is it more than bipolar & depression?

[Lisa5322]

Hi, I'm 24 I've been diagnosed with bipolar, depression, severe anxiety and OCD. I'm taking 100mg of Zoloft (for about 8 years now) It was recently 200mg, but my Dr was going to change it, but while weaning off them I got so depressed and started having suicidal thoughts and started cutting again. I think I should go back up 200mg because I 'm still not coping well. I also take 5mg of Zyprexa daily.
I feel there is something else wrong though. I suffer from fits of anger- I mean I just lose it over nothing. (I was never an angry person, even at the start of my illness) It's a psycho rage attack, screaming, verbally abusing people, it's never physical(I've never used physical violence on anyone except myself)
I'm worthless. I don't want to be around anyone. I feel that they judge me on my appearance and that they know that I have to wear a wig because of my trichotillomania. I'm terrified to be in public places and often suffer from panic attacks. (I have xanax for when that happens) I feel like such a burden to society. Every day I'm angry- so so irritable. I'm either feeling numb inside-not caring about anything, overly sensitive-crying at everything or angry at everything. All i want to do is sleep. I sleep at least 11- I5 hours every day. I have no friends, just my mum and she's sick of me. I don't want to be so mean, but I just explode. She blames me, and says I don't want help. She doesn't realize the extent of my social phobia. I'm terrified of people. The fear of rejection is to much.
I'm not sure if the Zyprexa is doing anything for me. I feel such confidence and trust in my Dr, I'm scared if I tell him all I feel, he'll turn me away, like my psychologist did. I find it hard to trust people and I couldn't handle it if it happened again. So I only talk to my GP now. Also I fear doing things because the thought of doing evokes such fear that I seem to avoid pretty much everything. Do I need a mood stabilizer? or new meds? Thank you for any help you can give

[Peter Forster]

Lisa's suggestions are good ones. But I would also add that it is important that you find a way of talking about these issues with your psychiatrist. Perhaps it might help to write down a list of one or two concerns to talk about at your next visit. Bring two copies to the session. I always appreciate it when a patient puts a little extra effort into preparing for a visit.

By the way, do any of these apply to you?


Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation (she is great, she is awful).
Markedly and persistently unstable sense of self (not being sure who you are).
Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., sex, eating, substance abuse, reckless driving).
Self-injuring behavior such as cutting, interfering with the healing of scars (excoriation) or picking at oneself.
Intense bad moods, irritability or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days
Chronic feelings of emptiness
Difficulty controlling anger
Transient, stress-related paranoid thoughts or feelings of detachment

[whitecat78]

You sound just like me a few months ago, I had chronic irritability, I felt angry all the time, I also have trichotillomania. I am better but I still get annoyed very easily and I still avoid things like the phone for example, I wont answer if it rings, it stresses me out.   The reason I think I am so angry is because I want to be able to be independent, make my own money and have control of my future, but it just seems impossible, I am not very good with social interactions.  I have found that I feel better when I face my fears baby step at a time.