Help with my boyfriend

[honeysuckle0310]

I was wondering if you could help theorize about my boyfriend of 5 years.  Part of this is medical and part may be psychiatric, and I noticed that on the profile of the Doctor who answers here appears to also have a Neurology degree, so maybe you can help.
  He has a benign bone tumor in his skull that is 3.5 centimeters wide and is located above his left eye that is mildly pressing on the prefrontal cortex of the brain that is just above the eye.    He's had a constant pressure headache for 5 years and doctors finally relented and attributed this to the bone tumor (fibrous dysplasia).  

But this is where it gets crazy.  About 2-3 years ago he started having problems that no one could explain.  He believes he has something called depersonalization disorder.  He complains that he always feels like he's in an uncomfortable daze to varying degrees,  like he's separated from his surroundings or breathing in nitrous gas all the time or that he's always on the verge of fainting.    I used to assume this was just an expression but he says that No he literally feels like he has some bad drug in his system.

He's to the point to where he won't leave the house, won't go outside during the day because he complains the sunlight triggers worse symptoms.  He never really appears outwardly anxious but he will hold his head and say stuff like "oh my God, you just don't understand, I feel sooooo out of it right now,  I can't even stand to walk outside...i can't stand to exist like this!".     But there is nothing contributing to it externally.. he just always feels this way and increases and decreases at random through out each day/week.    He's becoming more and more irritable every week that goes by.   He always gets mad at someone about something, and he used to not be like this at all.   Some days he even asks me to not come over because he's feeling especially depersonalized and irritable and that he "just needs to deal with this psychosis BS alone".

YOUR THOUGHTS?

[Peter Forster]

Sorry for the long delayed reply. For some reason  I stopped getting notices when posts were made for a week - while I was on a business trip and therefore distracted.

I agree with Jaquta that this is a question best posted on the neurology forum.

I suspect that at least some component of this involves his reaction to his illness. One thing that we may do unconsciously is try to reject a present that we find unacceptable - by distancing ourselves from that reality. A bit like when as kids we would hold our breath or otherwise try to protest an unfair world.

One random thought I have is you might take a look at the book "When bad things happen to good people" for some thoughts on how to think about this kind of situation.... and maybe how to move forward.

[Jaquta]

From a lay perspective it sounds plausible that the symptoms and personality changes could be due to the tumor.  It may also be psych related.  I would feel anxious about having a tumor in my head.

You may also like to try posting your question on the neurology expert forum.

It sounds like he needs a lot of support and understanding.  And also input from health professionals.  Hopefully the cause (physical or mental) can be identified and treated.