partner with herpes, how to avoid getting it

[bondgirl2004]

I have a new sexual partner to be, and he told me he has herpes. He hasn't had 'active' herpes break out in 8 years. He has been with four women during that time, even had a child, and no woman contacted herpes. How do I avoid getting it, while still being intimate? I want to know it all! Oral sex, etc. Condoms seem the obvious answer- but for hold long? Thank you in advance for your advice time and advice!

[bondgirl2004]

thank you! i was last tested six months ago and tested negative. i will find out when he was last tested.

[petal130]

First you need to be tested to know your own herpes status before making decisions on how to manage things. As well, your BF should see if he can dig up his testing (was it blood or swab/culture, HSV1 or HSV2?).... No outbreaks for that long may mean he needs a recent test to confirm his diagnosis, unless he has definitive test results (a copy of the lab report). Have him post the numbers from that lab report here should he have it - he can request a copy from his doctor, too.

Assuming he does have genital HSV2, here are the stats for male to female transmission rates:

MALE TO FEMALE TRANSMISSION RATES (HSV 2 ONLY STATS IS NOT APPLICABLE FOR HSV 1) If you have 100 couples where the male has HSV2 but not the female (these figures are over a year) the odds of male to female transmission are if you both do nothing (other than avoid sex when there is an outbreak) 8-10 females out of a 100 will get herpes in a year, or 8-10%. If he is on suppressive therapy then it drops to 4-5 females out of a 100 in a year or 4-5%, and if he uses suppressive therapy and a condom the chances are 2-3 females out of a 100 will get herpes in one year, or 2-3%.

The Valtrex and transmission study stats are based on having sex 2 times/week.