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Avatar universal

Please HELP

Reconnected with a friend from high school 2 years ago and got re-aquainted as just friends. The friendship turned romantic about 4 months ago. He's military and very meticulous as well as particular. He recently requested we take all the STD tests as he's looking for a long term, permanent relationship, not a temporary fling. I was excited and I had no problem with this as my last STD tests were all negative and I've practiced safe sex with the on person before him. Well my tests all came back clean except for HSV1 -- I was mortified and devastated and VERY confused. When I hear the word herpes I just automatically think YUCK. I'm a clean person and for some reason herpes just seem like a DIRTY thing to have. My confusion is this -- I HAVE NEVER IN LIFE HAD A COLD SORE. That's first and foremost. Second thing -- we've been active already but with protection (being safe and smart) until we had the tests done; however, we've been performing orally. I haven't yet told him that I've tested and that the results are back. My nerves are so shot behind this. But I WILL TELL HIM SOON. However, I'm worried that during our oral performance on each other, I may have exposed him to this. But I'm so confused since I've never had a cold sore. I don't know if I have or haven't exposed him. I told the doctors that I have never in life had a cold sore but I do recall having a bump/lump on my cheek before that was very painful. I may have had this twice IF THAT MUCH within the last year. My dermatologist said the lump looked like cystic acne, she stuck a needle treatment in this and it quickly dissolved in 2 days. I'm just so confused and worried that I may have exposed him to this. HELP ME.
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Avatar universal
80% of the population has hsv1 at some point of their lives. if your partner has problems with people who have hsv1, it might be difficult for him to find someone who is hsv1-.
many people get it in childhood and never experience symptoms again, which sounds like your case. you most probably have it for a while.
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Avatar universal
Thanks. He's tested already. And EVERYTHING was negative. I too have tested but just haven't shared my results with him as of yet. As far as he knows I HAVE NOT TESTED YET. But looking back on when we became romantic, kissing and all I'm now confused because we connected a few times after him testing negative but before I tested positive. So now I'm worried that I may have given this to him but it was AFTER he tested NEGATIVE. Hope I'm making sense. We've practiced oral as well so I'm concerned that us kissing and then us pleasuring each other orally, I may have transmitted this from mouth to his genital and him as well kissing me and going to my genital may have transmitted this. My confusion is I've never had an outbreak on the mouth or the lip -- NEVER. I have however noticed like I said earlier a lesion on my face. How does an outbreak on the face transmit to the genital or can it? Does an outbreak on the face (clearly I get them on my nose and the face) mean that your saliva is at that time infectious/contagious AS WE DO A LOT OF KISSING. Gosh I hope my quetions are making sense. I need some input and insight.
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Avatar universal
It IS possible that you got HSV-1 from him to tell you the truth. You said you became romantic with him 4 months ago, so if you just tested now, that is a distinct possibility.

HSV-1 is not the biggest deal in the world, most people have it, and acquired it as children due to adults kissing them (not romantically LOL) ..

At any rate, unfortunately, HSV-1 is normally on the lips, cheeks, face, but it can also infect the lower regions as well. Another possibility is that you did have it, perhaps even in the lower regions, and the symptoms were so mild that you didn't even notice,or you may have just blown it off as something else.

Whatever the case is, wait and see how his results come back, and sit down and talk with each other. There's also a book that is free online you can read which can answer a lot of your questions about both strains of herpes that may be good for you to read.

Here's the link: http://westoverheights.com/handbook.html

Be well!
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Avatar universal
I'm sorry I didn't include this earlier;  yes he's tested.All  good on his end. negative for herepes for hsv1 and hsv2.
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Avatar universal
has he been tested yet? you may find that he is hsv1 positive too, since a lot of people are.
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