Thank you! That says a lot.
First of all, I am a male, but I will answer what I can for you. My perspective comes from 30 plus years of having many stones. What I can't answer or relate to, hopefully someone else will answer for you.
The answer to your first question from my experience is no, I have never experienced severe pain for long periods after passing a stone. I have experienced pain or discomfort for a day or so after passing a larger stone, but never for as long as you indicate you have. Are you sure there wasn't another syone that you thought you had passed but hadn't, or didn't know about, and that was causing severe pain for that long?
Regarding your second question about severe pain before passing a stone, I feel I must clarify that the severe pain from a kidney stone is usually when the stone is passing through the kidney and can depend on stone size and shape as to how much pain you may experience. Once any stone I have ever had is completely through the kidney and into the bladder, I rarely have had any pain passing the stone out in my urine from that point and only a minor irritation if I had anything. When you asked about "passing a stone", I assume you meant through your kidney and not out of your system after it's in your bladder.
Most all of the 40 plus stones I have had over the years were accompanied by severe pain that required an ER visit and a shot of Demoral to kill the pain. There have however been 2-3 stones over those years that did not cause me that severe type pain and only mild discomfort. They were small stones though and in fact, I had a small one like that just a couple of months ago.
I hope I have helped you to some degree with what I was able to answer for you. Have a GREAT day.