individual pimples in my pubic area a few inches above the base of my penis that started a few days later.  They popped and have gone away and I dismissed them because of the crazy hot and humid weather......but maybe I shouldn't have?    

Last questions:

1. Having been with my wife for over ten years, and assuming she has hsv1 and hsv2 genitally which is possible, could i have just given her oral hsv1 from our recent deep french kissing after so long?
2. Is there any other std I could be carrying in my mouth without knowing that got passed to her from kissing and would cause a herpangina/herpes initial outbreak kind of look with sores in the mouth?  Again, I have had no symptoms orally and my wife has not given me oral sex in several months, but maybe I gave her something I've been carrying for years in my mouth.  I have also read some doctors opinions that insist kissing can pass on oral ghonnorea, chlamydia, etc. but have also read on this forum its not possible.  Very confused on this one.    

[gracefromHHP]

it would be unusual to have both hsv1 and hsv2 appear in the same culture from a lesion.  certainly worth looking into your wife's culture further to be sure it was actually typed to know if it was hsv1 or hsv2 specifically. very few folks have both hsv1 and hsv2 genitally and those who do, typically do not have recurrences of both at the same time.  Not sure if she didn't understand what was said to her about her lesion culture or just what.  

if your son had coxsackie a few weeks ago, hard to tell if he's also infected with hsv1 orally and it caused obvious cold sores from his recent illness or if this is still part of the viral infection he had running its full course.  we typically do not treat hsv1 orally in children and we also typically don't bother with lesion cultures to diagnose it in one his age either.  should he start to have trouble eating or drinking, he should see his provider again.

the encounters you've had are pretty much no risk in general for any std's. since you and your wife already have hsv1, oral sex and herpes isn't a real concern at all.  no reason to think that what has been going on in your wife's mouth recently is std related at all actually.  

grace