Does the pain ever end?

[jdtab]

Hello all.  Today I started off feeling pretty good, better than before.  I actually was glad that I did not cry today.  Everything was fine until an old friend contacted me through facebook today.  The day before she sent a msg. to tell me congrats on the baby, but I handled that much better.  What got me all frazzled again was that I looked at her photos and saw that she recently had a baby.  I'm not mad at her or fault her, its not like she has any idea that we had been trying and we lost the first one.  Its just that seeing those photos put me in an emotional tailspin all over again.  The tears begin rolling again and despair came back.  It also hurts a lot to be surrounded by friends that have kids by "mistake" all around me.  I get to hear them complain about them all the time.  I just feel like a failure and loser right now, and I know I shouldn't but I do.  I just can't make sense out of this.  Now I feel like I am at square one again.  When will this pain ever end?

[bam1014]

How beautifully put Shelby.  While you will never forget, it will get easier.

[shelby99]

I know exactly how you feel - we had been give the news several years ago that unfortunately, we are infertile.  We discovered that I was pregnant between Christmas and New Year, and miscarried on Jan 23.  There is no end, but healing does come,  I am so sick of people that keep saying that it must have been meant to be, or there must have beem something wrong, because NO, this was our miracle, and there should have been nothing wrong.  It's so incredibly hard to see friends with their newborns, and while they try to understand, they can't possibly ever.  There is no failing, only surviving, and there is no "loser", only loss.  I'm not sure how long you ahd known of your pregnancy, but I know I was in love from the moment I saw the positive on the test.  My child was incredibly loved there and then, and still is now.  My heart goes out to you, and to everyone else that suffers through such a painful journey.  Love your child, and be certain they love you too xox