Aa
A real mess Quix or anyone
Hi
I seem to always be posting lately but iv began to think of you as family!!
Iv been in a bad flare again these past few days but thats nothing new!! But something has been different i have been in constant tears,snappy to my children and just dont want to even get out of bed or face anything.
I have started diazapam recently only a low does at night 8mg and was wondering if this was making me depressed and tearfull!!
Things are not good with my husband and i, i have a huge amount of debt building and my house is falling in around me which too could be adding to the stress.
Iv called my doctor she will ring later i was thinking of changing my diazapam to amitripline as i had that before to help me sleep but its a anti-depressant, i really dont want my consultant to know im on a anti-depressant as im afraid he will just right me off as depressed and i have not been till now!!
But my husband said he cant take much more his worried at work about me at home and does not know how we will cope when he takes this new job and will be away for 12 hours a day 5 days a week, he has been helping so much lately.
Has anyone else had people come in and give them a hand like a home help or something?, i dont have family near me no mum nad dad as they have passed away. I have the church but i cant expect them to help all the time.
Samantha x
I seem to always be posting lately but iv began to think of you as family!!
Iv been in a bad flare again these past few days but thats nothing new!! But something has been different i have been in constant tears,snappy to my children and just dont want to even get out of bed or face anything.
I have started diazapam recently only a low does at night 8mg and was wondering if this was making me depressed and tearfull!!
Things are not good with my husband and i, i have a huge amount of debt building and my house is falling in around me which too could be adding to the stress.
Iv called my doctor she will ring later i was thinking of changing my diazapam to amitripline as i had that before to help me sleep but its a anti-depressant, i really dont want my consultant to know im on a anti-depressant as im afraid he will just right me off as depressed and i have not been till now!!
But my husband said he cant take much more his worried at work about me at home and does not know how we will cope when he takes this new job and will be away for 12 hours a day 5 days a week, he has been helping so much lately.
Has anyone else had people come in and give them a hand like a home help or something?, i dont have family near me no mum nad dad as they have passed away. I have the church but i cant expect them to help all the time.
Samantha x
grannyhotwheels and T-lynn
The pain has started to lift and i am able to move around again,iv done a little light housework today though im still not driving and have not been out the house my friends have been kind enough to ferry my kids to and back again its ment they have missed some of there after school clubs but they have been reallly good about that.
I tried to get free transport from the councill as the school is 4 miles away from my home and your entitled to free transport but they turned me down as they said there was a school closer they could go to so would not provide the transport, i tried to explain that i was ok up untill i got ill and now on days just cant take them but there not budging so i might appeal but i just cant handle the forms then the doctors cert at the moment my doctor is doing enough for me by giving me free cert already so i can get my car insurance paid your ment to pay £10 per cert but she lets me off as she knows i am tight for money.
Im certain my moods are linked to my intence pain there is a level of pain i always live with but when it goes way over that i cant cope!!
Iv also cut my diazapam slowly to 6mg now and uped my lyrica at night which is helping i want to come off the diazapam all together if i have spasms again i will get a different drug though it helps it does something to my moods im sure.I already take quinine at night too for the spasms.
Im a very social person too and i had just started feeling well enough for two weeks to get to church on sunday and the ladies meeting on the friday and friends were visiting which also lifted my mood but then to be house bound again really shakes me and sends me into a deep depression along with the pain and my husband not even wanting to make love to me at the moment because of our issues (not that i feel i can) that has been going a few months now which is hurtfull as i hate the way i look and sometimes just want to be close to him to fell normal again to make all this go away.
Carol im not sure ill take the anti-depressant my friend had the same one and it made her bad iv also had a bad experience when i was on prozac after my mum and dad died bak in 1999 and 2000.But i am still praying about that and will see how it goes.
T-lynn your thing about the riding the dog to get here was very funny and made me smile!! You have been through a rough ride too lately and for a long time how do you cope hun?
I am starting to draw more strength from the lord and i know he walks with me and that he will guide me through this and get me answers.
I think the best thing for me in my finance issue would be to go bankrupt my husband did it three years ago and i have been fighting not too ever since but i think it will be the best thing for us both as it will mean a clean slate!!
I have made so many friends on here and could not do without the kind words and advise from you all it has kept me sane !! (just about lol)
You are truely loving wonderfull people who i feel god has brought together to support each other.
Today so far is the first day i have not cried my eyes out!! lets hope it is up from here, and i pray to god that pain does not come back!! but if it does then i know you are here god is here and i can do this and bring myself back up.
Samantha xx
The pain has started to lift and i am able to move around again,iv done a little light housework today though im still not driving and have not been out the house my friends have been kind enough to ferry my kids to and back again its ment they have missed some of there after school clubs but they have been reallly good about that.
I tried to get free transport from the councill as the school is 4 miles away from my home and your entitled to free transport but they turned me down as they said there was a school closer they could go to so would not provide the transport, i tried to explain that i was ok up untill i got ill and now on days just cant take them but there not budging so i might appeal but i just cant handle the forms then the doctors cert at the moment my doctor is doing enough for me by giving me free cert already so i can get my car insurance paid your ment to pay £10 per cert but she lets me off as she knows i am tight for money.
Im certain my moods are linked to my intence pain there is a level of pain i always live with but when it goes way over that i cant cope!!
Iv also cut my diazapam slowly to 6mg now and uped my lyrica at night which is helping i want to come off the diazapam all together if i have spasms again i will get a different drug though it helps it does something to my moods im sure.I already take quinine at night too for the spasms.
Im a very social person too and i had just started feeling well enough for two weeks to get to church on sunday and the ladies meeting on the friday and friends were visiting which also lifted my mood but then to be house bound again really shakes me and sends me into a deep depression along with the pain and my husband not even wanting to make love to me at the moment because of our issues (not that i feel i can) that has been going a few months now which is hurtfull as i hate the way i look and sometimes just want to be close to him to fell normal again to make all this go away.
Carol im not sure ill take the anti-depressant my friend had the same one and it made her bad iv also had a bad experience when i was on prozac after my mum and dad died bak in 1999 and 2000.But i am still praying about that and will see how it goes.
T-lynn your thing about the riding the dog to get here was very funny and made me smile!! You have been through a rough ride too lately and for a long time how do you cope hun?
I am starting to draw more strength from the lord and i know he walks with me and that he will guide me through this and get me answers.
I think the best thing for me in my finance issue would be to go bankrupt my husband did it three years ago and i have been fighting not too ever since but i think it will be the best thing for us both as it will mean a clean slate!!
I have made so many friends on here and could not do without the kind words and advise from you all it has kept me sane !! (just about lol)
You are truely loving wonderfull people who i feel god has brought together to support each other.
Today so far is the first day i have not cried my eyes out!! lets hope it is up from here, and i pray to god that pain does not come back!! but if it does then i know you are here god is here and i can do this and bring myself back up.
Samantha xx
Sweetie,
If I was closer I'd be there to help you in a heart beat,my walking ability ain't the greatest but I can always ride the dog.
Stress plays a big part in any disorder and I have had my trials and tribulations with it here lately,i have found that what I was stressing over didn't matter it was done and over with and out of my control.
I have great financial burdens but what is is and I know the Good Lord will take care of me.
I know what its like to have a spouse not understand,but when He's needed he's definately here.
if the house isn't spotless who cares,if dinner isn't a 5 course meal who cares,these are just incidental things.The best advice I got in a long time was at the infusion clinic was from a nurse ,don't stress the small stuff put it in a bubble and let it float away.
