What is going on ????

[boyblue]

OK I have posted questions in several forums for a few years now for an ongoing situation.. I realize that my questions although worded different are generally the same so I apologize.. I have been tested for herpes SEVERAL times via blood test all coming up negative except for HSV1 (have had cold sores since I was little) ... even 2 swab tests even though there were no lesions/ sores just severe irritation... my symptoms are identical to herpes symptoms (aside from any visual lesions/ sores) but I am constatnly being told that it is not herpes.. my question is: does herpes only affect you on the outside of your body or can it affect your prostate internally ?  Also I have everyday- for the past 4 years-  irritation on the opening of my urethra that comes and goes.. there are days when it is horrible and then there are days it is mild.. some days I get this sensation at the tip as if I scrapped it against the pavement... I have intense pain and a sharp shooting sensation- I can get these sensations even when the redness/ irritation is mild... the irritation sometimes gets worse after ejaculation.. the reason I ask about herpes is that I also get these tiny tiny red dots around the urethral opening, and what appears to be a "crater" look to them however if I pull the skin taught these marks dissapear and the skin is not broken- if that makes sense.. it never burns when I urinate but at times out of no where the tip will get this intense itch that drives me crazy...where I feel the stinging sensation just inside my urethra if I pull the opening to the side  there is a slit in the skin that looks as if someone took a knife and slit the skin... this has been there for about the past year.  All my symptoms started after receiving unprotected oral sex from a complete stranger at a book store STUPID MISTAKE I KNOW.   Does this at all sound like a herpes outbreak or am I OBSESSING that I have herpes even after several tests... cold this be HSV1 genitally... can you have a constant outbreak and NEVER have lesions/ sores ??? Please help.. I hav become penis obsessed and every little twinge, sensation, mark freaks me out and makes gives me more anxiety !!!  

[gracefromHHP]

it's a specific type of therapy that teaches you to change your responses to things.  It's often overly simplified on tv shows with someone wearing a rubber band on their wrist and every time they do the habit they are trying to break, they snap the rubber band and get pain.   Much better ways to do this professionally that do not involve any pain....lol  ( well unless you like that sort of thing of course ).

time to put the idea of herpes away as a cause of your symptoms.

grace

[boyblue]

biofeedback ?  same thing as Therapy ??  LOL   Yes I am considering that...  I guess my issue is that I have been tested for everything under the sun with no answers other than being told I have HSV1 via blood test.. I know that does not mean that is what is going on with my irritation/ inflamation but becuase that is the only thing that all tests showed that is what I am focussing on...  If I may ask one more question... lets say just for argument sake it was HSV1 genitally.. I would have some type of lesions/ sores after all this time correct ?    I think....

[gracefromHHP]

I think you know the answer to this already.  not herpes but an obsession that it has to be herpes.

It's been several years now, have you considered biofeedback as a way to deal with your anxiety about all of this?

grace