After a Miscarriage...

[rebel9210]

I've just found out that I've miscarried my first baby nearly a week ago. When could we start trying again? How is it normal to feel afterwards? Is there anything i can do to prevent another miscarriage in the future? I had a my first miscarriage last sunday and since then I've been feeling nauseous and suffered from sickness, muscle pains, even more tiredness, feeling weak and obviously depressed. I can't explain it. And im studying at college at the moment but dont feel as if im ready to go back yet - how long would be suggested before actually going back? Any help/advice would be really appreciated  G xx

[Nolta]

I am so sorry for your loss. When I had my m/c it was hard for me to tell anyone. My DH and I took the day and just spent it with the two of us and not talking about anyone else. The next day we called our parents and told them. After doing that I just couldn't hold it together so I decided to write a mass e-mail to everyone else whom I've told and then just let the word spread that way. I didn't start feeling better until after my D&C because I went through my m/c for a month. I choose to take the meds and well it didn't completely do its job so my OB insisted me to have a D&C. We all greave in our own way for however long it may take. It’s been months since I m/c but I still think about it and wishing it never happened especially now it’s the holidays.

[jenkaye21]

It is really tough either way, if people know or if they don't know.  I just found out I had a missed m/c at 12 wks, and i've already told my boss, coworkers, extended family, etc. Now I have to tell everyone the bad news.  I wish no one had even known, it would be easier on me, in a way.  
So sorry for your loss, it is normal to have a WHOLE range of feelings after a m/c.  And you can start tryng again whenever you want.  My last baby was conceived immediately after a m/c, and everything went perfectly. Hugs and best wishes.

[rebel9210]

thank you. just now only two people know including myself, im really wanting to tell my mum because i know shes thinking something is up as im not myself. thank you so much for your help. its really appreciated. thanks

[adgal]

I too treated it much like StephRox did.  I told those I felt needed to know or whom I spent a lot of time with.  It did help explain my bouts of depression and crying that happened at times.  It's hard to advise you on something like this, because it is so very personal.  We all react differently to a loss like this.  For those you wish to tell, I would just be very open and blunt...something like "I may be acting a bit strangely right now...I just went through what for me was an awful loss and I am grieving and recovering".  Something like that.  And also to reiterate what StephRox said...there is not a thing you could have done to prevent this.  I also want to add that the majority of the time women do go on to have a healthy and normal pregnancy.  Your risk of miscarriage only increases after 3, which only 1% of women will have happen.  So there is every chance, in fact it is quite likely that your next pregnancy will be just fine.

[StephRox13]

My Dr told me basically we can try again right away but the usually recommend waiting one cycle so they/we have a definite CD1 to track pregnancy dates if we get pregnant again.

I just told people. If it came up or if I was talking bout bout my body getting back to normal I'd explain. Or I might refer back to when I was depressed or missed work or was acting psycho I had just found out I was pregnant then almost immediately lost her. But I only told people who should know. I missed a week of work told my closest pals & told them to spread the word if people asked where I was. Hang in there. It's a tough gig to go through & each of us go thru it differently, have different experiences. Some need to seclude before getting around others need to jump back in. find what's best for you & know there's nothing you could've done differently.

[rebel9210]

Thank you!! i was wondering if you could help me with one more thing. We need to tell other people about the m/c to make them understand why im acting strange but they didnt know i was pregnant to begin with as i was under 3 months. If you could help me that would be appreciated.

Thanks

[adgal]

I am so very sorry for your loss.  I will do my best to answer your questions for you.  As for how long to wait to try again..most of the time you can try again right away.  Your Dr. should have given you some advice, but providing there were no complications there is usually no problem in trying again right away.  Most Dr.'s will advise you to wait one cycle, or until after your next period.  If you are feeling physically sick, you do need to see a Dr.  Nausea can be a sign of a possible infection, and it's important to make sure you get follow up care.  How long until you go back to school...physically you can go back right away.  Emotionally..it's really up to you.  Some people feel it helps to jump right back into their lives, others need some time.  Only you can decide.  However, if the feeling of depression does not go away, and you are finding it difficult to participate in regular everyday activities, you should seek the help of a counsellor.  I went into a deep depression after one of my losses, and did need some help.  

I wish you peace and healing.  Take care.