You need to reassure your hubby while he's at work he needs to concentrate on that and if you need him you can call him.
For diazapam,its short acting ,but builds up in the system,I was 10mgs for spasms,I cut the dose in half and take it every 12 hours and it seemed to even things out.
For the spasms theres other meds that are effective,baclofen,zanaflex which has a mild pain med in it and quinine.Tonic water contains quinine.Stretching I can't stress enough on as it does help a great deal.
Try to take a half hour a day just for you,if its reading a joke book,for me I go to a fitness center,don't do a lot but the atmosphere and the new friends I have made has been great.I even went the last 4 days when I could barely walk.They'd help me in the door and with the equipment.They even went with me today to my neuro appointment.
I remember the days of being undiagnosed and sit and cry because I knew my past history of transverse myelitis and these jack*** neuro's couldn't see a bigger picture.
My new neuro seen past all the mumble jumbo and he put everything together and he knows this last attack was brought on by stress and the abnormal hot days and when i couldn't walk I was in the heat,we were shingling the peaks of a roof trying to get things done before winter
My neuro wants me off the diazapam,but it does help in the half doses.
If I had the money I'd help all that I could.I'm not greety and the finer things in life don't excite me.
Keep your faith in the Lord as he is watching over and he is giving you the strength to get through this with your young ones.
When I had my 2 lumbar surgeries in 1998 we filed bancrupcy and had a vehicle reposessed.that was the best strating over point for us.
At this point its just me and my son and daughter,hubby couldn't handle the MS and beleive me Its not easy as I get social security and that isn't much,but we get by and we are happy.
You will get this all figured out,try not to stress over what can't be done and the bills.I know thats hard but the main thing is your health and well being.
We are here for you as you have gained a whole bunch of new family members
T
If I was closer I'd be there to help you in a heart beat,my walking ability ain't the greatest but I can always ride the dog.
Stress plays a big part in any disorder and I have had my trials and tribulations with it here lately,i have found that what I was stressing over didn't matter it was done and over with and out of my control.
I have great financial burdens but what is is and I know the Good Lord will take care of me.
I know what its like to have a spouse not understand,but when He's needed he's definately here.
if the house isn't spotless who cares,if dinner isn't a 5 course meal who cares,these are just incidental things.The best advice I got in a long time was at the infusion clinic was from a nurse ,don't stress the small stuff put it in a bubble and let it float away.
You need to reassure your hubby while he's at work he needs to concentrate on that and if you need him you can call him.
For diazapam,its short acting ,but builds up in the system,I was 10mgs for spasms,I cut the dose in half and take it every 12 hours and it seemed to even things out.
For the spasms theres other meds that are effective,baclofen,zanaflex which has a mild pain med in it and quinine.Tonic water contains quinine.Stretching I can't stress enough on as it does help a great deal.
Try to take a half hour a day just for you,if its reading a joke book,for me I go to a fitness center,don't do a lot but the atmosphere and the new friends I have made has been great.I even went the last 4 days when I could barely walk.They'd help me in the door and with the equipment.They even went with me today to my neuro appointment.
I remember the days of being undiagnosed and sit and cry because I knew my past history of transverse myelitis and these jack*** neuro's couldn't see a bigger picture.
My new neuro seen past all the mumble jumbo and he put everything together and he knows this last attack was brought on by stress and the abnormal hot days and when i couldn't walk I was in the heat,we were shingling the peaks of a roof trying to get things done before winter
My neuro wants me off the diazapam,but it does help in the half doses.
If I had the money I'd help all that I could.I'm not greety and the finer things in life don't excite me.
Keep your faith in the Lord as he is watching over and he is giving you the strength to get through this with your young ones.
When I had my 2 lumbar surgeries in 1998 we filed bancrupcy and had a vehicle reposessed.that was the best strating over point for us.
At this point its just me and my son and daughter,hubby couldn't handle the MS and beleive me Its not easy as I get social security and that isn't much,but we get by and we are happy.
You will get this all figured out,try not to stress over what can't be done and the bills.I know thats hard but the main thing is your health and well being.
We are here for you as you have gained a whole bunch of new family members
T
Hi sweetie, I think you should take the anti-depressant. It's true it wont make the money problems, marital problems, or medical problems go away, but it will help you to cope better. You wont feel that there is nothing left.
I take cymbalta which helps with depression and pain. I am not ashamed to be taking an anti-depressant. I figure with everything we go through with this disease and not just the pain but all the other problems that come along with it, we need something to help us.
I have found, since this forum, that talking with people who really care and who know what your going through helps so much. I'm not sure if that would have even helped me without the anti-depressant. I was in such a dark place with my depression and I think you are too. It is all up to you but taking the medicine will help you but it does take time. It took me a couple of months to start feeling that life was better than I had thought.
Whatever you decide just remember that we are all here for you and we do love and care for you. Please hang in there it will get better.
I'll be praying,
Carol
I take cymbalta which helps with depression and pain. I am not ashamed to be taking an anti-depressant. I figure with everything we go through with this disease and not just the pain but all the other problems that come along with it, we need something to help us.
I have found, since this forum, that talking with people who really care and who know what your going through helps so much. I'm not sure if that would have even helped me without the anti-depressant. I was in such a dark place with my depression and I think you are too. It is all up to you but taking the medicine will help you but it does take time. It took me a couple of months to start feeling that life was better than I had thought.
Whatever you decide just remember that we are all here for you and we do love and care for you. Please hang in there it will get better.
I'll be praying,
Carol
WOW!
you sure know how to pick a girl up, your amazing for that you such a kind way about you even through your own pain and troubles you have time and words for others.
Im so sorry you dont have the money to get medical medication or treatment taht sounds awfull!!
Are you working hun? can you not get any treatment in the U.S.A without private medical insurance ,i so wish i had the money too to help everybody out specially you!!
Would you take the anti-dpressant? i know these drugs over here are expensive and we pay a fraction of what they must really be, i get a pre-payment of a year and pay by dd.
I think the worse stress to me is me and my husband if we are at odds it shakes me though me have been here many times before i guess its one thing more to cope with and the not knowing what this is is a crusher too as i want to face it head on know if its going to be for life or if i might get better from it i cant move on im stuck!!
Im going to come off the diazapam and just pray my spasm dont come back and i can sleep as im also sure this has made me more depressed, i will get something else if i can to help me sleeep and get me through the pain.
I guess i better go my children will be home soon my friend thnak god has been taking and bringing them back all week, i have just slept for two hours to get my energy up lol they are a hand full at times.
Quix is a fountain of love and knowledge and i think god uses her on here to improve peoples life.
Thank Doni for being there for me Hun x
Lots of love Samantha x
you sure know how to pick a girl up, your amazing for that you such a kind way about you even through your own pain and troubles you have time and words for others.
Im so sorry you dont have the money to get medical medication or treatment taht sounds awfull!!
Are you working hun? can you not get any treatment in the U.S.A without private medical insurance ,i so wish i had the money too to help everybody out specially you!!
Would you take the anti-dpressant? i know these drugs over here are expensive and we pay a fraction of what they must really be, i get a pre-payment of a year and pay by dd.
I think the worse stress to me is me and my husband if we are at odds it shakes me though me have been here many times before i guess its one thing more to cope with and the not knowing what this is is a crusher too as i want to face it head on know if its going to be for life or if i might get better from it i cant move on im stuck!!
