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599170 tn?1300977493


"It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all"

deep statment...what do you think? I  am 1/2 and 1/2 right now, it makes sense in a way then in another way, to have not loved and not lost would equal avoiding alot of pain

btw who said that ?? Shakesphere?
14 Responses
915277 tn?1252576713
I think it was Ralph Waldo Emerson...  Wow, that is a tuffy!!  Cuz, if you never loved, you would not know what you were missing...but, if you loved and lost, you would know that pain and what you were missing!!  I guess I would still go for the "loved and lost!"  I would have the beautiful memories, and, if it happened once, I would have the hope that it would happen again!!!  Did that make sense??  It sounded good in my head!! LOL
219241 tn?1413541365
It was actually Tennyson. I know coz my  I used to have it on a bookmark!
219241 tn?1413541365
Please ignore the 'my'  Made a boo boo!
219241 tn?1413541365
Oh I am silly tonight! I forgot to put what I think it means....
The lines before it I think sum it up;

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

For me it means he feels sorry for himself in loneliness, that he can go back to the memories of the love he had once. That this gets him through that bad patch. To have never loved at all he would feel miserable of what might have been. So to have loved and lost is better to live with.  Bit like when someone dies, we are very sad, but we relive their memories and it can actually make us feel happy that we feel good in the memory of them.
145992 tn?1341348674
It is a lonely feeling never to have loved someone.  You don't know what you are missing but yet you do know you're missing something.  Now am I making sense?  However, the pain of loving someone and losing them is extremely difficult to overcome.  
483733 tn?1326802046
I think a life without passion is a life that is not being lived.  There are many passions we can have in our lives - our children, our pets, our work, our hobbies, etc. and I want to experience as many as possible.  I could not imagine not experiencing the passion of love, even if it results in loss.  Loss always hurts but after a time it is possible to look back without pain and appreciate the good things you had.  It teaches you and molds you into a better person.
915277 tn?1252576713
If you don't play the game, you can't lose...but, you can't win either!!  Put me in Coach...
681888 tn?1272925909
cherie it all depends on the person you are feeling for this love for ,......

there are lots of people i loved ,and still love ,...but there is also the people that i  could of did without there love !!if i had of know i would have got chit back of them !!! .......

915277 tn?1252576713
From every relationship, good or bad, there is a lesson to be learned.  Everyone that enters your life has a purpose and that purpose is to teach you something...My saying is..."People come into your life, for a reason, a season, or a lifetime...once you have learned what you are meant to learn, the person has served their purpose and, some of them, you no longer need, and they walk out of your life, but, if you're lucky, you come across a person who'll be one, who is in your life for always."  Here's a quote, that kind of explains it better than I could...

"God doesn't give you the people that you want, he gives you the people that you NEED.  To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you, to make you into the person you were meant to be."  Not sure, who the author is...but, it makes so much sense...doesn't it??
969466 tn?1247745139
yes, I feel it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I think it would be quite sad to have never loved. Sure u do not have to go through the pain of loss but then again, the joy of love is never felt either. is the ying and yang of life. balance. and fortitude. some find it safer to not love, saves the heart the misery of being hurt. But oooh the thrill of being in love out weighs this in the end. I have been told, the only cure for a broken heart is love. and I tend to believe this. But the most important love of all is loving yourself. Finding self love is by far the greatest love of all. oh...isn't that a Whitney Houston song? lol
681888 tn?1272925909
i know exactly what you are saying its true! every word you have said it true !,
it has thought me a few things that i never would have learned in my life,...
and you are right this person in my life has served there purpose,..
thanks for that joyce ..........
915277 tn?1252576713
You are so welcome!!!  :)  It has taken me almost 57 years to really understand why people come and go thru our life...sometimes it is so very painful when they leave, but, they have left a hard-earned truth behind...and I suppose, we should be thankful to them for that...it's kind of bittersweet....
363281 tn?1518219421
Hmmm, good question. For me, at times, I feel it would have been better not to have loved at all. I swear, every time I love someone or even think they are my friend, I get hurt, I mean every single dog gone time, it hurts, believe me.

I suppose I can learn from this, but, hey, I am tired of learning. I would just once, love to love someone and have them love me the same way, not just one-sided.

Joyce, your posts was very good and made a lot of sense, I agree with it.
915277 tn?1252576713
Thank you!  Even tho I know these things to be true, doesn't make it any easier being let down by people, believe me, it hurts so much, but, maybe if it didn't hurt, we wouldn't actually catch the lesson...bittersweet seems to say it best...I lost my best friend of 41 years and it was as painful as her death would've been ...I really could have lived without the lesson I learned with that situation...  :(
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