Bad Week

[Ojibajo]

This week seems to be taking forever. I am trying to figure out how to best handle things. I still don't have my "official" diagnosis, but I was told by my neuro that that was her strong suspicion.  

I don't know how to feel and I am not sure what feelings are normal.

I have found myself feeling kind of panicked lately, worried about the future and what's to come. It sounds stupid to be afraid of something that hasn't happened yet or hasn't become that severe yet.

I am debating about having my anti-anxiety medication does raised to deal with some of the anxiety of the situation.  I wondered if I should seek counseling. I am not really sure where to start with that one. I'm not sure where to go or what it even is that is upsetting me the most.

I sort of feel depressed and angry at the same time, if that makes sense. I am cranky and irritable all of the time. It really *****. I have noticed that I have had cognitive issues for awhile and

I am still working full time and I have two incomplete graduate classes that I have to finish, but I is becoming difficult to juggle it all. The cognitive issues are the most frustrating. I used to be so on top of things. Now days I feel like a complete flake most of the time. I feel like I am turning stupid or something. I know others are like, "What the heck is wrong with her?"  What am I supposed to say, "I'm sorry. I have MS. I makes me a bumbling idiot!"

I still can't believe that all of this is going on. I really only went to the doctor for a headache!

[Ojibajo]

Thanks Ren,

I was worried in looking for a counselor because I really wanted someone who had some experience with something like this. It is good to know that you found someone who specializes with long term illness. I guess I wasn't even aware such therapists were out there. I will definitely do some research.

[Ojibajo]

Thanks Alex,

It is good to know that there are not only good counselors out there but other types of therapies too!

Thanks again!

[rendean]

Dear Ojibajo,

You DO have quite a full plate but the feelings you are experiencing are ones that most of use have AFTER we receive our diagnosis. It's an emotional rollercoaster for sure. You actually did a good job of describing what all of us who have been diagnosed have gone through.

You noted yourself you are worrying about things that haven't even happened yet. And, IF you have MS, you can still have full productive life. MS treatments have greatly improved and having MS doesn't automatically put you in a wheelchair.

We have many professionals here on the forum who still work full-time and come here with a question or two or for camaraderie. Many carry on with their lives and no one else knows they have MS. So, don't beat yourself up. Take Alex's suggestion about selecting a counselor. I found mine using the same technique. Mine specializes in long term illness.

I hope you get some definite answers soon. Talking to a counselor is a good idea. It may be just the thing to re-balance your life. Constant worrying can tip scales in the wrong direction.

Ren

[HVAC]

I am sorry you are where you are. I just went to the Doctor for my yearly exam and she saw something she did not like.

When I went to the Neuro appointment after my LP I did not know if I would be more depressed if I was diagnosed or left hanging for yet another six months. I was diagnosed and it was a relief and sad and scary, etc. It had been going on for two years. I decided I needed counseling and the MS Specialist was like you do not need counseling. I knew I was hanging on by a thread. I was thinking every bad thing that could possibly happen.

I went on the internet and googled counselor. There was a referral sight which asked for my zip code. They had profiles of counselors and whether they took my insurance. I found one who specialized in chronic illness, pain, hypnotherapy and art therapy. I am an artist so that intrigued me. It was the best move I ever made. I thought I could not afford it but now I know I could not afford not to have gone. We get along well. If we had not I would have tried someone else.

Most people do not judge us as harshly as we do ourselves. Sounds like you have a full plate with for anyone. Be kind to yourself.

Alex