Im going to come off the diazapam and just pray my spasm dont come back and i can sleep as im also sure this has made me more depressed, i will get something else if i can to help me sleeep and get me through the pain.
I guess i better go my children will be home soon my friend thnak god has been taking and bringing them back all week, i have just slept for two hours to get my energy up lol they are a hand full at times.
Quix is a fountain of love and knowledge and i think god uses her on here to improve peoples life.
Thank Doni for being there for me Hun x
Lots of love Samantha x
You still sound so depressed. I identify with so much you are saying and going through. I had a dream a week or so ago that I had won the big lottery, wouldn't that be nice!?! I would help all my new friends out of their financial burdens, myself included.
I have heard other people on here talk about the stress making their symptoms worse. I have noticed this happens to me too. With all you are going through, I am sure the financial burden, on top of all your pain, isn't helping with your stress level. It all seems like a vicious circle-you worry about the financial side of this disease - your pain is unbearable - your symtoms get worse-etc, etc, etc., on and on and on.
I wish there was something I could do or say that would help you. I don't know much about the meds, as I am not taking anything, just suffering through for now. Quix is such a font of knowledge, it is so great that we have her here to guide us. I have a notebook full of notes from her suggestions to me and others on this site.
Please take care. You say you aren't the person you used to be, I know you have much pain and physical limitations. As far as your personality, your strength, compassion, and love for others, I can't imagine what a great person you were before this illness cause you are a pretty super gal now!!!
Love and ((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))
Doni
I have heard other people on here talk about the stress making their symptoms worse. I have noticed this happens to me too. With all you are going through, I am sure the financial burden, on top of all your pain, isn't helping with your stress level. It all seems like a vicious circle-you worry about the financial side of this disease - your pain is unbearable - your symtoms get worse-etc, etc, etc., on and on and on.
I wish there was something I could do or say that would help you. I don't know much about the meds, as I am not taking anything, just suffering through for now. Quix is such a font of knowledge, it is so great that we have her here to guide us. I have a notebook full of notes from her suggestions to me and others on this site.
Please take care. You say you aren't the person you used to be, I know you have much pain and physical limitations. As far as your personality, your strength, compassion, and love for others, I can't imagine what a great person you were before this illness cause you are a pretty super gal now!!!
Love and ((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))
Doni
Hi
I tried to post a fresh thread but it would not work so mabe something is up with that. (prob me!)
You have been through so much and a simular situation, after my husband being made redundent in 2003 i had to go into full time work as he could not find a job this lasted for a year and we seeped deeper into debt i used all my money my dad left me when he died to keep us a float but it didnt work we lost cars and two house and my husband went bankrupt so he had no more worries there but it effected the type of job he could get so he got a low paid one which ment i still had to carry on working 30-40 hour wekk keep the house going and look after my three kids, i had mild prob since the birth of my second child but put it down to stress i had a car accident in nov 2006 and since then had problems but i coulsd still work. In May i came down with awfull muscle sapsm form by head to my toes i was unable to eat or walk it passed but it left me week and on crutchs and since then i have had flare after flare and am really low. They have come after me of the short fall of the house and i owe £39.000 im with a debt councillor agency and i hope it will be ok but i feel i will have to go bankrupt myself to give us a clean break plus my husband has a new job now with more money to cover my loss of earings but it means him being away from home for 12 hours a day but i have help from the church and my friends.
Im undecided if to take this sertraline anti-dpressant but i do feel out of control but how can a pill take away all my chronic pain and relationship problems and debt, i already take alot of mind alternating drugs and have already lost who i am!!
i really want to be me again and be happy and i am out of flares (when that happens) but my husband thinks it will just create a new me and he wants the old one back!!
Take Care your in my prayers and im so glad the pills worked for you. x
I tried to post a fresh thread but it would not work so mabe something is up with that. (prob me!)
You have been through so much and a simular situation, after my husband being made redundent in 2003 i had to go into full time work as he could not find a job this lasted for a year and we seeped deeper into debt i used all my money my dad left me when he died to keep us a float but it didnt work we lost cars and two house and my husband went bankrupt so he had no more worries there but it effected the type of job he could get so he got a low paid one which ment i still had to carry on working 30-40 hour wekk keep the house going and look after my three kids, i had mild prob since the birth of my second child but put it down to stress i had a car accident in nov 2006 and since then had problems but i coulsd still work. In May i came down with awfull muscle sapsm form by head to my toes i was unable to eat or walk it passed but it left me week and on crutchs and since then i have had flare after flare and am really low. They have come after me of the short fall of the house and i owe £39.000 im with a debt councillor agency and i hope it will be ok but i feel i will have to go bankrupt myself to give us a clean break plus my husband has a new job now with more money to cover my loss of earings but it means him being away from home for 12 hours a day but i have help from the church and my friends.
Im undecided if to take this sertraline anti-dpressant but i do feel out of control but how can a pill take away all my chronic pain and relationship problems and debt, i already take alot of mind alternating drugs and have already lost who i am!!
i really want to be me again and be happy and i am out of flares (when that happens) but my husband thinks it will just create a new me and he wants the old one back!!
Take Care your in my prayers and im so glad the pills worked for you. x
Siddy
Thank you for your prayers and words.x
Quix
I asked to go back on amytriptiline as i was on it before but she said no, i asked if there was anything else i could use for spasm and pain and to get me to sleep she said no not in my case there is not!!
I asked about the dangers of the diazapam and she said they are all dangerous drugs and she would not like to give them to anyone like the lyrica is a dangerous drug and addittive but in my case the positive weighs out the negitive which i would agree with the lyrica it does.
She suggested reducing the diazapam slowley and seeing about uping the lyrica or having sleeping tablets if the spasm do not return at night.
She has offered me Sertraline tablets at 50 mg its a anti dpressant, iv not touched them yet and what worries me is it says contact your doctor urgenly if you are taking diazapam.
I feel like im going out of control so i guess i am depressed but i do have alot of other problems in my life that are not just going away if i take some tablet!!
Im not worried the consultant will think its all in my head she assured me he would not think that and not waste NHS money on tests if he did not think there was something wrong, she feels it is the not knowing and the chronic pain that has lead me to depression.
I will wait and see if this flare passes i have started to reduce my diazapam and uped my lyrica and will do without the diazapm and see if i can sleep through the pain and if the spasms return, if they do im asking for something else! surely they must have the same meds over in the U.K as the same as in the U.S.A?
Im going to research this anti depressant.
Also do you think the lyrica could be mixing with the diazapam and messing my head, my husabnd thinks so ( though i have to laugh as so does he!! but thats another story).
Iv started to have feeling of anger and bitterness which iv never experienced before i have prayed about this but there still there, i was never like this before i was a bright bubble active caring, what has happened to me!!
Thank-you for my Hugs hun x
Thank you for your prayers and words.x
Quix
I asked to go back on amytriptiline as i was on it before but she said no, i asked if there was anything else i could use for spasm and pain and to get me to sleep she said no not in my case there is not!!
I asked about the dangers of the diazapam and she said they are all dangerous drugs and she would not like to give them to anyone like the lyrica is a dangerous drug and addittive but in my case the positive weighs out the negitive which i would agree with the lyrica it does.
She suggested reducing the diazapam slowley and seeing about uping the lyrica or having sleeping tablets if the spasm do not return at night.
She has offered me Sertraline tablets at 50 mg its a anti dpressant, iv not touched them yet and what worries me is it says contact your doctor urgenly if you are taking diazapam.
