Marrying someone with MS?

[Fifa]

I recently met a man who told me has MS. We're now having a romantic relationship and he's hoping it would lead to marriage. His condition is progressive and has been stable for the past 12 years. My parents are not for this relationship with this guy, though I like him a lot, because they think it's a 'way to hell'.

I would like some advice and would like to know if people with progressive MS can have a normal life? and how dangerous can it be if thinking of having children? etc.

[MonkeyMom4]

Here is another way to look at it.

Let's say the two of you got married a long time ago, not knowing he had MS. Then 5 years into the marriage he was diagnosed with MS. Would you divorce him then? Would it change how you looked at him or how you felt about him?

Let's say then that you were the one with diagnosed with MS five years into your marriage. Do you think he would stick by you through sickness and health?

There are no promises in this world or in marriage. I figure ALL couples will go through their health problems throughout their marriage whether it be MS, cancer, mental health issues, heart attacks, broken bones, migrains, or even PMS =D

Marry him because you can't imagine your life with out him. As well as educating yourself, which is wonderful, you might want to start educating your parents as well.

Best wishes to you and your boyfriend. I wish you two a long life filled with laughter and happiness.

-Kelly

[PastorDan]

I sure hope that this URL comes through for everyone.

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/marriage_challenges/special-needs-and-marriage.aspx

The most poignant comment I read in this thread was from Auspiciousme, "You could marry a perfectly healthy man and he could have an accident 3 months down the road and be disabled....what then?"

Marriage is a huge step for anyone.  Interjecting a disease, whether it is MS, Alzheimer's, cancer, or acne, simply adds another wrinkle to a very complex tapestry that few consider as carefully and thoroughly as they should before making a decision that will alter the course of the rest of their life and the lives of multiple others.

Anyone considering marriage should seek the aid of an experienced and trained premarital counselor.  Medical issues are a biggie, but they're far from the only one.

Just one man's opinion, FWIW.

(P.S.: Anybody know what Fifa did?  I see it's been nearly two years.)

[rolom]

dont do it....
there are so many hidden ways that this will effect you...
No him......YOU!
i am in this situation and i feel so so trapped....
Please listen to me...

[jan324]

I'm in the same situation. I have dated a guy for over 2 years. He told me a 2 week ago that he has ms, saying that he didn’t tell me before as he thought he would lose me. I don’t know what to do. I'm scared that if I stay with him and he falls very sick and ends up with lots of disabilities and is in a wheel chair I won’t be capable of looking after him? Do right by him?. At the moment he is 30 and seems healthy. This might make me sound bad but I have an aunt who has a husband in a wheel chair, and the strain is making her bitter towards her husband.She never has time to her self. Is this the same with MS. He also told me that had optic neuritis which reduces the ms attacks. Is this true? Please help me, I’m scared I don’t no what to expect. I didn’t even know what ms was till last week.

[Fifa]

Thanks all for your comments.

I am getting more information everyday on his MS as I am getting to know him better as a person.

To be honest, if MS wasn't there, I wouldn't think twice about this man. He's just perfectly what I am looking for...

In terms of the disease, it's just to be prepared to what could potentially happen to him and also to educate my folks about it as they're totally against this relationship, which makes it extremely difficult for me.

Thanks.

[mackemuk]

Hello Fifa,
I Know You Don't Want To Read This But My Thinking Is That This Gentlemen Is Not Being Entirely Straight With You, In Your First Post You State That He Has Been Stable For 12 Years Then In Your 2nd Post You State That He Has Short-term Memory Loss And Fatigue, You Then Go On To Say In Your Third Post That At Times He Struggles Getting His Words Out And That He Has Problems With His Mobility.
What I Would Do If I Were You Is Have A Good Heart To Heart With This Man And Tell Him To Lay All His Cards On The Table Regarding This Progressive Form Of MS For Example What Problems Does He Really Have. It Is Unfair On You To Have A Relationship Where You Get Info On A Drip-Drip Basis.
I Can Totally Understand Your Mother's Concern, She Is Only Doing What A Loving And Caring Mother Would Do.
And If You Are Honest With Yourself You Would Be Exactly The Same.
I Am Sorry If This Post Sounds Harsh But I Am Someone A Male, Who Has Primary Progressive MS And I Have Been Getting Steadly Worse Since 1995 And I Was Only Diagnosed In May Of This Year After 2 Years Of Testing.
Take Care Of Yourself Fifa.
Regards Joe.