Anybody up for a PEP talk?

[wingnut19]

OK, please bear with me for a minute while I post this.....
I talked to my Neuro's secretary and I have an appointment on Monday.....I have no idea why, but out of the blue I guess EVERYTHING is sinking in.....I know a lot of you awesome people have sent me private messages asking how I'm dealing with the "ER doctors diagnosis" of MS and I've remained 'mute' about it, (not trying to be rude, just trying to absorb.)  Plus, I'm much better at helping others than myself....
I seriously don't think I'm afraid of the Neuro confirming the ER doc's diagnosis, but I'm terrified of the opposite~!!   I should still keep the appointment on May 14 at the MS Clinic, right??
Where in the HELL did this uncertainty come from all of a sudden??  GEEZ!!
Tammy

[wingnut19]

LOLOLOLOL....It's ok, punkin'....I feel your pain.....I forget who said it, but its "Cog-n-Fog".....it happens to the best of us....
Truth be told, I'm actually amazed that I can even carry on any conversation most days....

And yes, there are 6 time zones here.....You want me to name them??  LMAO!

Tam

[smittygirl]

I am soooooooooooo shot!   I read your post too quick I guess and took MS Clinic for Mayo Clinic!!   I thought, I had no idea the Mayo was in Canada!   I swear I'm actually a very bright woman!   Does Canada have 6 times zones?

[wingnut19]

Hey Sue....

I emailed you back already.....hehe.  Pretty quick, huh?

I thank you for saying that you'd go with me...that's sweet!  My appt is at 11:30 on Monday.....There's no time difference between us at all.....


Tam

[smittygirl]

If I was there I'd go with you in a heartbeat!  I'll be with you in spirit just like you were there for me today.  Sent you an e mail, tried to keep it short but didnt happen.  What time is your appt and what is the time difference between us?

[wingnut19]

Sue:

The closer Monday gets, the more freaked out I get..........I asked Quix to come with me.....LOL

Tam

[smittygirl]

Keep the appt. Tammy. I'll e you with my story but I was finally dx with my Reactive Arthritis and went to the Mayo anyway.  It reinforced what I already knew and made me feel like I wasn't crazy.   Like everyone else here I dont want to have MS but I was disappointed when the doc told me today that his part of the test was normal.  If everything comes back that way then what the heck is wrong with me...  I know a lot of people have talked about this.....  And so we wait...

[young at heart]

PLEASE KEEP YOUR APPOINTMENTS WITH THE MS SPECIALIST.THE KNOWLEDGE THESE SPECIALIST HAVE IS OVER WHELMING.

I HAVE MS AND ANOTHER INCURABLE NERVE DISEASE,ITS ALL LIVEABLE AND MANAGEABLE THROUGH THE PROPER SPECIALIST AND TREATMENTS.

BOTH HAVE SLOWED ME DOWN IN THE LAST 6 MONTHS,BUT I PLAN ON SPEEDING UP NOW.

TO BOTH OF YOU,GOODLUCK WITH YOUR APPOINTMENTS.

T-LYNN

[wingnut19]

Yes, I will definitely keep that appointment, unless the Neuro on Monday gets off the fence and agrees with the other doc's about this....

Or should I still go anyway?

Tammy

[sllowe]

Your keeping that appt. right???? Hope so.

Thinking you will be able to get a feel for how the clinic environment is.  I've read recently about how some MSers feel taken care of well at them do to the variety of services many of them offer.  

I have no experience myself w/them, but would be willing to check one out for that purpose.  You can do this,
SL

[wingnut19]

Huh, what?  

(that has got to be the shortest post I've ever seen you do, Momma Quix)

:)

[Quixotic1]

Huh?

[wingnut19]

OOPS...you weren't even talking to me......sorry 'bout that.....

[wingnut19]

Thanks  :)

Good luck on your appointment....I hope it goes well for you....

Tammy

[jensequitur]

Gawd, that happens to me all the time - I go grocery shopping, remember I need a bag of potatoes, buy it and take it home - and see that there's a nice new bag of potatoes already in the fridge from the last time I went shopping.  It's gotten to the point where I have to make a list and follow it, because my memory's like swiss cheese.