I feel like im going out of control so i guess i am depressed but i do have alot of other problems in my life that are not just going away if i take some tablet!!
Im not worried the consultant will think its all in my head she assured me he would not think that and not waste NHS money on tests if he did not think there was something wrong, she feels it is the not knowing and the chronic pain that has lead me to depression.
I will wait and see if this flare passes i have started to reduce my diazapam and uped my lyrica and will do without the diazapm and see if i can sleep through the pain and if the spasms return, if they do im asking for something else! surely they must have the same meds over in the U.K as the same as in the U.S.A?
Im going to research this anti depressant.
Also do you think the lyrica could be mixing with the diazapam and messing my head, my husabnd thinks so ( though i have to laugh as so does he!! but thats another story).
Iv started to have feeling of anger and bitterness which iv never experienced before i have prayed about this but there still there, i was never like this before i was a bright bubble active caring, what has happened to me!!
Thank-you for my Hugs hun x
Hey, Dear One, I think you need to be treated in the here and now. Your depression is real, no matter how it started - uncertainty, stress, pain. In the field of pain management one of the basic meds is usually an anti-depressant. One of their more wonderful side effects is the boost in relief of chronic pain. Talk openly to your GP about your fears of what the consultant will think if he sees you are on an antidepressant. One way you and your GP could approach this is to request an antidepressant that is also used in chronic pain control. Ask her to list that as the primary reason for the med. That will make total sense to the Consultant. I don't even think you really need this minor subterfuge, because any neurologist worth his salt would understand the onset of depression well into this devastating illness. If he doesn't you're not going to get much from him anyway.
By the way, 8 to 10 mg of diazepam is a moderately large single dose, easily enough to cause depression. Your doctor may have never seen it do this, but I have lived through someone becoming suddenly suicidal after being on Valium for a short (weeks) time. I have also seen it in my medical practice. The side effect is very real and very possible. It is not just listed in the patient leaflet for legal precautionary sake.
Changing away from diazepam to an antidepressant with pain-controlling effects is a win-win move. You might also need something like Ambien (Zolpidem) or amytriptiline to help you sleep, because the loss of the Valium will interrupt your sleeping for some time. Another thought is clonazepam, which is a relative of valium, but is often used for spasms. I use it for vertigo and the spasms in my back. Stay away from aprazolam (Xanax). The counseling is also a good idea, but you need sleep and pain relief mostly.
Siddy - Would you ask your husband about an antidepressant that would help sleep and be useful in the relief of chronic pain? I'll try looking tomorrow also.
Samantha - Gentle HUGS and warm breezes are coming your way, as Vera from Hong Kong would say. There will be a solution to all this.
Quix
By the way, 8 to 10 mg of diazepam is a moderately large single dose, easily enough to cause depression. Your doctor may have never seen it do this, but I have lived through someone becoming suddenly suicidal after being on Valium for a short (weeks) time. I have also seen it in my medical practice. The side effect is very real and very possible. It is not just listed in the patient leaflet for legal precautionary sake.
Changing away from diazepam to an antidepressant with pain-controlling effects is a win-win move. You might also need something like Ambien (Zolpidem) or amytriptiline to help you sleep, because the loss of the Valium will interrupt your sleeping for some time. Another thought is clonazepam, which is a relative of valium, but is often used for spasms. I use it for vertigo and the spasms in my back. Stay away from aprazolam (Xanax). The counseling is also a good idea, but you need sleep and pain relief mostly.
Siddy - Would you ask your husband about an antidepressant that would help sleep and be useful in the relief of chronic pain? I'll try looking tomorrow also.
Samantha - Gentle HUGS and warm breezes are coming your way, as Vera from Hong Kong would say. There will be a solution to all this.
Quix
Hi Sam
I hope tomorrow will be a better day. I agree with everything said above. It can't get much worse for you so the only other way is up and feeling better. You are in my prayers.
Marcie xxxx
I hope tomorrow will be a better day. I agree with everything said above. It can't get much worse for you so the only other way is up and feeling better. You are in my prayers.
Marcie xxxx
Grannyhotwheels
Thank you so much Hun to think that if you lived close and with all your problems you would come in help how kind is that. God Bless you. I called a friend form church yesterday and she prayed with me as i could not cope at all, they are going to help more in my flares and i feel abit less worried now when my husband chages his job.
cd
i dont have much much time or energy at the moment but tomorrow i will post more and would love to talk more as you have been through a situation to me. thank you for your kind words.
Idab
There have been some wonderfull words on here spoken to me and i am taken back by the kindness it is better then any pill to be honest. You have become my true family.
Thanks ill post more tomorrow. x
Thank you so much Hun to think that if you lived close and with all your problems you would come in help how kind is that. God Bless you. I called a friend form church yesterday and she prayed with me as i could not cope at all, they are going to help more in my flares and i feel abit less worried now when my husband chages his job.
cd
i dont have much much time or energy at the moment but tomorrow i will post more and would love to talk more as you have been through a situation to me. thank you for your kind words.
Idab
There have been some wonderfull words on here spoken to me and i am taken back by the kindness it is better then any pill to be honest. You have become my true family.
Thanks ill post more tomorrow. x
Wow, what tremendous words have radiated from this page. You have been through a lot Samantha, along with Doni & Frann, including Johnny - you are ALL women and men of strength. As I mentioned a while back to Quix when she went through one of her many dark and painful moments - I believe what I know in my heart to be true…That your ‘darkness’ will fade with the morning, for there is no night without dawning and I know that “Your Morning is near”. Thinking of you all always.
I am so sorry to hear of your problems I have alot of the same things that happened to me.
May I suggest Lexapro.
In 2005, I was having the same depression and stress of bills, I started a daycare service and my twins and 5 years old, along with the first weird symptom of double vision and MRI's and Neuro appointment. The scary words of it might be MS were said for the first time.
My doctor gave my Lexapro, It helped my mood swings, depression ( I would get teary eyed when I would just talk about things) The aniexty of my bills. That is why had to start watching kids. I had my twins, lost my $35,000.0 / year job 3 days after I had them. The cost of daycare for 2 new borns and a 3 year old was $375.00 / week. I was going to start at the bottom with a huge pay cut. I knewI had to do something so I decided to stay home and watch kids. I went through a bacruptcy, a repo. of our family van. I felt like my whole world was crumbling all around me.
The medicine really helped.
I
In 2006 life started to get a little easier.
2007 had some wierd things happening to me but, I do think the Lexapro is still helping me cope with life and all this.
I do have family that will help if I ask. I am so sorry that you do not. I really do recommend you try this medicine. I think it saved my marriage too. My husband would look at me like I was a ***** and depressed person he didn't want to get near.
Now, we are great.
I hope this helps. If you need someone to talk to I am home with just my 3 kids now (TOOO MUCH STRESS) and I always check in once a day.
RAE
Rae
May I suggest Lexapro.
In 2005, I was having the same depression and stress of bills, I started a daycare service and my twins and 5 years old, along with the first weird symptom of double vision and MRI's and Neuro appointment. The scary words of it might be MS were said for the first time.
My doctor gave my Lexapro, It helped my mood swings, depression ( I would get teary eyed when I would just talk about things) The aniexty of my bills. That is why had to start watching kids. I had my twins, lost my $35,000.0 / year job 3 days after I had them. The cost of daycare for 2 new borns and a 3 year old was $375.00 / week. I was going to start at the bottom with a huge pay cut. I knewI had to do something so I decided to stay home and watch kids. I went through a bacruptcy, a repo. of our family van. I felt like my whole world was crumbling all around me.
