Bullying in Schools

[margypops]

Listening to the radio this morning I heard about a15 year old  commited suicide because of bullying ..in thisschool and I guess most they have 'zero tolerance' meaning they cannot fight back with bullying, we wre told years ago in England you stood up to a bully, how can you if its not allowed what does a child do just 'Take It' Mant of you have children who are going through this or will be , what will you do if your child is at risk from Bullies and they are not allowed to retaliate?

[specialmom]

See, I should never speak for anyone.  lol.  Parents DO need to be involved with their kids and supervise them.  There have been studies done looking at bullies and what kinds of families they come from.  Often the circumstances are not good and the bully has often been verbally and physically abused in their  home or at the very least, treated roughly.  Many parents don't want to take ownership of their child's actions when they have contributed to them.  Many other parents are in denial that their child would be cruel or hurtful.  Heck, I'd hate to see my kids do that.  But I know as a parent, it is my job to step in and take action if my child is bullying.  I have one with a developmental delay.  He'll know how to defend himself, but you still worry about the internal damage on their psyche.  I still believe character lessons early on help down the road.  (hopefully!!)

[jo929]

what i meant is that if the parent would supervise their children more closly and just see what they are up to things would be better you can go tell a parent that their child is making fun of others and they do not beleive you and some says tell your child to hold up for themselfs and some children canr because they are retarded many parents refuse to beleive their children would do anythin like this and they are in denial i have seen many parents this way and talked with them they got mad, and said no my kids would not act that way my daughter was a shy and a slow learner and would cry i taught my older one to fight back  jo

[specialmom]

Bullies are often one of two things---------  extremely insecure and envious of the other person in some way.  OR they are extremely arrogant and narcisstic.  And both bully to have control over another as well as lack empathy about others feelings.  

And picking on someone IS bullying if it is used to socially isolate someone.  Just the occasional making fun of is a little different (not good)---  but it is the repeated nature of it that makes it bullying.

[specialmom]

April, I think what Jo said and she can correct me if I am wrong-----  is that from a young age----  we as parents need to instill character into our children.  That making fun of others is unacceptable.  I've worked on this with my boys.  I believe wholeheartedly that they know if I ever caught them being rude, hurtful and mean to another on purpose---------  they'd be in trouble with me.  What they do when they older will be telling----------  but they've gotten the  message as little guys that it is wrong to make fun of someone. I think this was the essence of what Jo was saying.

The cyber world added another layer of what people can do to one another in my opinion.  

And I was a shy girl.  Two times I was bullied . . . the first time was in second grade and I knocked the boy's tooth out with my bookbag and he swallowed it. (I got a light padding from the principal of the school--------  but it was SOOO worth it.)   and the second time a girl kicked me under our table in home ed in middle school.  I kicked her back as hard as I could and stood up and said loudly, if you ever kick me again you'll be sorry.  She was shocked as she didn't expect the meek one to take her on.  But ya know what, never bullied again by either.  

As I studied the psychology of bullies in school (as in I was in school, grad school), they are traditionally very weak people.  Being picked on is a different matter than actual bullying and that has to do with what I mentioned earlier.  Kids being taught to have empathy for others.  It is a shame that kids are cruel.  

Boy, I hope my kids don't let me down and don't pick on another person!  

[margypops]

What is the phsychology of a bully I wonder, is it a control thing, they are usully kids with out muchselfesteem them selves, and problems at home, and they arent too bright havent you noticed the brightest ones are the ones that get bullied almost a jealousy thing going on , whats your theory... why do they bully .....

[penswriter]

I was bullied in school. from 6th grade until i graduated. i had a total of 5 friends. (they're still my closest and dearest friends) it was AWFUL. i came from a single parent home (my mom and dad divorced when i was 2 1/2) so we weren't rick, i didn't have "the" clothes or shoes, i was overweight (when i get depressed i eat....), i was good in school though. that was the only thing i could focus on was my school work. i'd go home in tears. no matter who you are, where you go...there are going to be bullies. i hope to god my children never have to experience what it's like to be bullied. and if they are i hope they will come to me instead of doing what so many kids are doing...taking their own lives. i don't know what i'd do without my little boogers.