first pregnancy miscarriage

[worried2451]

hi im new to this group. i recently (2 weeks ago) had a miscarriage. i am 38 years old and this was my first pregnancy. the fetus stopped growing at about 7 weeks. anyway a couple people have told me miscarriages are more common in first pregnancys regardless of advanced maternal age. has anyone else heard this? id love everyones feedback!

[flippert]

Firstly, I'm sorry for your loss, its so hard, however old, young, you are, however far along you are in the pregnancy. I've had one m/c aged 28 (yes I know I'm young but that doesn't help to heal the loss) A lot of things that I've read have said that people who have 1 m/c go on to have healthy pregnancies, even after 2 m/cs, its only on m/c 3 that they start to look into things and even then you may have a pg that goes full term after that! It is a mind field

Thinking of you. take care of yourself

[leon0409]

I'm sorry for your loss; I know how you must feel. I also had a miscarriage at 14th weeks, my first pregnancy, this was about 4 months ago, and it was so unexpected and shocking not to mention devastating. I still have not tried to get pregnant again but I have hope when I start back up again everything will be ok. I have to have faith that this will happen for my husband and I. We want to start a family soon. Anyhow, just wanted to tell you not to lose hope and to not give up, keep a positive attitude and most of all have faith that you will be ok. Best of luck to you and lots of baby dust.
Hopeful K

[sue68]

Christine,

I've got 3 years over you - to me you're like in the "youth" category !  Look , I got pregnant twice - twice !  2 !  When I didn't think I could - I got pg !  So, I know I can do it again - I'm on low dose aspirin now and I'm hoping that the third is a keeper.  I want a baby so bad that I'm not going to give up til the fat lady sings.  And right now, I've jammed a huge rubber stopper  tight in her mouth and don't intend to yank it out just yet.   I know there are "grim statistics " out there but, there are lots of happy endings as well.  Focus on those.  I was crushed when my OB told me about the second m/c.  But , when I asked him for hope he told me that his oldest patient is 53 and so I have a "good dozen years to pump out 6 or so".  His words. And he's not the type to give me false hope.   So, you're still young and you've got time. I think the medical field should update their standards because there are so many women ttc'ing after 35 years of age now. What good is it classifying us as "older moms"  - like we're all doing something super risky ? It just make us nervous and then we'll end up our eggs with all the stress !  

My thoughts are with you - I know how you feel - we all do. Feel free to reach out whenever you need to talk.  It helps alot - the girls on this forum helped me through mine and we'll be there for you too.  

[worried2451]

thanks sue68,
im having a very difficult time coping with this miscarriage, i have an awful feeling the miscarriage ended my chance at parenthood. there are sooo many grim stats out there, im glad i found this forum. never thought miscarriage would be sooooo painful. again thanks for your kind words
Christine

[sue68]

Hi there,

I'm sorry for your loss and that we had to meet on this forum. I'm 41 and after learning that I was going to miscarry - my OB and the nurse both told me that 25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage  ( not matter what age ) and that number may even be higher because many women are pregnant and are not even aware that they have m/c'd - that they could have mistaken it for a heavy period.

Oh and here in my "Healthy Pregnancy over 35" book it says in the miscarriage section  ( pages 32 - 33):


"Many women worry about the risk of miscarriage, and it is common - about 10 - 20% of recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage. However, although the risk is greater the older you are, most women over 35 will have completely normal pregnancies. Most miscarriages happen in the first 6 - 8 weeks of pregnancy...............The most important fact to realize about miscarriage is that most pregnancies that end in miscarriage were not normal. Early miscarriage is generally a sign that a genetic or developmental problem happened very early. It is not your fault..........."
Genetic abnormalities : These are the most common cause of miscarriage and are usually present from the moment of conception. Since genetic glitches are more common as women get older, miscarriage due to this problem is directly related to your age. However, the risk of miscarriage in women over 35 is still only slightly higher than in younger women. "   (

I don't have a highlighter so let me emphasize the word SLIGHTLY .  I hope you heal from your m/c and that your heart heals soon too.  This forum is great whenever you need a shoulder to lean on - or just an ear for venting.    Take care , my thoughts are with you.