The medicine really helped.
I
In 2006 life started to get a little easier.
2007 had some wierd things happening to me but, I do think the Lexapro is still helping me cope with life and all this.
I do have family that will help if I ask. I am so sorry that you do not. I really do recommend you try this medicine. I think it saved my marriage too. My husband would look at me like I was a ***** and depressed person he didn't want to get near.
Now, we are great.
I hope this helps. If you need someone to talk to I am home with just my 3 kids now (TOOO MUCH STRESS) and I always check in once a day.
RAE
Rae
Hi
I was taken back by your kind words and advise, you are a special guy and i hope you and your wife have the time of your life away!! i hope that the old feelings will come pouring back!!
Me and my husband have had tough times before when i worked full time a while ago for a year as he could not find work after being made redundent was hard!! we lost our house and ever since have been in rented accomodation. Afte that once he had got a job we had so much debt i had to carrry on working a 30-40hour week and keep the home going too as well as fiting in my social life and jogging which i miss so much!! And now my illness has falsed him back into a job he does not want to do!
I have my faith which too for him is a issue, but its the most important thing in my life and i have faith god will walk us through this.
I know my kids are strong and i guess it teaches them things too about team work.
It must be so hard for you as a man to have this illness as many women do look to the man for support and strength so i guess for you thats a hard thing as it sounds you were a real action man!!
You sound like a kind sensitive man and im sure your wife is a lukey woman in many ways.
Iv been on the amtripline before and wanted them again instead of the diazapam, i love the lyrica and have no problems with that, ill think about the anti-depressant and if i want to have it or not. Im waiting for the doctor to phone me back to talk about it more.
Take Care
Have the best time keep us posted, i pray you will be heathy.
Samantha x
I was taken back by your kind words and advise, you are a special guy and i hope you and your wife have the time of your life away!! i hope that the old feelings will come pouring back!!
Me and my husband have had tough times before when i worked full time a while ago for a year as he could not find work after being made redundent was hard!! we lost our house and ever since have been in rented accomodation. Afte that once he had got a job we had so much debt i had to carrry on working a 30-40hour week and keep the home going too as well as fiting in my social life and jogging which i miss so much!! And now my illness has falsed him back into a job he does not want to do!
I have my faith which too for him is a issue, but its the most important thing in my life and i have faith god will walk us through this.
I know my kids are strong and i guess it teaches them things too about team work.
It must be so hard for you as a man to have this illness as many women do look to the man for support and strength so i guess for you thats a hard thing as it sounds you were a real action man!!
You sound like a kind sensitive man and im sure your wife is a lukey woman in many ways.
Iv been on the amtripline before and wanted them again instead of the diazapam, i love the lyrica and have no problems with that, ill think about the anti-depressant and if i want to have it or not. Im waiting for the doctor to phone me back to talk about it more.
Take Care
Have the best time keep us posted, i pray you will be heathy.
Samantha x
You are making me feel ashamed for even complaining about my problems. I wish I lived near you and I would come and help. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Honey, you have got to turn this over to God. Let him carry the burden for a while, you've been doing it long enough. All I can do for you is be a friend and I will be that. Any time you want to talk or vent just let it rip. We all love you and care what happens to you so please let us help by just being here when you need us.
I'll be praying,
Carol
I'll be praying,
Carol
Hey there, rough week I'm guessing. I wish I was a little closer than 3000 miles away because first off you need a big hug and just to be held tight. Secondly, I haven't been to London in 25 years and would love an excuse to go back. I am a history buff and theres no place richer.
So, a little down and blue? Quix is spot on. Medication can bring on depression which is bad enough because most of us don't think we are depressed. My neurophyscologist a couple of weeks back told me I need to see a psychiatrist for depression. I meant it when I told him "I don't feel depressed" and he told me it was so evident just by looking at me. MS patients are at a significantly higher risk of developing depression, clinical depression. Bad stuff. Hard to deal with stuff. But treatable. Like most everyone here I am worried for you.
I have never entertained suicidal thoughts, but depression can be debilitating and make life a nightmare. There is nothing wrong with being open about your present condition. We have created a society that says illness is weakness. I didn't do anything to bring this upon myself and neither did you.
Just a week ago I had a conversation with my boss about how I was doing. I said, OK I guess, not sure but the doctor said I need to think about treatment options, gets some rehabilitative training, and see someone for depression. Yes, I told him I might be depressed! Was it easy, NO! I'm a 47 year old, outwardly healthy looking male, I just spent 20y in the military, and now I have mental issues. Not exactly where I expected to be at this point in my life. Somehow I felt better after the conversation. Yeah he knows things aren't great. Do I think he judges me in regard to what I told him? NO. I think it helps him understand though where I'm at and for the grace of God he's not there himself. We didn't choose this road, and for that matter neither did our significant others.
Your husband will find the strength to make do, and so will you. So the house isn't as clean as it used to be, is that a crime? Just remember that an awful lot of people think your pretty special including your husband. Try to build memories and not walls. There are plenty of things for you both to enjoy together, they may not be the things you used to do together, but they certainly can be meaningful.
Now I'm going to go away with my wife of 27 years tomorrow and start building new memories. Things have been tough for her just like your husband. It's her weekend, and nobody better rain on my parade!
Just give your husband a big hug, and let him know that its from all your friends here hoping things are well.
Take care and hope you feel better soon!
Johnny
PS: I was on the amtripiline myself for sleep and it had other positive effects. It's just such a fine balance finding the right meds and one flare up can throw the whole thing off. Don't worry so much about the kids, they are young, strong, and resilient, and they have unconditional love.
So, a little down and blue? Quix is spot on. Medication can bring on depression which is bad enough because most of us don't think we are depressed. My neurophyscologist a couple of weeks back told me I need to see a psychiatrist for depression. I meant it when I told him "I don't feel depressed" and he told me it was so evident just by looking at me. MS patients are at a significantly higher risk of developing depression, clinical depression. Bad stuff. Hard to deal with stuff. But treatable. Like most everyone here I am worried for you.
I have never entertained suicidal thoughts, but depression can be debilitating and make life a nightmare. There is nothing wrong with being open about your present condition. We have created a society that says illness is weakness. I didn't do anything to bring this upon myself and neither did you.
Just a week ago I had a conversation with my boss about how I was doing. I said, OK I guess, not sure but the doctor said I need to think about treatment options, gets some rehabilitative training, and see someone for depression. Yes, I told him I might be depressed! Was it easy, NO! I'm a 47 year old, outwardly healthy looking male, I just spent 20y in the military, and now I have mental issues. Not exactly where I expected to be at this point in my life. Somehow I felt better after the conversation. Yeah he knows things aren't great. Do I think he judges me in regard to what I told him? NO. I think it helps him understand though where I'm at and for the grace of God he's not there himself. We didn't choose this road, and for that matter neither did our significant others.
Your husband will find the strength to make do, and so will you. So the house isn't as clean as it used to be, is that a crime? Just remember that an awful lot of people think your pretty special including your husband. Try to build memories and not walls. There are plenty of things for you both to enjoy together, they may not be the things you used to do together, but they certainly can be meaningful.
Now I'm going to go away with my wife of 27 years tomorrow and start building new memories. Things have been tough for her just like your husband. It's her weekend, and nobody better rain on my parade!
