i had m/c and d&c.. what to do after?

Question

I just had m/c on dec.19,2010 just couple days ago. And it was the most traumatic.. devastating feeling ever. I was already on my 14wk and 4days of pregnancy.. doctor told me I probably have incompetent cervix.. my cervix opened up and pretty much flushed out my baby out of my body. He told me that I might need to have a procedure called cervix cerclage on my next pregnancy to make sure it won't happen again..	


Anyways question is if anybody had experienced m/c and dnc before how did you cope up..? And how long did it took you to get pregnant again?


I am really anxious I know it just happened.. but really all I want is to have my baby back.. I feel like my baby was just not ready yet.. but maybe he will be ready the second time around. =)

chrissymom · Accepted Answer

Hey there, I am very sorry to heasr about the loss of your little boy. I miscarried a few months ago and had to have a D&C because my body didn't pass everything naturally. It was also devaststing. My advice to you is, the D&C is a short operation where they will put you to sleep in most cases and they scrape and hoover out anything remaining in your uterus, there are a few risks as with any procedure like this but they are very uncommon, your doctor will explain all about them. As for wanting your baby back, I am afraid that is impossible, you may fall pregnant again very quickly after your D&C but you can never have the same baby back and to expect being pregnant again to take away the pain of the baby you lost is unrealistic. I feel your pain and I stilll cry for my baby and I want it back inside me all the time, But I accept that I can't have that baby back. Your next pregnancy will be entierly different most likely and the baby will be unique to itself. I wish you all the best of luck in concieving again, I suggest giving yourself at least one cycle before you start trying again. I hope all goes well for you next time round. :)

chrissymom · Answer

Hi again,  I hope you are starting to feel a little relief since I spoke to you last, I doubt it but I can still hope. I wanted to say something, I don't mean to sound awful, but I went through the same emotion as you are now when I lost my little boy, he was born premature at 25 weeks and only lived for an hour after birth, Anyways, All I wanted was to try again, and The only thing that would stop the pain. About half way through my next pregnancy, I realised that in fact it did not take the pain away and I still had the empty feeling I had after i lost my wee boy. All I want to say really is, don't expect the pain to lesten or the empty feeling of loss you feel to go away when you concieve again because it wont. Although you will still feel happy as well from being pregnant, it will be a rollercoaster ride of emotion for you most likely, sadness for the baby you lost, happiness for the baby you are carrying and guilt about feeling happy when you are still grieving for your lost angel, just to give you a heads up, god favours the prepared and If you know hwat's likely to come you can face it head on. I hope you get your other baby soon and I wish you luck hunny, god bless you and all the best for the new year. xxxx

karenlovesbabyKC · Answer

thank you for sharing.. we think the same.. i think only another pregnancy will help me heal the pain.. i just hope we conceive in the next month or 2.. this was my first pregnancy and all i want is to have a baby. i know im young im only 26 and hubby is 28 but we waited long enough to have a baby.. i hope god bless me with another baby and i hope i dont lose my baby next time. i can not go over this emotions anymore. 

thanks again and happy holiday!

jenkaye21 · Answer

Oh and I just wanted to add that, knowing the probable cause of your m/c, it is very likely that you will have a successful pregnancy next time.  Incompetent cervix is totally treatable, so that is the good news.

jenkaye21 · Answer

I lost my baby at 12 wks and had a d&c on Dec. 16.  The emotional part is the hardest.  For me, the only thing that will help is to get pregnant again.  I am already blessed w 4 healthy beautiful kids, but I desperately want one more.  I think of the babies I've lost asa my angels, waiting for me in heaven.  
And by the way, my last son was conceived immediately after an early m/c (no d&c needed that time), and everything went perfectly fine.  I'm not sure how long I will wait to ttc again.  I am anxious already. :/  
Hugs and prayers to you.

karenlovesbabyKC · Answer

Thank you both for sharing your experiences to me.. I really appreciate what you both said. I hope it would not take too long for us to conceive again.. but ofcourse we would take extra precautions next time. We just really want to have a baby.. me and my husband have been together almost all our life.. he is my childhood sweetheart back in 5th gr. And married to him 5yrs now.. and this was our first baby.. so it was really hard to accept that we lost our first baby..

Thank u for your prayers.. I just really hope that god give us another chance to have our baby..=)

Jhanee · Answer

I am sorry for your loss.  It took me a while to get over it all. I miscarried and in March. I am now 16 weeks and praying everyday. I miss the last baby, but I am greatful for this one. My advice is to take each moment as it comes. Acknowledge your feelings and allow yourself the right to grieve.There is no set time length for be able to handle the pain. Each of us is different. Take your time it will get better. Praying for you.

Also relax and let your body decide when it wants to try again. You will know.

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