Are you sure its pimple? Possibly a boil? Have you tried washing w/an acne wash? Maybe see if there are any free clinics in ur area that could help? Sorry I couldnt be more helpful! Good luck Maybe someone else on here will have a little more advice!
I never even considered a boil!
The dictionary says a boil is: A painful, circumscribed pus-filled inflammation of the skin and subcutaneous tissue usually caused by a local staphylococcal infection. Also called furuncle.
So does that seem similar to what I posted? If so, any ideas on how to get rid of a boil? Also, any ideas on the best, most discrete way to go about locating a free clinic in my area? Thanks for your help, I appreciate it.
Maybe in the phone book there should be some clinics.. Here is something I also found- Pilonidal cyst: A special kind of abscess that occurs in the crease of the buttocks. Here's also some home remedies I found...
If you are overweight, try to reduce it.
Follow a balanced healthy diet with meat, plenty of fruit and vegetables.
If you are iron deficient, a course of iron tablets may help reduce infection.
1000mg of Vitamin C daily has also been advocated.
Of course Id def recommend having it looked at! Good Luck =)
Thanks for the advice. I'll go speak to my local pharmacist about a remedy and will look into local free clinics. Thank you.
Possibly an ingrown hair, but would that explain the seemingly solid, size-fluxuating mass beneath the skin? Leaving now to go see the pharmacist; will report back. Thanks.
The pharmacist gave me some kind of 'draw out salve' ointment that I need to apply twice daily (should be loads of fun at work). When I explained to her that I merely thought it was a boil and was looking for something to get rid of it, this is the ointment she showed me.
When I told her I've had this thing for about six months, she said I should probably have it looked at as it might need to be drained and lanced (that just sounds like so much fun, doesn't it?). So I'll try the ointment first and if that doesn't work, I'll locate a local clinic and subject to myself to the 'drain and lance' routine. Thanks for all your help, I appreciate it.
Where exactly is it? Is it right on the fleshy part, or more like in the base of the tailbone, near the butt crack?
I ask b/c it could be a pilonidal cyst. Could be a boil, too, but just wondering. Google pilonidal cyst to see if it looks anything like that.
Stop messing with it, too. Go to the doctor. Take good notes, and march straight back here with a report! Love it!
I will definitely let you know. Here's an email I just sent to my friend - since he can find the humor in situations like this, I figured maybe someone here can, too. Thanks again for all your help; I'll keep you posted.
So I just got back to the office from my apartment... Earlier today, I went to the pharmacy on my lunch break. Like I mentioned this morning, I went to some medical website and posted in their forum about the huge growth on my eastern-most gluteal hemisphere. Someone there suggested it might be a boil, so I went to ask the pharmacist if there was anything I could put on it to get rid of it.
The first time I went to CVS, the girl in the pharmacy - after I'd explained everything to her - finally told me that the pharmacist wouldn't be back for another 15 minutes. But before that, she managed to take me down the Preperation-H aisle and blankly suggest I rub hemmorhoid cream on my ass-pimple. This was immediately following her question, "Is it [the boil] on your foot?" to which I replied an emphatically discreet "No."
Holding the bright yellow box of Preperation-H in my hand, I felt I needed to clarify the situation and explain to her that "this thing" wasn't in or near my anus, rather it was on the cheek. That's when she decided to let me know that she wasn't actually the pharmacist and I could come back in 15 minutes.
A quick trip Walgreens where their pharmacist was also out to lunch burned enough time for me to go back to CVS.
Upon arrival back at CVS, I made a limping bee-line for the pharmacy (Murphy's Law says that if you have a huge boil-pimple on your ass that hurts when you so much as make a heavy sigh, the place where you're most likely to seek accurate medical advice will be at the furthest opposite point of entry to that facility).
Finally getting to the pharmacist, I explain to her that I have what I think is a boil and request her knowledge on any products I might be able to purchase that could eliminate this derriere nuisance. We proceed back to the Preperation-H aisle where I tell her, "In case you're wondering, it's not on my foot". She giggled which, for me, was relieving. I was dealing with someone who was intelligent and wasn't going to be a stick in the mud about the situation. After all, this was embarrassing enough as it is.
She points out some "boil pain soother" cream but says that's only for pain. Then she sees the "Draw Out Salve", which is some sort of cream that you're to put on a gauze bandage and apply to the area once or twice daily. Now a salve is something to ease the "situation", while the draw out, I assume, is supposed to draw out whatever's replicating Stone Mountain on my butt.
So I buy the salve and some big band-aids - I'm not buying gauze and surgical tape, just to have to cut it up and put it on then rip it off once or twice a day. A band-aid will do the job - and enough damage to any hairy parts of the crack of my ass - well enough. So I try not to limp back to my car, or the rest of the day in the office. Because my butt zit is in such a place that sitting isn't so bad, but standing up and walking around irritate the **** out of it.