[nanadee]

Boy, do I know what that feels like!! I was diagnosised 4yrs ago & I still think they may come back & say Opps, we were wrong, it's not MS. No such luck. But, on the other hand at least I know what is wrong!! Like misplacing the candy, I do that kind of thing so often I just laugh & say Oh well having an MS moment. Knowing is a relief in away , but then there are times I still wish I didn't.
I myself have an appointment May 15th at Southwestern Medical Center where some of the Top mS dors practice. I'm excited & scared all at the same time. Crazy huh??
Hang in there , I'll be thinking about you!
:-)

[wingnut19]

LOL

[LATW]

My emotions have been all over the place with this too.  The most difficult part for me has been accepting that I am not able to do as much as I used to for a reason.

And that will probably not change.  No more spotless house.  It takes all I have to keep my kids clean and fed.  

I used to decorate the house from top to bottom for Christmas.  The past two years I have been happy to have wrapped gifts under the tree!  

This year I bougth Easter candy for their baskets.  Totally forgot where I put the bag.  I had my husband go out and by more candy for all 7 kids.  

Of course I finally found the first bag! Oh well.  The kids were happy with double the candy!!

LA

[wingnut19]

Thanks for all that, but I'm not even there yet.....I am afraid that the diagnosis will be TAKEN from me...like LA said earlier, I don't want to go back on that roller coaster ride!

I have been through my share of the grieving process in my life,(lost best friend, brother and father all within 4 years of each other)-- and it would actually be EASIER to deal with than the uncertainty....

I will keep this post, however, for when I need reminding of the stages.....I does help...
:)
Tammy

[jensequitur]

And don't forget the classic stages of grief, which this qualifies as...

Denial: "It can't be happening."
Anger: "Why me? It's not fair."
Bargaining: "Just let me live to see my children graduate."
Depression: "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"
Acceptance: "It's going to be OK."

I zoomed straight from anger into acceptance, and then back into anger, and then to bargaining... except I didn't have anybody to bargain with!  Then back to acceptance, then back to denial...  Right now I'm back in acceptance, but I'm sure that will change.

[jensequitur]

I was relieved by my diagnosis, because I was sure I was gonna die!  I had no idea what was wrong with me, but it was something unlike anything I'd ever experienced, and I knew it was something wrong with my brain.  I figured I had a tumor or something.

MS isn't the end of the world.  Despite what popular television shows will tell you, you aren't going to drop dead from MS.  It's just extremely inconvenient!  Quality of life is affected, and you won't get to do as much stuff as you planned on doing.  It will help if you start prioritizing your life, and plan on what you want to achieve.  It gave me a forward direction - instead of feeling sorry for myself!

[wingnut19]

LA----Roller Coaster is the perfect description for it!  NO way do I want to be on that again!   Ferris wheel.......ok...

CZ--Thanks for your thoughts and advice.....and especially prayers....I appreciate them so very much.....

[cz1970]

Your emotions are so normal.  Vascilating between relief, fear, anger, fear is totally normal. Knowing something in your gut is one thing but then to have a Dr actually say it to you outloud is so powerful.  Your whole world shakes. Absolutely keep your appt at the MS clinic on the 14th.  The neuro appt on Monday will be ok. You cant control tomorrow so just deal with today. The evidence looks pretty solid in your case so no worries.  You are about to finally get some help and move to the next level.  It's going to be ok. Just hang in there... we're praying for you sister!  Stand strong

cz

[LATW]

Oh, I KNOW everyone understands you do not want MS. That goes without saying.  You just want an answer, just like me and every body else here.  

This dx has changed a lot of things in my life.  These are changes that needed to be made, but they are difficult.  Nothing bad, but it has changed my future.

I just do NOT want to get back on the roller coaster.  As crummy as the weekly injections are they are not nearly as bad as knowing there is something wrong and not knowing what it is.  

I had too many times of wondering how many more years I would live because my body seemed to be going down hill.  I often wondered if I had cancer in my brain or something!! YIKES.  I do not want to go back there.

La

LA

[wingnut19]

As wrong as this sounds, it's nice to know I'm not alone, but I'd rather NONE of us have to go through this......I guess I should state one thing clearly, Obviously, I do NOT want MS, but I think in my heart I know its true....(unfortunately)
I could be wrong...it has happened a few million times.... ;)

Hopefully you and I will have a NON confusing week next week.....I can hope, right?