Aa
Nightmare of role reversal
Up until now my husband who is now retired has been the person that empties the trash, changes lightbulbs, gets me coffee in the morning (actually afternoon) when I get up - just to get me going. I use a walker or electric chair half of the time I am up. He doesn't always do it with good grace, but he does it. You just have to be careful what you say! At one time I had a small tantrum and said "you're lucky it doesn't happen to you because then you would know what it feels like to be helpless and depend on someone else".... Well, someone heard me apparently although I would not wish anything on anyone else, believe me.
To clue you in, 5 weeks ago he was dxed with diabetes Type 12 and has to do his blood sugar 2X daily and follow a different diet from the one that got him to this point. Needless to say, I might as well have been dxed with diabetes on top of my MS because I'm the one who tests him, records it and makes his meals (nothing fancy).
Anyhow, 10 days ago he said he had a pain in his left leg and needed to lay on the couch, not the lazyboy, as it hurt to get up. He stayed on the couch day and night (no kidding) for the next 10 days getting up only to go to the bathroom using MY walker. He got weaker and weaker and could not even sit up or push himself up on the couch. It was heartbreaking to see him go downhill in 10 days. I was in tears. He is normally very strong and I couldn't think what it could be. Never been sick or in the hospital. I could not lift him although I tried. I wanted to call 911 but he dared me not to do it with looks that could kill and said he wouldn't go even if I called.. He kept saying wait until tomorrow. I was testing his blood, bringing him food but he was eating very little, drinks, water, meds, clean clothes - in fact I never stopped and I felt so ill and hurt all over but this was my love who was now hurting and sick and I had nobody to turn to so I had to do it. I don't know where I got the strength really, but it just goes to show that the old adrenalin was pumping. I was also very frightened to think if it was permanent or a downhill thing then that was really the end for both of us as far as living on our own. Stress and tiredness is not the word. I just collapsed in bed, couldn't sleep in case he needed something and dreaded getting up, getting to the kitchen holding onto walls so I could go through it all again. I haven't been able to sleep, eat or think properly. Finally I had had enough, he wasn't getting any better so I called his doctor who said "no ifs ands or buts and no negotiations" he was to go in the ambulance to the hosital and he actually called the ambulance which let me off the hook.
He is in the hospital right now after being 9 hours on a guerney before getting a bed (welcome to my world).After tests etc. yesterday they ruled out dvt or stroke. The hospital doctor says he can't believe how weak his muscles are and how shaky he is but he is almost 100% positive it is the statins he is taking. He called our doctor and said they needed to change everything. They took him off all his meds and said this is definitely not the diabetes. He had been taking Benicar for bp, Lipitor (statin) for cholesterol, Januvet for diabetes and had just added Niaspan, another statin. Apparently statins can cause all these symptoms and also can harm your liver and kidneys.. I looked up side effects of statins and was horrified by peoples' experiences. I keep asking myself why didn't my husband realize this? He is a (retired) pharnacist. Between him and the doctor I don't know who is worse.
This has really made me realize how vulnerable I am and how little I can do. I feel trapped really. For the first time in 3 years I walked down the driveway scared to death at 4:30 in the morning so nobody would see me, with the walker of course (and very, very slowly) to get the mail and the paper. I even tied the garbage to the walker and left it at the curb. Couldn't figure out how to get the garbage can down there. So while he is in the hospital, that is my plan. My neighbor got us some bread, milk and eggs and then left on vacation for the week. I don't drive any more so this will have to do until next weekend. But where there's a will there's a way I guess. This all made me think of grannyhotwheels and her husband being sick - you just get through it somehow.
You can tell I am sleep deprived by this long post..Sorry If it is boring but it has helped me get my thoughts together :)
Marcie
To clue you in, 5 weeks ago he was dxed with diabetes Type 12 and has to do his blood sugar 2X daily and follow a different diet from the one that got him to this point. Needless to say, I might as well have been dxed with diabetes on top of my MS because I'm the one who tests him, records it and makes his meals (nothing fancy).
