My story thus far ....please advise

[Johnbird]

Hey all, sorry for the questions.
I just want to put up a timeline of what's happened and get some sort of idea on my odds and whether or not I should continue to be active with my partner

Nov 18 - brief protected inter course with private sex worker. Condom intercourse for 1-2 mins. The worker was operating from a private residence and was Asian.

Dec 18 - consultation with doctor
No symptoms but paranoia over incident and regret
Conducted blood test for hiv, siphilis, hep, and urine for ghonnorhea and chlamydia.

Dec 20 - fever and flu like symptoms that last 1-2 weeks.
Hot and cold sweats, mucous in nose, sore all over etc

Dec 28 - discover red sore lump about 3cm above penis in pubic hair region. Lump is red and sore maybe the size of a small pea. It remains under the skin and doesn't blister, whitehead or burst,

Dec 29 - visit new doctor as it's after hours. He had a quick look and assured me foliculitis. Was adamant it wasn't herpes. Prescribed kefelexin.

Dec 30 - visit original doctor to receive results from initial pathology. All ok. I had her check the suspect lump. She was more thorough and agreed it didn't look like herpes and said herpes was never deep like this one. It's almost like a big pimple underneath although there's no head.

Jan 3.  - visited new doctor for 2nd opinion on sore and arrange for igg blood test as well as full std screen

Jan 4 - notice 2 small round red blotches on penis shaft near pubic hair.

Jan 7 - had a new doctor look at red blotches and original foliculitis. He didn't think either were herpes and took a swab to be sure.

Jan 8 - called for swab results - both negative

Jan 9 - returned to doctor who took 2nd blood tests
All negative incuding herpes

Now.........

Considering I had a 1-2 min encounter with a SW
I used a condom
I am negative for herpes blood test at 7 weeks

Would you rest a bit easier and go back to sleeping with my partner

Please help me

[Johnbird]

I guess I'm trying to understand what sort of chance I have here? If I come clean it will ruin lives....if it's a miniscule risk considering my story I can take the guilt and work on being a better person. I can't change the past but I can certainly make the future great..

Is it worth me destroying my partners life and our relationship?

[Johnbird]

If there's still a very good chance I can pass something on maybe I have to come clean and destroy our relationship we have built over the years. This woman means the world to me and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I just know telling her of my mistake will end everything

[Johnbird]

The thing is, this is a one off mistake that I assure you.
If I tell her not only will it break her heart but will certainly end our relationship.

I know I can be the best partner ever and give this woman my all moving forward. I just wish I had one chance to make her happy

[catinbarefeet]

Unfortunately, swabs risk false negatives if not done less than 48 hours after first presenting. According to Dr. Anna Wald at the University of Washington, it can take up to 4 months to trigger an accurate positive on a blood test.

I'm afraid any guesses we make given the information you've given us would not be responsible behavior on our part. Condoms provide about 30% protection from contracting HSV. However, such statistics are not helpful, as all it takes is one time to be among those who contract the virus. There is no 100% guarantee of either outcome.

It's imperative to repeat, however, that you do not have any evidence that you have HSV. I recommend you order a Western Blot test at 4 months past exposure if you want a conclusive result.


If it were me, I would disclose to my partner, and avoid gambling with her health. However, this is your call. Good luck to you.

[Johnbird]

Thanks for the comment,
Just to add to all this my inguinal lymph nodes are enlarged and slightly uncomfortable since the first lump appeared. The one were assuming is a foliculitis.
I ran through a 5 day course of kefelexin which certainly helped with inflammation and is no longer sore. The lump is slowly shrinking under the surface

[Idontevenknow1]

You seem perfectly fine to me I would go back to having sex with my partner. Based on the symptoms you described, the fact that you practiced safe sex and it was brief, the negative test results, and your doctors' opinions I would say you are in the clear and can rest at ease.