just diagnosed... what should I do?

[kathryn80]

I was just told that I had my first abnormal pap... my reading of HPV/LSIL/CIN 1 confirmed that I know when and who gave this to me.  He is uncircumcised and gave me a bacterial infection which is why I went in.  I am so angry right now... with myself and my instinct that I should not have had sex with this man, but I did anyway.  I had just gotten out of a nasty divorce and was extremely lonely and stupid.  I haven't spoken to him in quite a while, but I just want to tell him and be angry with him.  I know it is no use though.  What is worse is I have now infected a guy friend of mine that I started seeing about 6 months ago and I don't know what to do about that either.  I don't think he will be there for me and I know he will be angry and never speak to me again... How and should I tell him?  I was just getting my life on track and now...?  

I was told it may go away on its own.  Is this real common?  I have my biopsy scheduled for next Wednesday.  Will it hurt?  What is the percent likelihood that it will lead to cervical cancer eventually?  Is there any possibility that any other cancers will be more likely because of this?  Anal, ovarian, uterus, abdominal and I am sure there are tons of others I am not thinking of?

Also, I've taken birth control since I was 16, so almost 12 years now.  I did have an IUD when I was married for about 3 years, so I guess that takes it down to 9 years.  I understand this can put me at even higher risk for cervical cancer with HPV, so should I get off of it?  I dislike it anyway....

I've been reading on supplements... folic acid, shark cartilage, minerals and vitamins C and E... do you have any suggestions?  I have been taking Juice Plus, a food based multi, magnesium/cal, and a couple of other things for quite a while, eat an almost 100% organic diet (I do eat meat, but am trying to cut back on red meat and other highly fatty meats), exercise 3-5 days/week and don't smoke.  I'm 150, 5'6", 27 and generally do not get sick.  Is there anything else I can do?  I'll eat an all raw diet if that will work!

I do drink alcohol... sometimes too much when I'm all stressed.  Should I quit all together?  Normally I probably have 6-12 drinks a week, but sometimes more.  Mostly wine.  I started having less since I found out.  

Thanks for the outlet.

[ibizan]

it is not the issue that the men don't know they have this...many don't of course.....but many when enlightened still turn a deaf ear! 2 it and say its a womens problem!i x-plained to my x what this was....he yelled some more he'd never heard of it.....but he was one not to care about his health...and the fact that he had recently relapsed with cocaine after 3 years clean and turned in2 the BIGGEST donkeys butt on the face of the earth had a bearing.it is cool that u were raised with no sex b4 marriage......i respect that... i b-lieve in monogomy/fidelity and total honesty another foreign concept for the majority it seems in 2 days culture.I do not b-lieve and will never b-lieve that HPV can be had from drinking glasses and hand towels as u have posted earlier.If ur comfortable b-lieving that then fine.many women benefit from this forum...it is so good..and i think how a woman handles her diagnosis of HPV is contingent upon the nature of the relationship she has with her partner,if she is able to trace the source of the infection.I was celibate for 10 years...i know where mine came from.but my x said/did unforgiveable things b4 my diagnosis that made his reaction really heap injury on insult....and i'm lucky i didn't end up with something worse than high risk HPV!so what r they doing with yours?watching it or will u hafta have a LEEP?

[empathy60]

That is an incredibly ignorant and immature response on his half, and he should be embarrassed he's acting in such a fashion at his age.  No past partners I contacted about this (who were all asymptomatic, btw) had that reaction, and they were all in their early 20's.  But, my generation probably has been educated moreso about STD's than many prior generations.  I never trusted anyone with my life or entirely with my health, so I didn't have this dilemma thankfully.  But, HPV was an excruciatingly difficult thing to deal with, mainly because I was ignorant on the subject.  I thought an HPV diagnosis paralleled an HSV2 diagnosis, and I thought I would have this forever, get cervical cancer and die (I didn't realize initially low risk never leads to cancer), and that I'd have a total obligation to disclose this to future partners for the rest of my life because I'd be forever infectious.  I was wrong about a lot, and numerous false sources on the internet didn't help at all.  Having a very understanding, knowledgeable doctor and finding credible sources like the expert forums here really helped answer a lot of questions, and put HPV diagnosis into perspective.  This isn't something that has to be life altering or have such a presence in all of your future relationships for the rest of your life.  Even if this infection proves to be persistent (I hope it won't!), knowing that it isn't a lifetime thing is incredibly reassuring and gives me a lot of hope for future relationships.

[ibizan]

oh yes it was!no doubt the cocaine colored his response plus the aforementioned.Ur generation is more educated about this and more willing.Research is showing a rise in high risk HPV among women ages 40's-50's who like me unfortunately b-lieved it to be a std of ppl with many partners!how wrong i was and how wrong that is!I never trusted anyone with my health...that is my sole responsibility!Older and wiser oh yes!by the way Happy Mothers Day dear to the 4leggeds u r a guardian of!:)

[kathryn80]

HPV seems harder to deal with than other STD's because I think we, as women, and some of us, as newly divorced or newly single, don't realize it is out there and what it means.  I knew about warts, but not HPV that isn't symptom visible.  I'm aware of all the other STDs, but I guess I was a bit blind to the reality and prevalence of HR-HPV.  Personally, it took me by complete surprise which is why I think I was so angry at the man.  He also said that he, like me, had not had many partners and later started talking to me about partners (which I did not ask to hear) and I figured out on my own that he had many partners and even, I think, some that were prostitutes.  I was already angry at myself for having sex with him, then all this came out and I was angry at him for lying (in my opinion) and putting me in danger.  That's when I got tested... I've seen the commercials, but hadn't paid attention mostly because I was married.  

What I struggle with now is how to approach new relationships.  First, get healthy, yes, but then what?  I really feel like waiting until marriage is the right thing because I feel like the love, respect and trust will run deeper, but nowadays men don't want to wait, right?  Are there still some out there that will be loving and understanding?  

With HPV, do you tell them right away or when you get serious?  If your body does rid itself of it, does that mean you are no longer contagious?  

[kathryn80]

Also, I've been on birth control pills for almost 10 years with a 2 year break on IUD... I understand this can enhance the potential for cervical cancer after 5 years of use... especially with HR-HPV... any thoughts?  I'm considering going without BC until I've met someone I do want to get serious with, but I get such long, painful periods it's hard to stomach.  

[ibizan]

the docs here state that High risk hpv can clear the body in 6-18 months.It then goes dormant...asleep in the body......u cannot catch the same strain or give it to someone else BUT u could catch one of another 38 some genital strains of HPV and get it again on ur cervix.fun stuff eh?yikes!I think its very important for women who want to be out there dating to ask the man what std's he has had and to get testing b4 engaging in sex.My health is more important than male companionship and sex!Some think i'm nuts and thats unrealistic......some think if u use condoms its cool.....condom use prevents HPV transmission about 60-90% according to the docs in this forum.There is still that chance!I choose abstinence...i think if i meet someone honest and understanding i will know...whats meant to be will be.I've never been the kind of woman who pines cuz theres no man in my life.This last one was quite the ordeal....one i have learned a great deal from and will not repeat.If u r in ur 30's your chances of meeting a good man are out there..i sure hope so for u..but that margin decreases as u get to be in ur 40's and 50's and that is a documented fact.it used to be that the pill reduced rates of cervical cancer...that info could now b reversed with new research.I think u should be true to ur values and morals.......and be prepared to fly solo for awhile for many men want it now/fast and will go on2 the next woman who will give it to them.I hope someday u meet someone will have the same values/morals u do......quite a feat in this challenging world we live in!