Hsv2 shocked and scared...need help

[holadot]

Newly positive.IGG 2.17 and negative for HSV1. Never had any symptoms and been married for 7 years and with the same man for 14 years faithfully(on my end) and two children. I only found out after I suspected infidelity and got the whole gamut of tests. Now this. He is getting tested and admitted to cheating. How likely is it that I could be positive and he still come back clean? I have always behaved responsibly and had very few partners and only one for the past 14 years. For him to come back negative....that would be a cruel twist of fate and devastating! 

If my husband does come back negative what is to become of our sexual relationship (assuming we can get past emotional damage)? How do we proceed and have some sense of.normalcy? And what if he is too positive?  More importantly,  what about my kids? The mere thought of having any degree of separation from them is more than I can bear. No kissing? No sharing a drink or meal?? We are extremely close knit.

When my doc told me she was so casual about it and told me there was nothing to worry about since I've never experienced symptoms. This was such an odd response since people are so scared of it and so of course I took to the Internet and feel so confused and scared. So I'm not sure whether to freak out...or not....but I am  most surely freaking out that I can't even think straight. Your help is greatly and deeply appreciated.

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

If you are infected and your husband is not, as confirmed by further testing, there is a possibility that you could infect him, yes, but unlikely since it hasn't happened yet.  You could take daily antiviral therapy to reduce the risk of infecting him.  

Sometimes people do recognize outbreaks when they never had before after being diagnosed with herpes by antibody test.  It is more a matter of recognizing outbreaks when previously they were identified as being something else rather than just starting to all of a sudden have outbreaks.  

HSV 2 is almost always at least genital.  Is one of you having oral lesions?

terri

[holadot]

Thank you for your response, Terri. I will definitely follow up on testing. Can you please help me on this?

I do have a few more questions in the meantime.

First you mentioned that if we are both positive then it's definitely genital and there is zero concern for my children. What if that is not the case?

If in the end my husband is neg and I unfortunately am confirmed positive...how will that change things sexually and what is the risk for him?

Also, what is the likelihood of developing outbreaks after years of none and what are you supposed to do if that happens? Does it mean anything different for your partner then?

Thank you again.

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

First of all, your test is positive in what we call the low positive range.  There is a reasonable chance that this is a false positive, although that is less likely since you are HSV 1 negative (which may or may not be correct because the test isn't great at picking up HSV 1).  If your husband tests negative, you most definitely need a confirmatory test, the one that is currently best is the herpes western blot, done only at the University of Washington.  

If your husband's test is negative, then I think the chances are even greater that this is a false positive, but no way to know for certain until you have had the confirmatory test.   If he is also positive, then you have nothing to worry about as a couple.  What's done is done, you can have sex any time is is comfortable.  It also does not necessarily mean that he acquired this through a recent sexual encounter outside of your marriage - either of you could have had this for many years without recognizing the infection.  

If you both have HSV 2 , this is a genital infection, not an oral one.  You will not transmit this to your children so take that one off your list of worries.  Period.  No discussion.  

I agree that your doctor's response didn't address your needs.  For her, it might not be a big deal medically, but it is a big deal for you emotionally.  

Let's get some test results back and see what is actually going on here before jumping to any conclusions.  If you need to order the western blot, you can have a test kit shipped to you from them or our clinic can help you get a western blot drawn where you live and get it shipped to UW.

Follow up with me when you have more data or have more questions.

Terri