Just give your husband a big hug, and let him know that its from all your friends here hoping things are well.
Take care and hope you feel better soon!
Johnny
PS: I was on the amtripiline myself for sleep and it had other positive effects. It's just such a fine balance finding the right meds and one flare up can throw the whole thing off. Don't worry so much about the kids, they are young, strong, and resilient, and they have unconditional love.
Hi hope your well,
I talked to my doctor and she said that it would not cause this but me and my husband have read the patient leaflet and it says just what you say.
But i am on a very low dose 8mg to 10mg every night but it help me sleeps as it relax's my muscles, i have felt different since being on it but i was only emotional when this flare began and i wonder if it was just everything else going on in my life as well as the pain. I started the diazapam 2 week's before it was only a tempory thing but im still on it i want to change to another drug that will help me sleep and stop the spasms and pain i get from laying on either hip!! but instead the doctor prescibed a anti-depressant which i really feel i dont want to take.
I do get like this in a flare i cant understand why its pain iv dealt with a hundred times but its a awfull pain like a dentist drill on a raw nerve in patches all over my body.
Im coming out of it now just tired and less nerve pain it builds though if i try and do anything which is hard not to with three kids, so im house bound for a week and maybe more till i am much better as i am scared it will flare again and my husband has his new job on Monday and i wont cope if i flare again as there is no one around to help my friends can do the school runs at a push and the church can help to a degree but they cant come over and dress them feed them, though my eldest does cope well and does do alot of things for us all including the house work!!
What else could i take instead of the diazapam that would help me sleep and stop muscle spasm?
Is it not good to use these long term? I
I asked for amtripiline as that is a anti-depressant and nerve pain killer but im already on the lyrica 450mg now as iv uped it.
Iv got the doctor to ring me back so i will ask for something different i think.
Samantha
I talked to my doctor and she said that it would not cause this but me and my husband have read the patient leaflet and it says just what you say.
But i am on a very low dose 8mg to 10mg every night but it help me sleeps as it relax's my muscles, i have felt different since being on it but i was only emotional when this flare began and i wonder if it was just everything else going on in my life as well as the pain. I started the diazapam 2 week's before it was only a tempory thing but im still on it i want to change to another drug that will help me sleep and stop the spasms and pain i get from laying on either hip!! but instead the doctor prescibed a anti-depressant which i really feel i dont want to take.
I do get like this in a flare i cant understand why its pain iv dealt with a hundred times but its a awfull pain like a dentist drill on a raw nerve in patches all over my body.
Im coming out of it now just tired and less nerve pain it builds though if i try and do anything which is hard not to with three kids, so im house bound for a week and maybe more till i am much better as i am scared it will flare again and my husband has his new job on Monday and i wont cope if i flare again as there is no one around to help my friends can do the school runs at a push and the church can help to a degree but they cant come over and dress them feed them, though my eldest does cope well and does do alot of things for us all including the house work!!
What else could i take instead of the diazapam that would help me sleep and stop muscle spasm?
Is it not good to use these long term? I
I asked for amtripiline as that is a anti-depressant and nerve pain killer but im already on the lyrica 450mg now as iv uped it.
Iv got the doctor to ring me back so i will ask for something different i think.
Samantha
Hi, Samantha, you are getting wonderful words of wisdom, so I will add the answer to your question.
YES!!!! One of the major side effects of diazepam (Valium) is sudden onset (often) severe depression and even suicidal ideation. It may be a major cuprit here. A different med may, indeed, be what you need. Depending on how long you have been on it you may need to taper and may still have some withdrawal with it. Talk to your doc ASAP! Diazepam is worse about the depression even than many of the other benzodiazepenes.
Quix
YES!!!! One of the major side effects of diazepam (Valium) is sudden onset (often) severe depression and even suicidal ideation. It may be a major cuprit here. A different med may, indeed, be what you need. Depending on how long you have been on it you may need to taper and may still have some withdrawal with it. Talk to your doc ASAP! Diazepam is worse about the depression even than many of the other benzodiazepenes.
Quix
Doni
What would i do without you to lift me you are so kind and even through what you are going through, Thanks.
When im really bad i cant read or even watch tele so i put my worship cd on and ball my eyes out to the lord (boy he must be bored of that same cd lol)
I do try and think of happy things but sometimes that sets me off onto the things i used to do or be able to do.
Im not sure ill take this anti depressant im depressed cause i dont know what im facing and of the things i cant do anymore and the pain that really drugs me down.
Your sx like mine are simular i have wondered sometimes if its fibro instead of MS, i just need to know so i can face it front on.Lets hope ill get some answers at st georges in london.
I have not worked for 5 months now and am on SSP pay which is nothing reallly hence the debt and my husband having to get this new job.
I had a answer to prayer earlier when i got someone to get the kids home as tues and weds are hard days to arrange i can do the school run when im not having a flare my husband took them this morning but means he will be late home but the kids have hovered polished and helping with dinner amoungst doing there homework they are not always like that though.
i feel abit brighter now specially knowing you all care so much.
Id love to keep in contact and will email you then your have my email and anytime doni you can email me hun x
fran
you put such a brave face on things (not like me hugh) im sorry you feel too you are not coping and are having more physical problems with your GI issues i cant imagine how that must feel!! I get very bad piles that bleed awfull as i get so consipated and all the fibrogel and lactolose in the world never seems to keep things moving!!
Just keep praying for strength and that the lord will restore your relationship with your mother in law in works in funny ways sometimes!!
Maybe you can get some extra help like a home help to support you all i used to be a support worker in the community and do just that same thing but i dont know how it all works out there.
i will pray for strength for your husband to look after your granson and that he will strenthen you too to help when you can.
Oh fran my heart bleeds for you, im so sorry so many of us have so many trials to face on top of our illnesses.
I know the lord only gives us the measure we can cope with but on somedays i find myself saying "are you sure lord i can cope with this" but he is faithfull and has never let me down yet!!
Iv spent alot of time praying today and have felt better enough to do dinner with my kids help.
God Bless You x
What would i do without you to lift me you are so kind and even through what you are going through, Thanks.
When im really bad i cant read or even watch tele so i put my worship cd on and ball my eyes out to the lord (boy he must be bored of that same cd lol)
I do try and think of happy things but sometimes that sets me off onto the things i used to do or be able to do.
Im not sure ill take this anti depressant im depressed cause i dont know what im facing and of the things i cant do anymore and the pain that really drugs me down.
Your sx like mine are simular i have wondered sometimes if its fibro instead of MS, i just need to know so i can face it front on.Lets hope ill get some answers at st georges in london.
I have not worked for 5 months now and am on SSP pay which is nothing reallly hence the debt and my husband having to get this new job.
I had a answer to prayer earlier when i got someone to get the kids home as tues and weds are hard days to arrange i can do the school run when im not having a flare my husband took them this morning but means he will be late home but the kids have hovered polished and helping with dinner amoungst doing there homework they are not always like that though.
i feel abit brighter now specially knowing you all care so much.
Id love to keep in contact and will email you then your have my email and anytime doni you can email me hun x
fran
you put such a brave face on things (not like me hugh) im sorry you feel too you are not coping and are having more physical problems with your GI issues i cant imagine how that must feel!! I get very bad piles that bleed awfull as i get so consipated and all the fibrogel and lactolose in the world never seems to keep things moving!!
Just keep praying for strength and that the lord will restore your relationship with your mother in law in works in funny ways sometimes!!
