Aa
Transfer of herpes in a gay relationship
Hi I have been dating this guy for about a month and we had sex which he told me he had herpes after. After one million questions I find out he had herpes on his rectum. He says my chances are low because I did not go near that area (I was the catcher and he was the pitcher - His rectum was not involved) BUT that still worries me because the rectum is not far off from the penis... He was on 3 grams of valtrex a day (He upped his dose from 500mg to 3g when he met me because it lessens transmission - He was not broken out) I really really like this guy but I do not want to get infected myself... Im only 21 years old and am on the road to success.
He just told me his Infectious disease doctor switched him to some new thing like f-cyclovair or something.. It doesnt start with an A like acyclovair but its suppose to be better. What are my risks? What can I and cannot do? I dont want to leave him but also dont want to catch hsv-2 at such a young age
He just told me his Infectious disease doctor switched him to some new thing like f-cyclovair or something.. It doesnt start with an A like acyclovair but its suppose to be better. What are my risks? What can I and cannot do? I dont want to leave him but also dont want to catch hsv-2 at such a young age
No herpes2 ob for years, acyclovir usually clears up quickly. This time, after months of consistent meds, I still have a discoloration (like a pale bruise) in the sore spot and occasional (once or twice weekly) itchy/tingling. Nothing red or open since the first week of this ob, though. Should I consider this "active"? It is not in a normally suspect area. Would a casual finger-swipe here transmit to another part of my bf's body? This is my usual fear and so avoid all sex until all signs are well in the past.
If you have hsv2 and so does your bf, it's not an issue. You won't make each other's infections "worse" or anything like that.
the number of ob's you'll have ( or should I say the chances of having obvious ob's ) has as much to do with genetics as anything - not the particular strain of hsv2 your partner has. For instance say I gave you hsv2. when I'm not on suppressive therapy I personally get ob's all the time. I could infect you and you might never, ever have an obvious lesion to know that you are infected. You aren't necessarily going to get herpes ob's all the time just because I do.
Valtrex is an acyclovir prodrug. Greatly simplified it means that you swallow valtrex and the body turns it into acyclovir. because of the delivery method, you get more active acyclovir available into the body to kick some herpes butt than you do if you just swallow plain ole acyclovir. One is not a generic of the other - they are 2 different medications.
Ask your bf what medication he's taking and what dose and I can better help you. it sounds like it's famvir ( famciclovir ). it's newer but it's actually not better and you have to take it more often than you do valtrex. Check on the medication and drug so I can be sure his doctor prescribed it right.
As for your risks, we don't have stats for gay couples unfortunately but in heterosexual couples, hsv2+ female to male transmission stats were pretty low - 4% if all they did was avoid sex during obvious genital lesions. We don't know if male to male transmission rates are comparable or not. Suppressive therapy though really makes a difference and until you have better answers, consider using condoms for both oral and genital sex with your bf.
grace
the number of ob's you'll have ( or should I say the chances of having obvious ob's ) has as much to do with genetics as anything - not the particular strain of hsv2 your partner has. For instance say I gave you hsv2. when I'm not on suppressive therapy I personally get ob's all the time. I could infect you and you might never, ever have an obvious lesion to know that you are infected. You aren't necessarily going to get herpes ob's all the time just because I do.
Valtrex is an acyclovir prodrug. Greatly simplified it means that you swallow valtrex and the body turns it into acyclovir. because of the delivery method, you get more active acyclovir available into the body to kick some herpes butt than you do if you just swallow plain ole acyclovir. One is not a generic of the other - they are 2 different medications.
Ask your bf what medication he's taking and what dose and I can better help you. it sounds like it's famvir ( famciclovir ). it's newer but it's actually not better and you have to take it more often than you do valtrex. Check on the medication and drug so I can be sure his doctor prescribed it right.
As for your risks, we don't have stats for gay couples unfortunately but in heterosexual couples, hsv2+ female to male transmission stats were pretty low - 4% if all they did was avoid sex during obvious genital lesions. We don't know if male to male transmission rates are comparable or not. Suppressive therapy though really makes a difference and until you have better answers, consider using condoms for both oral and genital sex with your bf.
grace
Also one other question,
Since people estimate the rate of hsv-2 in gay men is very high, what if I tested positive for hsv-2 and I slept with my boyfriend more?
since he is positive and symptomatic and Im hypothetically positive but asymptomatic, would I have greater chances of breaking out and getting symptoms?
