Oral Sex

[Meliss275]

Hi Grace

I just wanted to try get a better understanding of safe practices in the bedroom. I have genital herpes (diagnosed 3 months ago). I have met a man, and told him about this and he is fine. We just want to know how to go about Oral sex.

If I do somehow end up transmitting it to him, can I give him oral sex?

Will it come out on my mouth or anything like that? I worry that if I transmit it, he may get his first infection sight in his mouth if he goes down on me. Is this possible? As I dont know when or if Im ever shedding. I  have not had another outbreak since my first one.

We dont want to use dental dams etc. Is oral sex ok with him not having the virus? Sorry to ask so many questions, I just want to do the right thing.

Thanks, just worried.

[gracefromHHP]

Do you know for sure if it's hsv1 or hsv2 I guess was my real question :)

The number of ob's has little to do with how much you are shedding the virus.  one study showed that after the 1st year of infection you shed the same whether you have 0 ob's or 10 ob's a year.  The first year of infection you are shedding like gangbusters which is why suppressive therapy is so strongly recommended during the first year.

There is no certain # of ob's before you can start suppressive therapy for hsv2. Your provider needs to bone up on the current herpes literature.


The doses of valtrex you were on for the first ob were high. suppressive doses are much lower so you shouldn't have as much trouble on them. You can also give acyclovir a try too instead.

grace

[Meliss275]

I was tested by a swab test Grace. I understand suppression is the way to go, but my doc will only put me on it if I've had a certain amount of outbreaks. I went on valtrex for the 10 days I had the first outbreak and it gave me such bad migranes I couldnt get out of bed, so I want to avoid that if I can.

My boyf said he's fine with it and thinks it wont happen, but if it does, I'll feel horrible. Especially if I pass it on to his mouth. I would hate that he might resent me for it.

Is there a definate chance that he would get this on his mouth? I read the less outbreaks you have, the less you genuinely shed, is that right?

Thanks for your time grace, muchly appreciated.

[gracefromHHP]

how were you tested for herpes?

grace

[waringblender]

I would insist on using suppressive medication with a negative partner during the first year of infection. You are shedding more frequently in the first year whether you have frequent outbreaks or not, and the medication cuts down on the shedding.

[Meliss275]

Thanks for that Grace. I would like to go on suppression therapy, but I was told from my doc that it only gets given to those who have alot of outbreaks.(I am from Australia) I think the man I got it from was from 8 months ago as I found out he has it.

Which means if that true, I have only had the one outbreak in 8 months.

Does the more you outbreak mean the more you shed?

I have read the Westover book, its great, thanks for that, just a few extra tricky questions to go with it.

[gracefromHHP]

have you read the herpes handbook at www.westoverheights.com and watched the patient counseling video there yet? If not I recommend both for both of you.

You aren't likely to transmit your hsv2 to your partner but of course it can happen.  If this is a newly acquired infection for you then I highly recommend daily suppressive therapy. The virus is most active during the first year or so of being infected so anything you can do to make it less active is a help towards protecting your partner.  Also has your new partner been tested for herpes to know his status too?

Oral sex.  yes you can transmit hsv2 to the oral area but it doesn't happen as often as it does to the genital area.  Obviously avoid allowing your partner to perform oral on you anytime you have anything going on down yonder.  Suppressive therapy also reduces their risk too.  If you both agree not to use barrier protection for oral that's fine - it's all up you the two of you.  Should your partner end up contracting hsv2 from you you don't really have to worry about you getting it orally from performing oral on them.  It's not likely to happen. still even if you both have it, don't perform oral on active symptoms just to err on the side of caution.

Feel free to ask more questions if you have them :) just keep adding to this thread.

grace