More symptoms forgot about plus real depression

[Merciey]

My big toe hurts off and one, my fingers tingle, and tingling goes on all over at times. I grind my teeth from the anxiety, and want to sleep all the time. I look pale and feel worse. The difficult part is that even with a true DX I know no much will help. I never thought I'd live life like this and most people don't understand and blame me for being lazy or causing it myself.........me too ...I blame myself too even though I know better, I still do.

[Merciey]

Thanks Shell, and yes I see a Psychiatrist for the bad depression that never seems to lift, except when I run with the dogs - for some reason that really helps, maybe helps me forget and I concentrate on the task at hand. To be out with the dogs requires pain meds but it is worth it.

[sllowe]

So much has been said already.  Mercy, I just want to add on and to not blame yourself for MS, okay?

Are you under the care of a Dr.? One that can treat the depression 1st? It's very common with MSers, especially if you are on an interferon.  

Want you to know that there are things out there for us MSers. Just have to take one thing at a time.  Perhaps we can help you with your next steps.  Get some of you back.

Here for you,
shell

[Merciey]

Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. I do my best to give back to the world and use my dogs, this year, to find drowning victims - a sad task for all. Being too consumed with our own pain only makes it worse. Thank you for the reminder. I can't imagine pain so bad it breaks bones - that does make my world rather small in comparison.

[wadeheather]

Great Post!  I have a similar philosophy in my work world, but don't often feel like it is appreciated.  I totally agree with everything you said!

I've actually been trying to teach (or coach) my boss in learning to walk and breathe at the same time.  Sounds simple.  But if you are a perfectionist or control freak it is the hardest thing in the world. It took me years to really grasp the concept, but I like myself much better now. I think that it especially relates to those of us in limbo. You can only do what you can do and go from there.

Thanks for the inspiration!
Be well.  Do what you love, love what you do!
Heather

[Heather3418]

Welcome back to the MS Forum, as I read that you posted about two years about ability to care for your dogs.  Spastic Girl (Ada) is a true animal lover, so she was a great person to answer your question.

Now Merciey, none of us know what life holds in store for us, no matter what disease we may get along the journey.  We all have to learn to live with the hand we are dealt and squeeze all the living we possibly can, in every day that we are given.

I always try to remember those people that have it much worse than me and managed to smile and bring happiness into someone else's life, despite how they suffer in their own lives.  My mother always used to tell me, that there is no quicker way to get your mind off yourself and your own troubles, than to go do something for someone else.  As a child she would take me along on her visits to nursing homes, to show me what a difference it made in so many people's lives, just to have a visitor walk through their door.  People whose families rarely visited or some people with no one to visit them.  It taught me alot about giving to others and not focusing on myself.

I know that you are bother by the "tingles and anxiety."  I've been there myself.  I confronted terrible anxiety and panic attacks for over 20 years.  I DO know what you are talking about.  Thankfully, I learned that getting rid of the "fear" of anxiety, my life started to turn around and suddenly the panic was gone.  The fear of dying while I was having a panic attack, actually made the attack worse.  It took good therapy and alot of re-training in my mind, before the anxiety no longer controlled my life.

Most of us that post on this Forum, know all too well what pain is like.  We have one member who has spasms so strongly that it actually has broken some of her bones.  Merciey, that is a kind of pain that most of us could never imagine.  But dearheart, this woman makes it a goal in her life, to give to others and cheer others on.  She spends alot of her time, encouraging others that we can make it through some pretty tough times.  She chooses to use her energy to make sure she gives to others.  She said it makes her feel better about herself and gives her something else to do, than dwell on her pain.

I never want to minimize anyone's pain or what they endure.  I am sorry that anyone has to deal with pain, whether it's a constant 24/7 a day thing, or it's every now and then.  That is one of the reason's that this Forum exists and thrives.  It's all those people who give of themselves to help others.  They say that contributing to others, gives them purpose.  It makes them feel better about themselves and sometimes, just for a moment; makes them lessen their pain.

If you ever get a diagnosis of MS, I can promise you that it will not be the end of the world.  As with everything in life, you will adjust to your diagnosis and hopefully find comfort from the hundreds of people here on this Forum, that really DO understand what you face.  This Forum is filled with, "Angels with Invisible Wings."  

When you are here, you are NEVER alone...

Best Wishes,
Heather