Driving with MS

[brnstclr]

Hello,

I am new to this community. My wife was recently diagnosed with MS. She has been prescribed Copaxone but hasnt recieved it yet. This weekend, she had a flare up. Her right leg is week and she can barely walk. Her right eye is sore and she says she cannot see out of it. We are still comming to terms with the new DX.

My main concern is her continuing to drive. Especially during flares like this. I offered to drive her to work this morning but she refused. She is very strong willed and I know that is a good thing and that will help her with this disease.

How do I get her to accept help without breaking down her stong will?

[Sparkysarah]

I know that if I had to stop driving I would feel so completely devastated as I live in an isolated place in the countryside in UK. For me it is the practicality of not being abel to drive and also the idea of losing my independence is my greatest fear. I am not ready to face this until it is an absolute necessity because of my family's safety..

Thankfully I am not in this position yet but I do know when I was in relapse I could not drive for several weeks as I was just too tired and my left leg was not strong enough.

Cheers for now

Sarah

[HVAC]

Driving is a tough one. I am grappling with that myself right now. I will allow others to drive me. Sometimes it is hard to find someone when I need it like during the day.

At her stage she also is having to accept the disease and limitations and this is rough for both of you.

We were in a couples workshop the MS Society put on and this was brought up. The counselor suggested the spouse frame it in the reference of his or her feeling such as. "I feel anxious when you do house projects on a ladder when I am not at home, could we make a pact you only climb a ladder when I am at home".

May be if you just express this as a temporary thing which it may be.

Alex

[brnstclr]

Thank You All for you posts. I will see if I can get her to see her Ophthamologist. I think that is a great idea. I am hoping that the Copaxone will help her also. If we can get the insurance co to approve it soon.

[addicted2harleys]

Yup, I agree again with ess.  Seems like we are tag teaming posts this morning.  lol

Ophthamologist is an excellent road to take...

Addi

[essdipity]

Hi, and another welcome from me. Addi has given you some good insights and things to think about. I would only add that you should have your wife see her ophthalmologist. That will take the 'personal' out of this issue and give you good medical information.

Perhaps this is only a temporary situation. Try emphasizing that in talking with your wife, and good luck to you.

ess

[addicted2harleys]

Hi and welcome to our forum!  Since you nd your wife are new to MS, I would expect that you have the desire for as much good info as you can get.  Have you checked out the Health Pages yet?  They are located in the top right hand corner.  There is a lot of really useful info there.

Your post here kind of hit home for me.  I, too, am extremely strong willed.  I know I make it VERY difficult on my mother (whom I now live with) when she tries to help me with things.  

I feel like I have lost so much of my independence and hold on tightly to things that are on the verge of being taken away...like driving.  I, too, have vision probs and leg issues.  My answer to anyone who offered to drive me was an immediate NO I CAN DO IT!

I finally reached a point where I really needed to think about whether it was safe for me (and everyone else!) to be behind the wheel.  

If your wife is anything like me, she will hold on tight to driving...even if she shouldn't be.  Maybe gently pointing out the risks of driving while she is impaired will be helpful.  It doesn't mean, necessarily, that she will never be able to do it again...make sure you point that out too.

If your wife is having fatigue issues, too, then driving is going to affect that, too.  If this is the case, maybe discussing how her energy reserves could be utilized in a different area (and don't say like doing the dishes!!  lol) like doing something special with you or with the kids, if you have them.

I don't know if I helped you out any, but I can say that it is very, very difficult when bits and pieces of your independence is washed away....

Addi