Try Again??

[krichar]

When did you feel right about trying again? It is not like i want to right away and we can't as we have unexplained infertility and this was our 2nd attempt at IVF, but I am not sure if I can again. I am so scared that I will miscarry again. I am not sure if I can go through that again. I was 12 weeks and saw a heartbeat and a little baby growing. I went through labor and delivered him here at home, it was devastating. Do these feelings of fear ever go away? I told my DH if I ever decide to do this again I won't tell ANYONE till like 5 months. I am not sure if I have the strength to go through this all over again

[krichar]

Thank you so much!!! I know miscarriage is so hard on everyone. Thank you for sharing your personal journeys, heartbreak and struggles. That is what this site is great for...knowing you are not alone. I really appreciate all the words of wisdom and encouragement. You are so right smr08...I can't let fear keep me from my dream but as  you stated cocacolapanda I really need the time to heal. I had to put our name back on the waitlist as it is so long to get back in for IVF...The good thing is once we get the call I can keep pushing it to the next cycle if I am not ready yet...I wish you both get your wishes and dreams...We all deserve it!!!

[smr08]

Hi, I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my son in Oct. of 08 at almost 5 months along so I know how your feeling. I never thought I would want to try again because of the fear of it happening a second time. I finally gave it some serious thought and realized that I couldn't let fear keep me from my dream, so by Dec. I was TTC. Each month I wait to see if AF is going to show that fear creeps up on me and I start to think "what if i'm pregnant, am I going to be able to do it."
It is a very personal choice and you need to be both physically and mentally ready and you will know when that time comes. I wish you luck in whatever you decide.    Lori

[cocacolapanda]

you will know when your ready to try again, it's not easy recovering from a miscarriage and each women will have a different situation making them wait, or start trying right away.  Personally, I waited one cycle (because I had a D&C), then we started to try.

I'd say you need to be emotionally ready for what ever may happen before you start to try again.  One thing I found that helped me a HUGE amount was I looked around for OB's and midwifes, since your doing IVF I'm not sure what your options are.  After talking to different dr's I just found one that I thought would be the best in helping me through another very hard pregnancy emotionally.  

I have had a healthy pregnancy, then a missed miscarriage.  I'm now pregnant again (about 7-8 weeks), and to be honest I'm scared to death every day, but I knew that if I wanted another child I had to be strong and work through this fear.  Last week, when I was about where I was when my baby stopped developing last time, it was a VERY hard day for me, but I've made it past that point and although I'm scared, I'm also more confident.  And not telling anyone, that's just fine, I haven't even told family yet, and plan to at about 9 weeks (since I lost my baby at 6 1/2 weeks, I feel OK telling them at 9 weeks).  As long as your not showing it's just fine not to tell anyone.

I just wanted to share my story, I know mine is much different from yours, but regardless of the story, everyone who's had a miscarriage gets very scared when they get pregnant again.  You are defiantly not alone!  For now, just try to heal emotionally, and when your ready to start trying again, you will know.  Some women try right away, other's wait a year or longer.  I even just recently read a story of a women who gave up trying, and got pregnant when she had finally come to terms with not having children.  

I'm SO sorry for your loss, and i wish you the best in what (or even when) you decide.