Maybe you can get some extra help like a home help to support you all i used to be a support worker in the community and do just that same thing but i dont know how it all works out there.
i will pray for strength for your husband to look after your granson and that he will strenthen you too to help when you can.
Oh fran my heart bleeds for you, im so sorry so many of us have so many trials to face on top of our illnesses.
I know the lord only gives us the measure we can cope with but on somedays i find myself saying "are you sure lord i can cope with this" but he is faithfull and has never let me down yet!!
Iv spent alot of time praying today and have felt better enough to do dinner with my kids help.
God Bless You x
Hi,
I am sorry things have been difficult at home, I know that when we are under stress, it DOES seem to bring on flare-ups to our symptoms.
It seems many of us are having a rough time lately and i am too... i have been trying to cope and keep it to myself but it has been rough... i mentioned in other posts that ny grandson has special needs and it has been a great worry on my heart... my husband helps in his care while his parents work... i help when i am able... but i am so exhausted easily and it is sooo hard to get around on the floor and play with him and stimulate him...i give him my all and then i am wiped out... but my husband does most of the physcial help.... we are there 3 days a week...
now my mother in law who has been in a rehab post heart attack and pacemaker has to come live with us... she also has COPD & now severe short term memory problems...we have had our past issues and it is difficult for me but i have always made sure she was part of our family life... but it was nice when she went home ( you know what i mean)... well... now home is with me... i feel sooooooooo guilty that i am anxioux about this... i feel i will not be able to handle it... i feel bad that in my heart i don't want her here but, she can't be alone and because of finances we cannot afford to let her stay in her apartment with help...
so, since my husband is an only child, we are it... i feel bad for him, he knows this is not the best scenario but it has been a strain... a big one...we have been bickering and i feel he thinks i am awful when i say i am i am not looking forward to this...which will happen tomorrow or thursday... he just looks at me sadly like what do you want me to do???? i feel like we are being torn apart... my health, my grandson, now my mother in law... we are being challenged... for sure... but i do trust in the Lord, He will be my strength... i am leaning real hard on Him now...
sorry i added my own 2 cents but i guess, you are not alone... i am having flare ups too... now i am starting to have GI isssues... sounds gross but i am having severe bleeding rectally... i think it is another flare up of diverticulitis.... tender abdomen... living on pastina and oatmeal for 2 days... this sometimes happens when i am stressed...
so keep us in your prayers as i will continue to keep you too.
GOD bless,
Frann
I am sorry things have been difficult at home, I know that when we are under stress, it DOES seem to bring on flare-ups to our symptoms.
It seems many of us are having a rough time lately and i am too... i have been trying to cope and keep it to myself but it has been rough... i mentioned in other posts that ny grandson has special needs and it has been a great worry on my heart... my husband helps in his care while his parents work... i help when i am able... but i am so exhausted easily and it is sooo hard to get around on the floor and play with him and stimulate him...i give him my all and then i am wiped out... but my husband does most of the physcial help.... we are there 3 days a week...
now my mother in law who has been in a rehab post heart attack and pacemaker has to come live with us... she also has COPD & now severe short term memory problems...we have had our past issues and it is difficult for me but i have always made sure she was part of our family life... but it was nice when she went home ( you know what i mean)... well... now home is with me... i feel sooooooooo guilty that i am anxioux about this... i feel i will not be able to handle it... i feel bad that in my heart i don't want her here but, she can't be alone and because of finances we cannot afford to let her stay in her apartment with help...
so, since my husband is an only child, we are it... i feel bad for him, he knows this is not the best scenario but it has been a strain... a big one...we have been bickering and i feel he thinks i am awful when i say i am i am not looking forward to this...which will happen tomorrow or thursday... he just looks at me sadly like what do you want me to do???? i feel like we are being torn apart... my health, my grandson, now my mother in law... we are being challenged... for sure... but i do trust in the Lord, He will be my strength... i am leaning real hard on Him now...
sorry i added my own 2 cents but i guess, you are not alone... i am having flare ups too... now i am starting to have GI isssues... sounds gross but i am having severe bleeding rectally... i think it is another flare up of diverticulitis.... tender abdomen... living on pastina and oatmeal for 2 days... this sometimes happens when i am stressed...
so keep us in your prayers as i will continue to keep you too.
GOD bless,
Frann
Samantha
I am so sorry you keep going thru all this. I wish you could get a break. We've talked so many times about how our symtoms sound alike and I know what you mean about the pain making you depressed. I was really bad a couple of weeks ago and all of you came to my rescue.
You have been in my prayers and I think of you often. If I was anywhere near you I would be there to help. I know how hard it is, but try to keep your spirits up as best you can.
When I am having a bad pain day I try to focus on something funny or happy, like something good I have experienced in the past. Sometimes it helps, if only for a little while. I have read books that say to have a good thought you can bring up when things are bad. Mine is my son, Cory, he writes songs, sings and plays the guitar. When I am having a really bad day I think of him and pretend he is singing to me. It's crazy, but it does help some.
I have tried meditation, but just can't shut my mind down long enough to do any good.
I am also like you without a dx, I haven't even started with any tests due to the lack of insurance. As with you, finances just aren't working out for me right now. I know how it is to have the pain on a constant basis, I also have had very few days this year pain free. Seems like everytime I turn around something else starts. Woke up during the night with dime sized buzzing spots all over my face. This is totally new, have you ever had this? Felt totally and completly weird.
Hopefully with your tests they will finally be able to give you a dx. I know you don't want it to be MS, but to just know what is happening to you would give you something to fight against. I will pray for you to have a resolution to all this, even if it is just in finding a dx.
Please take care of yourself, you do sound so much like me. I have been so depressed off and on this year, but like you I always manage to pull myself back up. You are always there with a kind word when I am down and I appreciate you so very much.
As far as problems in your marriage. If you feel like talking to someone would help then go for it. After reading Carol's post, it seems we all are having degrees of the same problem. I guess bad health, whether MS or something else, can cause deep rifts in relationships. It sounds to me like your husband really loves you and is worried about you. I hope things work out for the two of you in a positive manner.
Well, this has been an extremely long post, but I am worried about you. If you would ever want to talk in person my email is samndoni at yahoo dot com. Feel free anytime you need someone to talk to, I'll be here for you.
Love and ((((hugs))))
Doni
I am so sorry you keep going thru all this. I wish you could get a break. We've talked so many times about how our symtoms sound alike and I know what you mean about the pain making you depressed. I was really bad a couple of weeks ago and all of you came to my rescue.
You have been in my prayers and I think of you often. If I was anywhere near you I would be there to help. I know how hard it is, but try to keep your spirits up as best you can.
When I am having a bad pain day I try to focus on something funny or happy, like something good I have experienced in the past. Sometimes it helps, if only for a little while. I have read books that say to have a good thought you can bring up when things are bad. Mine is my son, Cory, he writes songs, sings and plays the guitar. When I am having a really bad day I think of him and pretend he is singing to me. It's crazy, but it does help some.
I have tried meditation, but just can't shut my mind down long enough to do any good.
I am also like you without a dx, I haven't even started with any tests due to the lack of insurance. As with you, finances just aren't working out for me right now. I know how it is to have the pain on a constant basis, I also have had very few days this year pain free. Seems like everytime I turn around something else starts. Woke up during the night with dime sized buzzing spots all over my face. This is totally new, have you ever had this? Felt totally and completly weird.
