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Valtrex dependency
Hi,
I am currently dating a guy who has hsv2. I've been tested and do not have it. I've written to this forum before when I was going through all the different emotions and not sure if I wanted to risk acquiring herpes. Well, I've continued with the relationship and since we've just been very careful--- use condoms throughout and limit skin exposure. I know the base of the penis can never be completely covered, so that is my main concern. He has never had an apparent outbreak so it is hard to know when he is shedding the virus. I've just been trusting condoms. He is willing to go on Valtrex, but his concern is that if he goes on it, his body will become dependent. For example, if he goes on it then decides to discontinue, will his body be more susceptible or prone to an outbreak because of taking it? He has always been symtpom free and would only take valtrex to reduce transmission to me, not because he has discomfort or outbreaks. Will taking Valtrex change his immunities against the virus when he is off the pill?
Thanks
I am currently dating a guy who has hsv2. I've been tested and do not have it. I've written to this forum before when I was going through all the different emotions and not sure if I wanted to risk acquiring herpes. Well, I've continued with the relationship and since we've just been very careful--- use condoms throughout and limit skin exposure. I know the base of the penis can never be completely covered, so that is my main concern. He has never had an apparent outbreak so it is hard to know when he is shedding the virus. I've just been trusting condoms. He is willing to go on Valtrex, but his concern is that if he goes on it, his body will become dependent. For example, if he goes on it then decides to discontinue, will his body be more susceptible or prone to an outbreak because of taking it? He has always been symtpom free and would only take valtrex to reduce transmission to me, not because he has discomfort or outbreaks. Will taking Valtrex change his immunities against the virus when he is off the pill?
Thanks
My impression is that herpes outbreaks are much more painful and more recurrent in females. In addition if you have it you will probably need to have a c-section to avoid passing it to your child. Overall its a lifelong disease with worse implications for women.
That said... if i was really in love with a guy and knew for sure i wanted to be with him long-term i would take the disease on.. and deal with.. -- but if i am not sure about the guy ... i would not get sexual.
Your boyfriend seems like a nice guy. He was honest with you and is concerned about your health and willing to take steps to protect you ... -- thats very responsible and thoughtful of him.
I was exposed to herpes (orally and genitally) by a guy who didnt tell me until after the 3d time i slept with him that he was infected. I slept with him last Dec 1st. I have spend the last month and a half in hell paranoid that i may have caught it ....
If you are not sure about him... there are ways to connect in a non-sexual way and see if you really love him and want to be with him..
No point getting paranoid after everytime you have sex -- that wont be good you you , him or the relation.
Point is ... if and when you decide to be sexual with him... you have to reconcile yourself to the risk (however small) that you will get it...
Sorry if i am negative... as i said your BF seems like a relaly nice person.... -- just try to talk things thru, build trust and do what you are comfortable with. We all have to take care of our own health.
That said... if i was really in love with a guy and knew for sure i wanted to be with him long-term i would take the disease on.. and deal with.. -- but if i am not sure about the guy ... i would not get sexual.
Your boyfriend seems like a nice guy. He was honest with you and is concerned about your health and willing to take steps to protect you ... -- thats very responsible and thoughtful of him.
I was exposed to herpes (orally and genitally) by a guy who didnt tell me until after the 3d time i slept with him that he was infected. I slept with him last Dec 1st. I have spend the last month and a half in hell paranoid that i may have caught it ....
If you are not sure about him... there are ways to connect in a non-sexual way and see if you really love him and want to be with him..
No point getting paranoid after everytime you have sex -- that wont be good you you , him or the relation.
Point is ... if and when you decide to be sexual with him... you have to reconcile yourself to the risk (however small) that you will get it...
Sorry if i am negative... as i said your BF seems like a relaly nice person.... -- just try to talk things thru, build trust and do what you are comfortable with. We all have to take care of our own health.
There is a herpes vaccine in the works that is expected be available this year. It can be used by anyone hwo has ot been exposed to hsv1 and hsv2. You could wait till the vaccine is out and got for it..
There is a herpes vaccine in the works that is expected be available this year. It can be used by anyone who has not been exposed to hsv1 and hsv2. You could wait till the vaccine is out and got for it..
There is a herpes vaccine in the works that is expected be available this year. It can be used by anyone who has not been exposed to hsv1 and hsv2. You could wait till the vaccine is out and got for it..
Sicwithworry-
So you haven't gotten tested yet to see if you contracted the virus? Yes, it certainly is a nerve-wracking thing to have to wait. But, as you probably have read from this thread and others, he may not have been shedding the virus at the time. Did you use protection? I had sex twice with my partner before his blood results came back that showed he was positive. I was worried sick for about six weeks, then I got tested and I was negative. I've had sex since and still have to wait to see. I'm more chilled out about it now after having done all the research and frankly, I just got to the point hwere I was emotionally drained. We were very careful these last couple of times, but I wish he was already on Valtrex, then I really wouldn't worry. Anyway, chances are you are fine and that boy should have told you! On the other hand, my guy never wold have tested for it if I hadn't made him.