Anyhow, 10 days ago he said he had a pain in his left leg and needed to lay on the couch, not the lazyboy, as it hurt to get up. He stayed on the couch day and night (no kidding) for the next 10 days getting up only to go to the bathroom using MY walker. He got weaker and weaker and could not even sit up or push himself up on the couch. It was heartbreaking to see him go downhill in 10 days. I was in tears. He is normally very strong and I couldn't think what it could be. Never been sick or in the hospital. I could not lift him although I tried. I wanted to call 911 but he dared me not to do it with looks that could kill and said he wouldn't go even if I called.. He kept saying wait until tomorrow. I was testing his blood, bringing him food but he was eating very little, drinks, water, meds, clean clothes - in fact I never stopped and I felt so ill and hurt all over but this was my love who was now hurting and sick and I had nobody to turn to so I had to do it. I don't know where I got the strength really, but it just goes to show that the old adrenalin was pumping. I was also very frightened to think if it was permanent or a downhill thing then that was really the end for both of us as far as living on our own. Stress and tiredness is not the word. I just collapsed in bed, couldn't sleep in case he needed something and dreaded getting up, getting to the kitchen holding onto walls so I could go through it all again. I haven't been able to sleep, eat or think properly. Finally I had had enough, he wasn't getting any better so I called his doctor who said "no ifs ands or buts and no negotiations" he was to go in the ambulance to the hosital and he actually called the ambulance which let me off the hook.
He is in the hospital right now after being 9 hours on a guerney before getting a bed (welcome to my world).After tests etc. yesterday they ruled out dvt or stroke. The hospital doctor says he can't believe how weak his muscles are and how shaky he is but he is almost 100% positive it is the statins he is taking. He called our doctor and said they needed to change everything. They took him off all his meds and said this is definitely not the diabetes. He had been taking Benicar for bp, Lipitor (statin) for cholesterol, Januvet for diabetes and had just added Niaspan, another statin. Apparently statins can cause all these symptoms and also can harm your liver and kidneys.. I looked up side effects of statins and was horrified by peoples' experiences. I keep asking myself why didn't my husband realize this? He is a (retired) pharnacist. Between him and the doctor I don't know who is worse.
This has really made me realize how vulnerable I am and how little I can do. I feel trapped really. For the first time in 3 years I walked down the driveway scared to death at 4:30 in the morning so nobody would see me, with the walker of course (and very, very slowly) to get the mail and the paper. I even tied the garbage to the walker and left it at the curb. Couldn't figure out how to get the garbage can down there. So while he is in the hospital, that is my plan. My neighbor got us some bread, milk and eggs and then left on vacation for the week. I don't drive any more so this will have to do until next weekend. But where there's a will there's a way I guess. This all made me think of grannyhotwheels and her husband being sick - you just get through it somehow.
You can tell I am sleep deprived by this long post..Sorry If it is boring but it has helped me get my thoughts together :)
Marcie
Update:
Thanks for all your posts. He is still in the hospital. Still very weak, needing assistance to walk, etc. He apparently had or has a (staph) infection and being treated by 2 Drs, one for Infectious diseases??? and the other for the statins thing. He is on IV antibiotics and when he is released he will have to have a nurse come in every day for 2 weeks to administer the IV. Also he is going down for heart testing. Not sure what that is about - he is still not very communicative and said he had a bad day today. This will be 5th day in hospital.
Bit worried about infection and him coming home. I just hope it will not be infectious by then.
Marcie
Thanks for all your posts. He is still in the hospital. Still very weak, needing assistance to walk, etc. He apparently had or has a (staph) infection and being treated by 2 Drs, one for Infectious diseases??? and the other for the statins thing. He is on IV antibiotics and when he is released he will have to have a nurse come in every day for 2 weeks to administer the IV. Also he is going down for heart testing. Not sure what that is about - he is still not very communicative and said he had a bad day today. This will be 5th day in hospital.
Bit worried about infection and him coming home. I just hope it will not be infectious by then.
Marcie
My heart goes out to you and your hubby!
I've been working in the world of cardiology for 29 years, and if I were ever asked to take a statin or any of it's combo forms, I would just flat out refuse! Those things are dangerous!
About 5 years ago I was tired of being chubby and went on Weight Watchers and lost 40 lbs. I also lost about 80 units on my total cholesterol score! I now live on fresh veggies, whole fruit, fish, and WHOLE grains, and a little bit of meat now and then, . White sugar, white flour and packaged, pre-prepared foods no longer fit in my world. I firmly believe we need to eat well to take care of ourselves. I highly recommend Michael Pollan's _In Defense of Food_. A fun, but scary read, but DM2, Insulin resistance, high cholesterol and obesity have everything to do with what we consume.