So the close of business finally comes and I decide to go home and get an early jump on (hopefully) remedying this annoying little dermis herpe. I get home, run the water in the shower and strip down. With one foot up on the bed, I look like I'm trying out for a naked version of those new Captain Morgan's Rum commercials. I'm feeling around my butt cheek, ever-so-lightly running the tip of my index finger over the infectuous war zone that is the beginning of the crack of my ass. Things feel pretty hectic back there. There's no bleeding, no pussing, the face of the pimple is glazed over with a thin skin. I'm pretty sure this needs to be an "open wound" for the salve to do anything - at least that's what makes the most sense - so I know what I have to do. I eyeball the safety pin on the bureau. Hell no, I'm not trying that **** again. So I get in the shower.
My shower is steamy and I use this hot water as a sort of compress against the area in question, hoping the "swelling" will go down. My attention to the area agitates whatever's under the skin and I can feel the pimple face bubble up tautly, as if pressurized. With a heavy sigh (ouch!), I continue to wash and finally get out. My towel is, at the same time, my worst enemy but my only salvation.
I dry off and save the crack of my ass for last. I hold one end of the towel in my right hand, in front of my legs and grab the other end of the towel with my left hand, behind my legs. The towel is between my legs and can be used as a sort of 'floss' to dry my taint and surrounding creviced areas. I do so and finally, slowly, gently, delicately get to the ass-pimple. The slightest rub of the towel hurts enough to make me yelp like a burning cat. Still, I know what must be done. I bring the towel farther up between my legs and use it to apply more pressure to the butt-acne. And with the courage only a desperate man can muster, I yank the towel through my legs.
The course, wet fabric of the towel combined with the applied pressure is enough to rip open the skin of the pimple and a milky, pink, puss-flooded version of blood begins running from this unsightly hole in my cheek. A nice reddish stripe is left on the towel after I grand-prixed it through my taint.
I nakedly limp over to the pantry and grab a roll of paper towels. Ripping one off, I told up and apply it to the bleeding butt pimple. I remove it and find that it's soaked with a running, puss-filled, light-colored blood. I repeat this process until my nerves are so shot, I could smoke a cigarette without having to light it.
Finally, I open the salve and the band-aids and begin preperation. Not being able to see the area in question will make this challenging. The box of salve warns not to rub or massage the ointment in the area, but rather apply to a bandage and place the bandage over the area. So I de-cap the salve and squeeze some ointment onto the bandage. The ingredients on the back of the tube are mostly unpronouncable save one or two things - namely salt (ouch!) and some sort of "food" coloring, to make the salve white. But when I squeeze this stuff on the band-aid, it's black as night.
Let's hope this works. I squoze the salve onto the outer most edge of the gauze part of the band-aid, which I then tried my best to align with the bleeding, pussing ****-pimple that had me in this position in the first place. I think I got it on there, but I won't know for sure. Since my little butt-friend bled out most of my bodily fluid, I feel a little better as there's not such a huge, painful problem back there. I'm looking forward to some positive results from all this, but what I'm also looking forward to, is going home tonight and ripping that band-aid off my hairy ass - part of which is directly in the crack, so it will undoubtedly pull out a good number of hairs from an otherwise sensitive area. I hope you're having a good day.
Well, I'll grant you this. You are no longer "All alone". I eagerly await the next chapter in this truly thrilling saga. I applaud you and bow to your descriptive writing.
Anyone who can actually MAKE ME CARE about their ass boil is ok in my book!
A Plus! Please let us know what happens. I may not go to work tomorrow, waiting.
You are Great!!!!
I felt like I had entered into your life...and was sharing your boil!!
Keep the posts coming. You will find us to be one big happy (most of the time) family, and I can't wait to find out how the ointment worked.
Let me just offer this. I have a family member who has the same exact thing...and they prescribed her Valtrex (go figure????) and it gets rid of it. She has them recurring, so when she feels them coming on, she takes the Valtrex and it prevents them from becoming so bad.
Good luck, and I can't wait to find out about your ass!!
wow, you have me checking this thread at least 3-4 times a day to see if you have wrote anymore. You should really start your own blog, and keep writing in it, this thread is going to fill up fast. Let us know if you do get a blog and what the addy is so we can keep reading.
Well, I have a newfound respect for women who wear thongs and g-strings for the viewing pleasure of their significant others. This band-aid stuck in my crack feels like a disturbing session of gratuitous analingus.
My bowels are telling me to consider a trip to the little boys' room at some point in the near future - and I need to make room for lunch - but if I go to the bathroom, I'm going to have take this band-aid off. And that just doesn't seem like an altogether fun idea here at work. I'm thinking I'll just skip lunch today and have hair-ripping pain for dinner tonight when I get home.