Married with separate rooms

[jenmom]

Is it really that odd to have separate bedrooms even though we're married? I was wondering after reading the posts about snuggling. We still "get together" and "visit" each other, but we have very different sleeping styles and get better sleep when we have our own rooms. My mother-in-law thinks it's just wrong for us to sleep seperately at our age even though she and my father-in-law also have seperate rooms. Anyway, just wondering how many others might also have their own rooms and what everyone thought.

[lucindamartinez]

My husband and I sleep in the same bed....sort of.  You see...neither of us sleeps well, each of us waking up many times per night.  It is not uncommon at all for him to sleep while I am up and vice versa.  And if he starts snoring before I am asleep....forget about it!  It's over for me....so I like it when I can get to sleep first.  My what I wouldn't give to get to sleep a night straight through!  

[pcarsey]

My husband and I sleep in separate rooms miles and miles apart :(

[bet643]

My husband talks, snores, fights and jumps around like a fish out of water when he sleeps.  My body is in enough pain and since I am hypo with hashimotos, I have a hard time sleeping myself. So it's important for me to try to catch a few hrs. of sleep here and there. I finally got fed up and moved into another room after my husband accidently hit me in my throat area after thyroid surgery. It was either move to another room, or get rid of my hubby. I've been married for 32 yrs. and I know of others who sleep in seperate rooms also. It's just a matter of getting some sleep. And I don't care what size the bed, my husband wakes the dog who sleeps downstairs. The dog starts to growl because he wants to get some sleep too. LOL

[TrudieC]

My husband is a big snorer and an arm flinger.  We solved the problem by getting a king sized bed and running a humidier (we don't add water when humidity is not required) which has a humming sound.  Since his snoring is not right in my ear due to the space on the bed and with the humming background sound we both get a good night sleep in the same bed.

[ParamedFlorena]

My hubby and I have shared room since 7-8 years back but there are ties I end up at the couch either way. Sometimes I just need to sleep better. I have this obsession about sounds so as soon as he snores I'll grab my pillow and wiggle up elsewhere. The worst is that he's gone though a nose-surgery just because of his snoring (did make it better but not permanently).. When he reads on the bedside I easily panic. I need darkness an I've slept with earplugs for 6 years straight! Most times I manage to relax though but to me, married life is where you can sleep wherever you want without too many questions. When I've slept on the couch, he only asks if he snored and that's it. Poor guy has to go through a lot because of me but hey, it is normal to make sounds when sleeping :-p

[BabyHardiman]

I personally think that if you are married you should share the same bed.  That is my opinion.

[have 2 kids]

I wish I had my own bedroom.......

[Lonelymom]

My in-laws sleep in seperate bedrooms and have since their youngest was two. They are not physical in anyway anymore.

[jollyman069]

hell we went one better seperte houses called divocre......lmao

[heartfluttersflyawayplz]

hum, to me i would not sleep in different bedrooms i would feel like we were room mates. i love my hubby so much i want to feel his cold feet on my legs. be able to reach out and touch him in middle of night if i wake up and had a night mare. no i could not sleep in different rooms, but each there own if it works for ya than theres nothing wrong with it , it just not me.

[jenmom]

Thanks for all the responses. I was just curious what peoples' views were. I have no intention of changing our sleeping arrangement. I guess I was just guageing how.... odd? we might be. :-)

[remar]

My parents have seperate rooms. My step dad snores like crazy and my Mom is a light sleeper. Plus she can watch what she wants on her own t.v. I sleep much better when my husband falls asleep on the couch. I'm pushing for seperate beds but he says no way! I agree with the other posts, don't worry about what anyone else thinks.

[lovemypillhead]

My mom and step dad sleep in seperate rooms and seperate beds......

They fight alot though.  

[zodiacqueen]

Jenmom-It shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks about the both of you sleeping in separate bedrooms, inclunding your MIL.  As you've seen here, other couples do it, too, and they still have a good, strong marriage.  Don't even worry about what people think!!  :D

As for me, when I get married, I will probably want separate rooms too!  I don't like all that snuggling mess, snoring, ice cold feet on me, etc.  Now, snuggling when the time is "right" is a whole different story.  :}

[scaredmom330]

it's not stange to me, I think if it works for you so be it. My husband and I don't have seperate bedrooms but alot of times he falls asleep on the couch, I aint gonna try to move him so there he is. I like the next person like to snuggle but after sleep with someone who snores like a freight train  for 33 years a night of peace and quiet is wonderful.  I know a couple that sleeps in the same room but in different beds, so my thought is do what makes you happy.  hey and your "visits" takes effort not just rolling over. lol good luck

[babypooh]

It's a bit strange to ME, but hey, like the others said, if it means you will get more sleep and it works for you, go ahead. No one can tell you what to do at your place :)

[Trialanderror]

That is my main condition for a marriage :) Just imagine 40 years with a snoring partner by your side... All these precious hours of sleep - lost and disrupted. At least after having a baby or when you work lots of overtime, any additional minute of sleep is so appreciated. Why diminish them if it can be avoided? Also, the mutual "visits" take a conscious effort and creativity. I prefer that to the mushiness of sleeping together. People always say, if you love your partner, you deal with the little disruptions. To me it is rather: if you love them and yourself, give each other space.

[swampcritter]

Nahh, nothing wrong with it...it sounds like it works well for you.

It is, of course, more common in older couples than younger ones.

[crabby70]

My girlfriends parents used to sleep apart...I thought that it was weird....Me and husband start out in bed snuggling...But now sometimes he goes to the sofa in our room... He has neck and shoulder problems...If you aren't having any problems I wouldn't worry...

[dominosarah]

I had an ex brother in law who would thrash about during the night and almost kill his poor wife.......after many black and blue eyes they got seperate bedrooms.  They have been married for over 35 yrs and still going strong.  If it works for you 2 then that is all that matters.