Hopefully with your tests they will finally be able to give you a dx. I know you don't want it to be MS, but to just know what is happening to you would give you something to fight against. I will pray for you to have a resolution to all this, even if it is just in finding a dx.
Please take care of yourself, you do sound so much like me. I have been so depressed off and on this year, but like you I always manage to pull myself back up. You are always there with a kind word when I am down and I appreciate you so very much.
As far as problems in your marriage. If you feel like talking to someone would help then go for it. After reading Carol's post, it seems we all are having degrees of the same problem. I guess bad health, whether MS or something else, can cause deep rifts in relationships. It sounds to me like your husband really loves you and is worried about you. I hope things work out for the two of you in a positive manner.
Well, this has been an extremely long post, but I am worried about you. If you would ever want to talk in person my email is samndoni at yahoo dot com. Feel free anytime you need someone to talk to, I'll be here for you.
Love and ((((hugs))))
Doni
Thanks Hun,
I think going out on the saturday for an afternoon seemed to bring on this flare that and the marriage problems it might be a good idea to talk to someone who could give us advise about how to deal with this illness in our marriage.
The other problems is i cant head this straight on as i dont have a dx so i cant look at it investigate it join support groups give my husband a leaflet to look at as i dont know what im fighting which makes it harder to deal with.
I still have test to go through on the 24th October,LP,EMG,NCS and a repeat MRI in December i used to think my sx matchted MS in the begining when i was working and they were mild but since
May this year when iv been off work i dont think there has been more then a week or two weeks gone by without a flare and inbetween those times i have not been able to live a full life as im always getting over a flare.
Im just abit down ill pick myself up again i always do, when the pain has subsided and i can clearly think again i will shine once more.
I pray to God about this and i have faith he is in control.
samantha x
I think going out on the saturday for an afternoon seemed to bring on this flare that and the marriage problems it might be a good idea to talk to someone who could give us advise about how to deal with this illness in our marriage.
The other problems is i cant head this straight on as i dont have a dx so i cant look at it investigate it join support groups give my husband a leaflet to look at as i dont know what im fighting which makes it harder to deal with.
I still have test to go through on the 24th October,LP,EMG,NCS and a repeat MRI in December i used to think my sx matchted MS in the begining when i was working and they were mild but since
May this year when iv been off work i dont think there has been more then a week or two weeks gone by without a flare and inbetween those times i have not been able to live a full life as im always getting over a flare.
Im just abit down ill pick myself up again i always do, when the pain has subsided and i can clearly think again i will shine once more.
I pray to God about this and i have faith he is in control.
samantha x
It sounds like your flair-up is directly related to your stress. My gosh, you are going through so much.
I would never suggest an anti-depressant unless it is followed up with some expert counseling by a professional. So what if you take an anti-depressant? Your "consultant" should know that depression is very common in your circumstance. I would never be ashamed to take it, if I were in your situation. You have more than enough going on.
I really feel that talking with a counselor or marriage counselor would do you and your marriage a world of good. It's very hard on the care-taker as well as you, to go through this disease. You both need the guidance from a professional, as well as keeping in touch with your friends here on this forum. Talking is good. But you also need feedback-from a professional, that has dealt with this before.
I feel so bad for your current situation. Been there. It's so hard. It feels like your whole world is falling apart and you seem helpless to stop it. A professional can give your the "tools" to cope with your circumstances, so you are able to live life to the fullest AND have a solid marriage...which if I read correctly, is exactly what you want. We all know that you can "control" what happens with MS, but we CAN control and try to cope with the hand that we are dealt.
Hang in there, girl. You can do this....
Heather
I would never suggest an anti-depressant unless it is followed up with some expert counseling by a professional. So what if you take an anti-depressant? Your "consultant" should know that depression is very common in your circumstance. I would never be ashamed to take it, if I were in your situation. You have more than enough going on.
I really feel that talking with a counselor or marriage counselor would do you and your marriage a world of good. It's very hard on the care-taker as well as you, to go through this disease. You both need the guidance from a professional, as well as keeping in touch with your friends here on this forum. Talking is good. But you also need feedback-from a professional, that has dealt with this before.
I feel so bad for your current situation. Been there. It's so hard. It feels like your whole world is falling apart and you seem helpless to stop it. A professional can give your the "tools" to cope with your circumstances, so you are able to live life to the fullest AND have a solid marriage...which if I read correctly, is exactly what you want. We all know that you can "control" what happens with MS, but we CAN control and try to cope with the hand that we are dealt.
Hang in there, girl. You can do this....
Heather
Thanks Hun
Just been one thing after another lately and i just dont know where to turn sometimes just talking about it helps. I do pray about it and i know there are others out there worse then me so i should not be sad but gratefull really but i just cant seem to keep my emotions under control.
The doctor phoned and she just thinks its the fact im under chronic pain all the time and its bringing me down but has suggested a anti depressant to help boast me but i said i was worried the consultant would see me on this anti-depressant and put it down to that but she assured me that this is not all in my head and the neuro would not order more test if he did not think something was wrong as they aer expensive test on the NHS.
I loved to meet Friday would be best for me. Try private message and ill give you my email address through there or my home address or we can meet at a tescos near me. Iv tried the private message thing and i cant seem to work it ill try again.
I have more tests on the 24th at st georges in london so maybe ill get some answers then.
Love Samantha
Just been one thing after another lately and i just dont know where to turn sometimes just talking about it helps. I do pray about it and i know there are others out there worse then me so i should not be sad but gratefull really but i just cant seem to keep my emotions under control.
The doctor phoned and she just thinks its the fact im under chronic pain all the time and its bringing me down but has suggested a anti depressant to help boast me but i said i was worried the consultant would see me on this anti-depressant and put it down to that but she assured me that this is not all in my head and the neuro would not order more test if he did not think something was wrong as they aer expensive test on the NHS.
I loved to meet Friday would be best for me. Try private message and ill give you my email address through there or my home address or we can meet at a tescos near me. Iv tried the private message thing and i cant seem to work it ill try again.
I have more tests on the 24th at st georges in london so maybe ill get some answers then.
Love Samantha
Hello Sam,
I have tears in my eyes as I read your latest message. There is so much it!!! How much of it can one take? How much of it can you take?
It is sooooo not fair nice people like yourself have to suffer so much. I am not sure I can suggest anything at the moment or helop you in any way but I honestly sincerely feel for you and your family. I have no idea how one gets over or through all you are currently suffering.
Without any diagnosis it is hard to ask for any help I guess. I do wish the docs sorted you out. I am about 60 miles away from you, but if you like I would be more thatn happy to come and see you one Saturday (Friday).
I was prescribed mitripline when I had what I think was my first epizode couple of years ago. NEver took it. THe doc did not know what they were up against.
Keep talking to people, keep talking to us.
Janey1
I have tears in my eyes as I read your latest message. There is so much it!!! How much of it can one take? How much of it can you take?
It is sooooo not fair nice people like yourself have to suffer so much. I am not sure I can suggest anything at the moment or helop you in any way but I honestly sincerely feel for you and your family. I have no idea how one gets over or through all you are currently suffering.
Without any diagnosis it is hard to ask for any help I guess. I do wish the docs sorted you out. I am about 60 miles away from you, but if you like I would be more thatn happy to come and see you one Saturday (Friday).
I was prescribed mitripline when I had what I think was my first epizode couple of years ago. NEver took it. THe doc did not know what they were up against.
Keep talking to people, keep talking to us.
Janey1
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