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Difficult and strange q/a: Mental Activity/ Physical Body Make-up

what is a good natural drug/brand to take to help block the production of testosterone? I am looking to get something from a health store and possibly if its natural. I also need to get rid of muscle I developed over the past 9 months...
Because I need to get rid of muscle tissue, I developed, the physicality of it has altered my brains chemical activity and I've lost a lot of extremely important sensitivities/ intuitive intelligence, and visual spacial/cognitive abilities due to it.. This is not some joke, I am not crazy nor making this up, before I was HIGHLY, I repeat HIGHLY aware of myself I still am I am am 100% that my chemical activity/functions have shifted for the worse as I have loss great amounts of sensitivities... It is very important to me to get it back. I am a fine artist and I do a lot of drawing and painting, but because of my mental "states" has shifted for the worse I noticed an absolute drop in abilities.... what I mean by this is I can no longer sense the "LIFE and Energy" when I draw from models. I no longer get as much joy from doing painting and drawing... It used to be my complete passion. Now I have nothing...
It completely feels like my head is been washed down, and I don't care about anything any more. I thoughts are extremely stiff and my brain feels heavy, I have never felt this in my life before I decided to weight train...
Please give some real help, I would really like to talk to a doctor but I am very poor and have no insurance.
If I knew I had loss this for the rest of my life, then I feel no need to go on. I have nothing left in me... I don't care about any thing any more..
The highly ironic thing is that I am not depressed nor sad about it....Thats just it I don't feel anything any more.. It has been like this for the pass few weeks.. and its not going away...
It didn't realize weight training could do this to me. I have stopped completely and cutting calories.

Please give some help on this strange problem... Don't give me use less advice like...it will pass...I not sure it will...Unless I do something about it..
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Avatar universal
Also if it helps I am 21 years old.
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Avatar universal
stop taking drugs, relax a bit, sleep a bit, book a holiday, or just go back to finding some enjoyment in your life,,,,always have something to look forward too....

drugs are bad    OK
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Avatar universal
I was never using drugs in the first place...
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Avatar universal
sorry miss read your comment.....
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