Since people estimate the rate of hsv-2 in gay men is very high, what if I tested positive for hsv-2 and I slept with my boyfriend more?
since he is positive and symptomatic and Im hypothetically positive but asymptomatic, would I have greater chances of breaking out and getting symptoms?
Hey Grace,
Thanks for the response. It was actually unprotected sex =( He had all his std papers from the doctor that said he was negative for everything but of course hsv-2 was not on there.
Im starting to feel confused because I thought that acyclovir was the generic name for valtrex? He said his CD doctor put him on something newer with an F that works better than valtrex. err this is kinda frustrating to me. I had unprotected sex with him about 9 days ago and i havent had any symptoms.
My entire goal is not to get hsv obviously but what are my risks? I think i just may abstain from all sexual contact.
What do you mean by he is still contagious over his whole anogenital area? Does that mean I can still easily get it if he does me? Does the anogenital area include the front of him near the penis? Im so confused by this all. Does genital herpes show up under the public hair on the front of a man or on his penis? Im just really confused with all the areas and all this... errr
I have read that 40% of gay men have hsv-2 and now im hearing 60%... holy ****. Ive never ever tested for it. Im getting that done in 2 weeks.
Thanks for the response. It was actually unprotected sex =( He had all his std papers from the doctor that said he was negative for everything but of course hsv-2 was not on there.
Im starting to feel confused because I thought that acyclovir was the generic name for valtrex? He said his CD doctor put him on something newer with an F that works better than valtrex. err this is kinda frustrating to me. I had unprotected sex with him about 9 days ago and i havent had any symptoms.
My entire goal is not to get hsv obviously but what are my risks? I think i just may abstain from all sexual contact.
What do you mean by he is still contagious over his whole anogenital area? Does that mean I can still easily get it if he does me? Does the anogenital area include the front of him near the penis? Im so confused by this all. Does genital herpes show up under the public hair on the front of a man or on his penis? Im just really confused with all the areas and all this... errr
I have read that 40% of gay men have hsv-2 and now im hearing 60%... holy ****. Ive never ever tested for it. Im getting that done in 2 weeks.
I'm not sure where your partner is getting his info from but some of it isn't very accurate :(
the dose for suppressive therapy is 500mg once a day if he typically had less than 9 ob's a year or 1 gram/day if he had more than that. No reason to up it to 3gm's /day and no studies showing that it protects you more.
when you have herpes ob's on your anal area, you are still contagious from the entire anogenital area - not just where you typically get ob's at. That said, his being on daily suppressive therapy greatly reduces his odds of actively shedding the virus significantly all around so you still weren't at a big risk. when he has an active anal lesion, you should be avoiding sex completely until it's healed. You didn't say if it was protected sex or not.
There's no such thing as f-cyclovair for herpes. There is acyclovir and there is famvir. of course there is also valtrex too.
As far as herpes risk goes - about 60% of gay males have hsv2. Even more than that have hsv1 either orally or genitally. always talk about it with all your partners and both of you go for full std screenings to know each other's status. Most folks who have herpes , have no idea they have it until tested.
keep asking questions as you have them :)
grace
the dose for suppressive therapy is 500mg once a day if he typically had less than 9 ob's a year or 1 gram/day if he had more than that. No reason to up it to 3gm's /day and no studies showing that it protects you more.
when you have herpes ob's on your anal area, you are still contagious from the entire anogenital area - not just where you typically get ob's at. That said, his being on daily suppressive therapy greatly reduces his odds of actively shedding the virus significantly all around so you still weren't at a big risk. when he has an active anal lesion, you should be avoiding sex completely until it's healed. You didn't say if it was protected sex or not.
There's no such thing as f-cyclovair for herpes. There is acyclovir and there is famvir. of course there is also valtrex too.
As far as herpes risk goes - about 60% of gay males have hsv2. Even more than that have hsv1 either orally or genitally. always talk about it with all your partners and both of you go for full std screenings to know each other's status. Most folks who have herpes , have no idea they have it until tested.
keep asking questions as you have them :)
grace
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Herpes Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
