depression and MS?

[allie3656]

Hi everyone,
I don't have MS, but my boyfriend does. I'm new to MS and have done research to understand it. Can anyone give me details on it and also give me advice on how to be of support to him. Also is depression a common sympton? He gets in these episodes where he is angry and very sad. He says it's because of the MS, but I just would like advice on how to support him. thanks

[allie3656]

thank you so much for the feedback. I've been pulling out my hair trying to figure out how to make him happy. I've known him for 16 years and before the MS he was confident and inspirational and now he's totally different. At times he's very sweet and loving and then yesterday it was like he was totally different. He was yelling, crying, and drinking. He kept saying he didn't feel like a man because he missed work because of his MS. And you are right Quix he's very emotional! I thought it was him, but now that I know it's MS, explains it more. I did read the depressin article you posted awhile ago and it was very helpful. Does drinking intensify your nerves? He drinks quite a bit and I tell him it contributes to his depression, but he's so angry he doesn't listen. Hes also on benzos which i didn't know could influence depression in MS. But anyways thank you all for the advice and good luck to you.

[cainer]

  you  are a  great  person    he  is very  lucky!   my  experience  is  -new  numbness  - a tingleing  havent had before-  or  the extreme  weakness-    i  get  depressed--

always  come  right back-  but  all theses  feelings  here and  there  through out the day-
  its  just very  hard to get through the day-     well  you  cant tell your partner  all  that
     they  would  go  crasy!!     vison  acts  up-  just tell him  you  love  him  focus on  other  things-        you  will  be  alright!!    take  care-     tick!

[Quixotic1]

Hi, and welcome to the forum.  Your boyfriend has a wonderful friend in you.  I hope he can see that.

MS is an enormously complex disease and every person's disease is different.  I would recommend that you read some of the articles we have on MS that talk about the very common things.  Here are a couple of links.  You will have more questions after you read them, so come back and ask.

The first is an Index of some of the topics

http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Multiple-Sclerosis/MS-Information-and-Resources-Index/show/22?cid=36

This next talks about MS and Depression

http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Multiple-Sclerosis/Depression-and-MS/show/752?cid=36

This next is an essay from a man in his 30's to his friends and family about things he wants them to know.

http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Multiple-Sclerosis/What-I-want-my-family-and--friends-to-know/show/357?cid=36

To answer your main question, yes, MS and depression are closely linked.  The disease itself often causes depression and that depression is often severe.  Suicide is 7 times higher in people with MS than in the general population.  But, the fatigue and discomfort of MS also lend themselves to being depressed, as does having a chronic and very unpredictable disease.

I hope others will join in with suggestions on being supportive.  I would recommend that you be prepared to be spontaneous.  Plans often need to be altered depending on how he is feeling.  Please don't pity him or baby him.  Also do not let him mistreat you just because he feels down.   I have no idea how open he is to talking about the disease, but the more you know the more you can help him understand.

We invite you to stay and get questions answered, but we also invite him to join and toss things around with us.  We have people of all ages, lots of young men, some older, some newly diagnosed and some old-timers.  We have a lot to offer.

It's easy to understand why MS makes people angry.  Their lives are unpredictable and the live they always wanted to have seems to be taken away from them.  We need to use our anger to move ahead and to develop a more positive day-to-day attitude.

Something we have talked about is that often we are really irritable - and we get overly angry or emotional about things that aren't that big a deal.  This is pretty characteristic of MS.  Here is another short article on that:

http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Multiple-Sclerosis/Emotions-and-MS/show/753?cid=36

I hope some of this helps.

Quix, MD