Regarding this vaccine, I know there was a trial period for it, but I hear there is limited funding at this point, which has delayed the research process. If anything, I thought it would be another couple of years before it came out?
Best of luck and I need it to. I think I'll refrain for now until he 1. gets valtrex and 2. I get tested again. That is the best way to see if what we've been doing so far has been effective against transmission.
So you haven't gotten tested yet to see if you contracted the virus? Yes, it certainly is a nerve-wracking thing to have to wait. But, as you probably have read from this thread and others, he may not have been shedding the virus at the time. Did you use protection? I had sex twice with my partner before his blood results came back that showed he was positive. I was worried sick for about six weeks, then I got tested and I was negative. I've had sex since and still have to wait to see. I'm more chilled out about it now after having done all the research and frankly, I just got to the point hwere I was emotionally drained. We were very careful these last couple of times, but I wish he was already on Valtrex, then I really wouldn't worry. Anyway, chances are you are fine and that boy should have told you! On the other hand, my guy never wold have tested for it if I hadn't made him.
Regarding this vaccine, I know there was a trial period for it, but I hear there is limited funding at this point, which has delayed the research process. If anything, I thought it would be another couple of years before it came out?
Best of luck and I need it to. I think I'll refrain for now until he 1. gets valtrex and 2. I get tested again. That is the best way to see if what we've been doing so far has been effective against transmission.
I know several women who did not "have to have" C-sections because of their herpes. C-sections are not de rigueur because you have herpes. I'm not a medical professional but it's just not true that this is the case with women and pregnancy with herpes.
I also don't believe women get more painful or frequent outbreaks than men. Outbreak patterns are very individual and not gender-specific. Again, it would help to get some facts about herpes before making generalizations about it.
The OP still sounds like she is doing selective reading on here, though. (Sorry, but that's my interp of your comments in response up above.) You don't need to worry about "where" your boyfriend is shedding if he is using medication. That's the whole point of the medication. If you can't wrap your mind around the idea that the medication is highly effective on its own for prevention, and if the two of you use condoms religiously then you have an extremely low risk, then you probably shouldn't be dating the guy. Extract yourself and let him find a partner who accepts this about him. You aren't doing yourself or him any favors by defining your sexual relationship around wearing boxer shorts or not touching him in certain areas because of your fear.
If you continue to struggle with it, either get counseling around it, or leave him and find somebody negative. It's ultimately not fair to either one of you, and you should not be fearful when you get into bed with your partner. That's a surefire way to destroy intimacy, not build it.
I'll add in closing that, as a single woman living with herpes for quite a while, it is not the life-altering scary thing that many folks make it out to be. In fact, I would have to say that it's not changed very much about my social life, and it certainly doesn't affect me physically or medically. 90% of people with herpes don't even realize they have it, so it certainly isn't changing people's medical health for the worse. On the social aspects, I've only had a few rejections, and every man I've been with has been negative via blood test, and they still want to screw me, even the guys going in knowing it's casual sex. In short, it's not that big a deal to a lot of people, and it certainly isn't a big deal to me.
Just my 2 cents, though. Good luck to you. Again, if you can't work through your fear, get therapy for it, or leave.
I also don't believe women get more painful or frequent outbreaks than men. Outbreak patterns are very individual and not gender-specific. Again, it would help to get some facts about herpes before making generalizations about it.
The OP still sounds like she is doing selective reading on here, though. (Sorry, but that's my interp of your comments in response up above.) You don't need to worry about "where" your boyfriend is shedding if he is using medication. That's the whole point of the medication. If you can't wrap your mind around the idea that the medication is highly effective on its own for prevention, and if the two of you use condoms religiously then you have an extremely low risk, then you probably shouldn't be dating the guy. Extract yourself and let him find a partner who accepts this about him. You aren't doing yourself or him any favors by defining your sexual relationship around wearing boxer shorts or not touching him in certain areas because of your fear.
If you continue to struggle with it, either get counseling around it, or leave him and find somebody negative. It's ultimately not fair to either one of you, and you should not be fearful when you get into bed with your partner. That's a surefire way to destroy intimacy, not build it.
I'll add in closing that, as a single woman living with herpes for quite a while, it is not the life-altering scary thing that many folks make it out to be. In fact, I would have to say that it's not changed very much about my social life, and it certainly doesn't affect me physically or medically. 90% of people with herpes don't even realize they have it, so it certainly isn't changing people's medical health for the worse. On the social aspects, I've only had a few rejections, and every man I've been with has been negative via blood test, and they still want to screw me, even the guys going in knowing it's casual sex. In short, it's not that big a deal to a lot of people, and it certainly isn't a big deal to me.
Just my 2 cents, though. Good luck to you. Again, if you can't work through your fear, get therapy for it, or leave.
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Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
