so scared

[keirajane]

hey everyone i just had miscarriag last wed and stopped bleeding after 5 days so it was short i was 6 weeks, only thing is the doctor said that the chances of it happening again are really low but i'm scared so scared to get preg again in case it does happen, i dont think i could handle it again and i want a baby so bad but i',m worried it will happen again, it would destroyed me if it happened, the doctor said it was'nt my fault but how can you not blame your self when they dont even know why you lost your baby,
he said that i did'nt have to wait before i tryed again because i had a natural m/s but if i see those to lines on the test this month i'm gonna be sooo excited and scared at the same time just dont know how i'm gonna get there.

[kc1021]

Just to give you a little reassurance... I had a mc/ at 5 weeks in Oct and got pregnant again right away.  It was a surprise that it happened so quickly so I of course was terrified and didn't want to believe it, just to protect myself in case I miscarried again.   I am now 11 weeks along and have had no bleeding or cramping, so I assume all is going well.  Once I passed the 5 week mark I felt a little better and I will probably feel even more assured once I pass 12 weeks, but everyday is still trying when I think about "what could go wrong."  

Just know that your chances for a healthy pregnancy in the future are great and not effected by your previous miscarriage.  

[ArmyPrincess819]

I'm sorry for everything you are feeling. I have been there myself. I never lost hope or gave up. There are reasons why we have a m/c usually it's because the baby is sick. Other times it's because our uterus is incompetent or we have a infection ertc. Your dr is right it's not your fault. It stinks we don't have a crystal ball to tell us what will happen in the future. That is why my dr told me to wait 3 cycles to make sure I was emotionally ready for what could potentially happen and to heal from what had just happened to not only me but my husband. In your heart you know when you are ready to start ttc. You just have to take a gamble and hope all goes well. It's easier said than done. I have had 6 m/cs I know the pain. We never forget the loss we feel and the devastation we are left with. Sunny is right it's all about staying positive. You will know when you are ready to face anything that may happen. Best wishes to you. If you need to talk I'm here. This is a whonderful community full of support and listening ears and many of us have been in your shoes or currently are! Take care of yourself.....
Hugs,
AP

[Sunny222]

This is really really hard, isn't it? I wish someone would prepare us for what could happen. From families, friends, and movies, we think that when we get a BFP, the clouds open up and little angels slide down rainbows spreading daises and sunshine everywhere. Sheesh, well, you know what I mean. I told almost everyone I knew as soon as we got our first positive line on the pee stick. Then, 4 weeks later, had to go tell everyone we lost it. That was AWFUL. I felt like a failure for a long time, despite what doctors told me. And now, my best friend is pregnant, about 5 weeks along, and because she knew what happened to me, she is afraid to get excited herself. I feel terrible about that, and just remind her to think positive and be happy. It's been 2 months since my natural m/c at 5 weeks. I am really trying to get in a "happy place" and start trying again, but I'm just not there yet. I have anxiety problems as it is, so this is like exponentially hard. The post above is right, this forum is the best outlet for me, and a great source of information. Though I know we should only listen to our doctors for medical info, this site is great to listen to other women's stories. Reminds you that you're not alone and that everyone truly is different.
And is it just me, or are doctors of insensitive about miscarriages? My doctor was almost dismissive about it. That did not sit well with me.
Anyway, I'm scared too and trying to climb out of it. We can do this! :)

[YogaChick]

Hi, I am so sorry you're going through this.  You'll find a lot of support on this forum from women who have similar worries... myself included.  Unfortunately m/c are super common -- a big problem is that people don't talk about it with each other so nobody knows how common they are until it happens to them.  The good news is that there is a ton of research to support what your Dr said-- you're not more likely to m/c a second time just because it happened once.  

My Dr did tell us to wait one cycle after my m/c but I think a lot of that has to do with being able to accurately date the pregnancy.  My TCM/acupuncturist advised waiting 2-3 months b/c the eggs take that long to mature before they ovulate and she wanted them to develop from the beginning after the pregnancy hormones had cleared my system so the egg quality would be better-- she had some good points, but we didn't listen (and didn't get a BFP either so maybe she was right).  

Hang in there, I think everyone who has been through a m/c holds their breath once they get the BFP because we know first hand that something can go wrong... but most of the time it won't.