I'm thinking good thoughts for his and your strength and feeling better.
Cheers,
Guitar_grrrl
I've been working in the world of cardiology for 29 years, and if I were ever asked to take a statin or any of it's combo forms, I would just flat out refuse! Those things are dangerous!
About 5 years ago I was tired of being chubby and went on Weight Watchers and lost 40 lbs. I also lost about 80 units on my total cholesterol score! I now live on fresh veggies, whole fruit, fish, and WHOLE grains, and a little bit of meat now and then, . White sugar, white flour and packaged, pre-prepared foods no longer fit in my world. I firmly believe we need to eat well to take care of ourselves. I highly recommend Michael Pollan's _In Defense of Food_. A fun, but scary read, but DM2, Insulin resistance, high cholesterol and obesity have everything to do with what we consume.
I'm thinking good thoughts for his and your strength and feeling better.
Cheers,
Guitar_grrrl
Hi, Marcie. So many here can identify with you (which has to be the whole point of health forums anyway!).
Lots of times the people who are supposed to be the most knowledgeable are also those most in denial. A doctor I otherwise admire a lot absolutely neglected his own health and never got check-ups, though he would not admit that to most people. He wouldn't exercise and put on quite a lot of weight, despite his own father's problems with heart disease. And this is one of the brightest folks I know. He's okay, but not great, at the moment.
There comes the time in most of our lives where role-reversal takes place. This is often with our parents but can be with anyone close. It can be hard to take over the reins, but take over we must. Just be firm with your husband, and follow your own good instincts no matter what he says. The only good part of this for you is that it happened when it was still quite treatable, and from now on you're in charge.
Hang in there.
ess
Lots of times the people who are supposed to be the most knowledgeable are also those most in denial. A doctor I otherwise admire a lot absolutely neglected his own health and never got check-ups, though he would not admit that to most people. He wouldn't exercise and put on quite a lot of weight, despite his own father's problems with heart disease. And this is one of the brightest folks I know. He's okay, but not great, at the moment.
There comes the time in most of our lives where role-reversal takes place. This is often with our parents but can be with anyone close. It can be hard to take over the reins, but take over we must. Just be firm with your husband, and follow your own good instincts no matter what he says. The only good part of this for you is that it happened when it was still quite treatable, and from now on you're in charge.
Hang in there.
ess
I really feel for you and your husband but how great you discovered the bad effects of statin drugs in time. I hope you can get some help for yourself and I agree with LLWB...your story is certainly not boring. There's a lot of good, helpful advice in these letters to you and your letter has helped us understand those drugs a bit better. Take good care of yourself, hugs, Charley
Your story is not boring! How dare you say that! You are reaching out with your story and your husbands' story in the hope it can help others who read it. And also for support, both emotional and for help. All of the above posts have excellent suggestions. We know health agencies are overwhelmed right now with all the suffering both physical, emotional, and mental due to the economy. When my mom was sick in the hospital, the hospital social person helped set my dad up with meals-on-wheels, and even offered to find rides to the store to shop or the hospital so he could visit. They are a wonderful resource. M-O-W will also deliver after your husband comes home, for both of you. A lot of Senior Centers have a van or bus that will pick you up at your house and take you where you need to go. Shopping, dr, to the hospital. And usually very low cost or free. I know you are exhausted right now, but when you are rested, please look into these resources.
Isn't it amazing that when someone who has never been sick gets sick, they suddenly are the "sickest person in the world" and need more waiting on and hand holding, than someone who has been sick before or continually with a chronic disease. Being a person with chronic conditions, I know I try not to ask for much help, if I can possible do it myself. Having had one once myself, I know husbands can be big babies, LOL.
hugs & prayers
Maggie
Isn't it amazing that when someone who has never been sick gets sick, they suddenly are the "sickest person in the world" and need more waiting on and hand holding, than someone who has been sick before or continually with a chronic disease. Being a person with chronic conditions, I know I try not to ask for much help, if I can possible do it myself. Having had one once myself, I know husbands can be big babies, LOL.
hugs & prayers
Maggie
My heart really goes out to you too, I also had a very bad reaction to Statins but I realised it sooner. However, I had the same experience with Tagamet for an undx stomach ulcer (same year I first had ON) it turned out to be IBS that was some 20 years ago. I was very poorly too and the medics feared for my liver and kidneys. I made a full recovery but it took some time, I suffered a lot of pain too.
