Stress can't cause a miscarriage unless it brings forth a different medical issue that could cause a miscarriage! I'm so sorry she said that to you, it's hard enough dealing with a miscarriage but to have someone gracefully say it could be your fault?? Wow.
The weekend I found out I was miscarrying, my husband brought up the fact that I got the H1N1 vaccine and basically said that's what caused it, (I know for sure it didn't because it was a full week after the baby stopped developing. I totally went off on him, and trust me, I looked into it myself. I know that I didn't do anything that caused me to miscarry, and I highly doubt you did either.
Basically just calmly explain that you can't do anything to cause a miscarriage, maybe if you were in a horrible car accident, or something tragic, but in general you can't make yourself miscarry.
Thanks- I wish I could have that moment back with her to be a little more calm about it as I do really hope you are right.
I know my mother was losing her mom to cancer right when she conceived me. She didn't even know she was pregnant for the first 4 months as she thought the tiredness and nausea were just stress and grieving. I figure if she made it through that stress and I came out ok...
I had the exact same situation related to the H1N1 vaccine (my husband asked me if that had caused anything). In my case it was a blighted ovum weeks before that, so I knew that didn't cause it. It is really scary to read that there may be some correlation with that, though.
A very blunt person told me this. If stress, or anything else - sushi, goat cheese, hair dye, any other thing we are told to avoid - could cause a miscarriage so easily, every woman with an unwanted pregnancy could just go out and do a few of those things at once and it would all be over without a procedure. It is very hard to harm a healthy baby. Women on drugs, or malnourished/impoverished have babies. Women whose husbands dies on 9/11 did not miscarry. Battered women have healthy babies. Truth is every time the cells divide is a chance for a chromosomal mistake. And your body "scans" the embryo for mistakes constantly. I think stress plays a role in TTC but not once you get prego. Sorry she said that to you. How is that supposed to help you??? Ugh.
Thanks for the words usuk, very well said!