You have what she has. Genital HPV on your genital skin and possibly in your throat. It is impossible for you not to have it.
Clearance means you are not infectious anymore. The virus never leaves the body. You cannot re-infect each other like passing a ping pong ball. Women can get procedures done to remove the pre-cancerous cells. Her chances of it not turning to cancer is excellent. She will eventually test negative for it (which just means that the virus is at so low level, the test cannot detect it). Having genital sex with her now may not be a great idea for her recovery. Latex condoms help recovery. She will need to be tested yearly.
Men cannot be tested for HPV although some labs out there claim they can. Even if you could get tested, what would you do for a strain that one day may become cancer (penile or anal). Just get yearly genital checks with a urologist or your PCP if you feel some pain down there. Since men have no idea that they may have pre-cancerous cells on their genitals, men are usually the carriers of HPV.
Persistent throat issues should be looked at. Always start with your primary care physician. If warranted, your PCP will refer you to an ENT doctor for a better look at your throat. If you saw or felt a wart in your mouth or throat, you would see an oral surgeon for a biopsy of it. There is no FDA approved oral HPV test liquid that you can swish in your mouth and get tested. If you did have it in your throat, it is very treatable. Oral HPV can lead to throat cancer so it is important for you to see a doctor asap.
Leading a more healthy life (more exercise, less stress, healthy foods, less booze, no tobacco, vitamins, more sleep, etc) will result in a faster recovery. Boosting your immune systems is always a great idea to fight a virus.
The bottom line:
1. Her recovery is the most important thing. Give her time to recover her health and get a negative test result. Do not ask silly questions like who gave it to who. That is a question no one can answer.
2. You two can have all of the unsafe sex you want with each other for the rest of your lives. Avoid giving her oral sex until after the procedure is done and she gets a negative test result. If you break up, then you could infect others. Monogamy is always best. Good luck!
Until your throat issue is diagnosed, you should not share anything with your daughter (drinks, straws, utensils, food, etc). Its not that easy to spread like this but the odds are not zero. I am not going to advise you about kissing. Please speak to your family doctor about it.
The chances of getting oral HPV from oral sex is unknown except the more often that you do it, the greater the odds. Hope your node is nothing. Get it diagnosed.
Hey, I'm in the same situation and plan to get thoroughly checked out by a dentist and ENT at least twice a year. Cancer screening at the dentist and a non fda approved hpv test called Orarisk, which a lot of people do not recommend but I don't care. I'm going to be examined and scoped by an ENT since most hpv oral cancers occur in the tonsils and base of the tongue/ throat.
Try not to freak out but take steps to get yourself looked at so things can be detected early...similar to what they will do for your girlfriend. You too can help each other clear the virus.
Hopefully, your daughter is good. Im thinking skin to skin contact is of most concern, but knowing what you know now you might want to be more conscious. Also, they do have a vaccine that protects from the most common forms of HPV that you might consider for your daughter.
Best wishes and take care!