Worried about HSV2 exposure

[Roguejim]

12 days ago I had unprotected vaginal sex with a female friend of mine and I also performed oral sex on her, I didn't notice anything unusual after the event and then 2 days ago we had unprotected signal sex again twice. Yesterday she called me to tell me that she was diagnosed with HSV2 (genital) 17 years ago, she assured me that I was not at risk because she had not had an outbreak when we had sex and that I can only catch it during that period. Since then I am understandably worried as I am married, however since last exposure (2 days) I don't notice any changes with my penis. She assures me that I was not at risk but I have read about shedding and also is there a chance I could contract it without showing any symptoms?
Should I get tested? I'm worried sick and am afraid to have sex with my wife.

[jt201555]

I'm female, but I had 1 partner and I've had unprotected sex with this partner only 7 times and contracted Hsv2. Breakout didn't happen until month 3. He never had a sign or symptom in his life. Best to be careful out there, you never know.

[Life360_Dave]

This is not about you but about any risk to your wife.

[Roguejim]

Would you say that I'm being overly anxious though given the case. She assures me she had no outbreaks and I've gone two weeks with no symptoms to genitals or mouth since in protected and 5 days since frottage.
I just wasn't to know if you think it was very low risk and not worth beating myself up given statistics

[Roguejim]

Ok thank you

[Life360_Dave]

No one is going to say absolutly you did not contract herpes, we can only say you had a risk and if she did not have any genital sores at the time your risk was low.

[Roguejim]

Can anyone else shed any light on the situation, it has now been 5 days since protected vaginal sex and naked frontage and I don't have any obvious symptoms on my penis like blisters or sores. Should I be worried of hsv2 or is it just fear. The last episode of unprotected sex and oral is 16 days ago and no signs of anything abnormal.

[Life360_Dave]

I noticed that youve been concerned about passing things to your wife since last march meeting online affairs. If this is something you need to do then i would suggest using condoms and not leting any part of your body make contact with these affairs.

[Roguejim]

Yes I know, I agree

[Life360_Dave]

It may ruin your marriage.

[Roguejim]

I know but I don't know how I can explain abstaining for that long without her getting suspicious??

[Life360_Dave]

I would simply obstain altogether. your wife deserves to be risk free. This is not about you but about her.

[Roguejim]

I will have to tell her then

[Life360_Dave]

Yes it is extremly low risk but its only a confirary test for your wifes protection

[Roguejim]

Yes I understand, do you think I should take antiviral drugs for herpes and use condoms just in case until I take test?

[Life360_Dave]

No but you can test at the 8 week mark as a good indicator for your own pc of mind. Best to use condoms to minimize risks.

[Roguejim]

I must admit I'm really worried now, everything else I have read on here has indicated I'd be extremely low risk..... 1 in 1000 chance are stats stated on here

[Life360_Dave]

Even with a condom there is a risk for your wife. Im not trying to be overly protective here but i would abstain till the test is confirmed. Thats all you need is to pass it to her.

[Roguejim]

Thanks, are there any other tests I can do sooner?

[Life360_Dave]

Many people dont show symptoms so its not definate without symptoms. Its best to test at the 3 months mark for your wifes protection as well as the below:
1. Gono and chmalydia---one week
2. syphilis----6 weeks
3. HIV------28 days duo test
4. HPV----there not test for men

[Roguejim]

She told me she was tested a month ago for other std's mentioned and she got all clear, I was tested 3 months ago also and was clear. My only worry from this exposure was HSV2

[Roguejim]

Sorry so until 3 months time should I use condoms with my wife, is that enough?

[Life360_Dave]

Hi, i will say that those most at riisk are in long term mono relationships where one partner is infected. You fall into a low risk group but as mentined shedding can occur up to 30%. I would say it would be close to zero risk if she was taking anti viral medication.

[Roguejim]

She said she isn't taking the medication. I do appreciate your advice. I know you can't say for sure but if I have no symptoms like itching, burning, blisters after 2 weeks would you say chances are I wasn't infected?

[Life360_Dave]

Hi, yes shedding does occur 15-30% of the time so you were at risk. Test at the 3 month mark to confirm.

[Roguejim]

I appreciate there would have been a risk but what degree. I know it is hard to quantify but there are contrasting views, some say it is very low. If I do not get the usual symptoms on my penis after 2 weeks can I assume all is well?