Energy Conservation Test

[Guitar_grrrl]

I'm riding on a train down through the Central Valley of California to visit my dying Dad.  My morning started at 4:30, and I drove to Mountain View (1 hr), walked 4 blocks to the CalTrain station, took that to Millbrae where I transferred to BART, and took that to Richmond, where I boarded Amtrak to Bakersfield.  I plan on taking a nap, soon!  It all sounds exhausting, but I am allowing myself to ask for the lift to get me from the train to the platforms between transfers.  It's not that I can't climb the stairs, I can.  But I only have so much energy.

I'm done pushing myself too hard.  I'm learning to ask for help (not easy for the strong-willed).  Generally, people are kind.  I look at all this as being kind to myself.  Why beat myself up any more than I have to?

What are you doing to be kind to yourself?

[LisaJF]

My deepest and sincerest condolences to you and your family (father).  It is hard to lose a parent -- as a girl...I was Daddy's girl....He spoiled me rotten.

He had Pancreatic and Lung Cancer.  We had hospice at home (he wanted to be there).  

I hope the moments you have left will be spent on telling him how much you love him, how great of a Dad he was and all that he's done to touch other people's lives.

As the saying goes, Apples don't fall far from the trees.  If you're a clear representation of what your father is as a man, then he very special.

Bless you and you're in my thoughts and prayers

Lisa

[rendean]

So sorry to hear about your Dad. Glad you are conserving energy when you need to so that you can have quality time with your Dad.

I always conserve my energy in airports by  requesting a wheelchair, especially in unfamiliar airports so that I don't waste my energy trying to find my way around a new airport when I would rather spend the energy once I arrive at my destination.

I'm glad your daughter is driving you for the next trip so that you can maximize your energy and make unforgettable memories helping your Dad when he needs you most. I am thankful for the time and tons of energy used to help take of my Mom at Thanksgiving when, unknown to me, it would be the last time I would see her. We bonded a lot on that visit in a different way that our close relationship had experienced before.

Take of yourself!

Hugs,
ren

[immisceo]

Glad to hear you're able to enlist some help and are doing what you can to manage with naps. Also, just the simple fact that you're aware that this uptick in stress and effort needs to be managed is a good thing. Sometimes we burn out before we even know what hit us!

Thinking of you.

[Lulu54]

I hope you are able to rest after making this trip - it sounds you will be needed to go again. by car should be less grueling.  take care, Laura

[Guitar_grrrl]

Thanks for the warm thoughts, everybody.  I've been running around taking care of him, but also napping while he naps (which is a lot!).  I return home tomorrow, and will keep in close touch with him. I may be coming down here a lot in the next few weeks.  My daughter has promised to drive me next time.  :-D

[mikeysmom1995]

So sorry to hear about your dad. I will keep you in my prayers.  Kudos to you for showing yourself some kindness. So well deserved but so hard to do sometimes.
Regards, barb

[HVAC]

Sorry to hear about your father. I am reading more these days and working on training Grady the service hound.

Alex

[Corriel]

Hi there, I am so sorry to hear about your dad and applaud you for asking for help when you feel you need to.

I recently shared the Spoon Theory with folks at work and the positive response I received was heartwarming. Someone even gifted me with a lovely glass full of colored plastic spoons so I can "show" my energy levels throughout the day.

I am also trying to reinforce my boundaries and not just doing things because I think I should.

The world isfull of understanding and helpful people, we just need to tell/ask.

My new mantra is if I would be willing to a certain thing for someone with MS, then I should be comfortable enough to ask. Those who love and support us want to feel useful to us. We need to let them.

Corrie

[karryon55]

I'm very sorry to hear about your dad. I hope your body copes with all that travelling. It is a big step to ask for help if your not used to it. I went through this about 10 years ago & because I kept things from people they had no idea how much I had struggled to do simple things like wash my hair.

I think you are right in that people are generally kind when you ask for assistance. Take care of yourself during the long trek & keep resting as often as you are able.

Hugs,
Karry.

[Lulu54]

Grrrrrl, that is so sad you are making this journey and I hope you have the oportunity to make a few lasting meories to keep with you.  The trek sounds lengthy and I am so happy to read you are being kind to yourself.

Asking for assistance/letting others help can be difficult.   I continue to push, thinking someday perhaps I will require that help and I don't want to use it all up now.  Silly, huh?    

Traveling always takes it out of me, even before MS.  It is exhausting and now when I trek, I plan ahead, make sure I don't have to rush anywhere, and always ask for assistance in advance.  

safe journeys and savor your  time, hugs and more,  Laura

[JaneK1975]

I am so sorry to hear about your father. It's good to hear you are trying to fit some rest unto your travels, but I know travel is exhausting no matter how much "rest" one fits in. I probably never mentioned that I grew up in a town called Lake Isabella, which is located an hour east of Bakersfield. Traveling from Mountain View all the way to the Central Valley is a *very* long trek, Guitar Grrrl, especially vía public transpo. Please take care. My thoughts will be with you.

Best,
Jane

[Dagun]

I´m sorry about your father, this must be so difficult, to have to travel so far because of this sad situation (sorry my English is not good enough).

But I like that you are saving your energy, it is great that you have learned your limits. I hope I will be that wise to know when I have to do that. I´m always one of the "pushing myself to hard" type. Always think that I´m quicker if I do it myself. Should work on that..

I wish you a nice trip and hope you get to spend some quality time with your father.

My best to you,
Dagun