looking for real statistics

[mladams]

So here's the whole situation. This weekend I had sex with a friend i probably shouldn't have. I know he's very promiscuous and doesn't test regularly. But either way the mistake was made. He performed both oral and anal sex on me. The anal sex was protected. I thought I saw him remove the condom but but when asked he said he didn't.
So my questions are these:
He has never had any sort of symptom of herpes but i know not everyone who gets it does. There were no sores or anything present that night. Granted he kept the condom on the entire time as he said he did what are the actual odds of getting herpes from him?  If he did remove the condom how much does that increase my chances.
I am aware of the statistics of MSM and herpes previously stated here but i wanted to get information from an expert on these other questions as opposed to random sources on the internet.
Thanks for your help

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

Good for you!  You are headed in the right direction.

Terri

[mladams]

That's a good possibility. I have been under a great deal of stress lately which may be causing some of my physical symptoms. I do my beat not to jump to conclusions and wait things out.

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

That warmness doesn't bother me.  I would suspect that if you didn't have this worry about herpes, you probably wouldn't notice it.  What do you think?

Terri

[mladams]

I just wanted to add that this evening I had a warm, don't know if I'd call it burning or not, sensation in my thighs. Not really the inner thigh but in the middle of the thigh. Nothing visible on the skin and when touched the skin feels normal.  It doesn't sound like a symptom of herpes to me but I wanted to run it by you and see what you thought.  I tend to have an itchy feeling in the same location sometimes after I work out at the gym.

[mladams]

I have been tested before. Very recently actually and have tested negative for both 1 and 2. I just don't want a poor decision to affect the rest of my life. I know there's no guarentee of catching or.not catching something but knowing the risk is low would be helpful. I've been kicking myself for even putting myself in this situation. Its stressful to deal with the possibility of something that can change your life.

Just so i am well informed is there something i should look for to ensure i catch warning signs? I know the typical blisters are signs but is there anything subtle I should be aware of? So far its been three days and i have no fever, no swollen nodes, no fatigue, no headaches, and nothing visibly irritated anywhere. What kind of pain or itching would be associated with a primary infection? I know not everyone has symptoms but it would be good to know what to look foe in the event that i would.
Thank you for all your help

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

It sounds like you were very careful about this contact, good for you!  It isn't easy to always follow through with safer sex practices in the heat of the moment.  If he left the condom on, it reduces your risk by 30-50% of getting herpes if he did happen to be infected.  If he took it off, then the risk, with one sexual encounter, is still very low.  We don't have good statistics on male to male transmission, but I would say the risk at one encounter is well below 1%.  

Have you ever been tested for herpes yourself?  It might be good at some point to get a baseline antibody test to see if you might already be infected and not know it, then you'll know where to go a little better in the future with sexual encounter, and what you might be susceptible to or able to transmit to others.  

I hope this helps, and I'm sorry I don't have better exact numbers for you.  

Terri