There is a forum of medics on the web who are fighting against the trend to perscribe stains to everyone. After my bad experience with them I read Dr. Malcolm Kendricks book The Great Cholestrol Con. It is a very scary book about drug company profits, ghost writing of medical papersand funding of reserch. I won't go into details just google both of the above.
Statins are one of my pet hates they cause more than they cure (you might have noticed). Just take care of yourself for now too, you need to preserve your strength too. You must be angry at the medics also but it's not worth the energy!
Sending cyber hugs across the sea I really feel for you.
Love
Pat
x
There is a forum of medics on the web who are fighting against the trend to perscribe stains to everyone. After my bad experience with them I read Dr. Malcolm Kendricks book The Great Cholestrol Con. It is a very scary book about drug company profits, ghost writing of medical papersand funding of reserch. I won't go into details just google both of the above.
Statins are one of my pet hates they cause more than they cure (you might have noticed). Just take care of yourself for now too, you need to preserve your strength too. You must be angry at the medics also but it's not worth the energy!
Sending cyber hugs across the sea I really feel for you.
Love
Pat
x
Dear Marcie. This has been a difficult time for you both. I pray for your husbands speedy recovery and for things to get back to normal. Catch up on your sleep and take good care, okay?
Do you have a Meals On Wheels program in your area? Please reach out to the churches or other organizations that can help you with your situation. Call a city or county social worker. The hospital social worker probably knows what is available in your area and could prove be be of great value for you now, and for when your hubby comes home. You will probably be surprised at how much help can become available, you just have to ask for it.
Just FYI: I read a while back that the statin drugs were in clinical trials for the treatment of MS. What a load of hooey! The drug manufacturers are looking for a new "home" for these dangerous drugs.
Do you have a Meals On Wheels program in your area? Please reach out to the churches or other organizations that can help you with your situation. Call a city or county social worker. The hospital social worker probably knows what is available in your area and could prove be be of great value for you now, and for when your hubby comes home. You will probably be surprised at how much help can become available, you just have to ask for it.
Just FYI: I read a while back that the statin drugs were in clinical trials for the treatment of MS. What a load of hooey! The drug manufacturers are looking for a new "home" for these dangerous drugs.
I read your post and could tell how much "pain' you are enduring during this difficult time. I am so sorry that you are placed in this predicament but you have shown to be resourceful and have found a way to deal with this challenge. I do hope your husband rebounds quickly. You must certainly be beyond tired.
Please know that we are all here for support. Lulu had a great suggestion regarding local resource in your community.
Hugs,
Ren
Please know that we are all here for support. Lulu had a great suggestion regarding local resource in your community.
Hugs,
Ren
Thank you, Michelle. Even being on the computer helps - this house is so quiet and empty.
Marcie
Marcie
Dear siddy,
I am in the same ranks as your husband about taking a statin- but I realized the problem in about 6 weeks of being on this toxic drup. The lipitor made me feel like I had the flu and I continued to go downhill until I stopped it. The improvement in my condition was almost immediate once I went off this pill.
While your husband recovers, please look for some local resource assistance to help you with the basics of shopping, transportations and all the other things we need to do regularly.
Please keep us posted on your condition and his progress,
Lulu
I am in the same ranks as your husband about taking a statin- but I realized the problem in about 6 weeks of being on this toxic drup. The lipitor made me feel like I had the flu and I continued to go downhill until I stopped it. The improvement in my condition was almost immediate once I went off this pill.
While your husband recovers, please look for some local resource assistance to help you with the basics of shopping, transportations and all the other things we need to do regularly.
Please keep us posted on your condition and his progress,
Lulu
My heart breaks for you. I can "feel" your pain, and I am so sorry. I hope your husband will start to get better, with changing the meds. I am glad you called the ambulance, sounds like he needed to be seen and quick.
My mother was in the same "boat" as you. My dad was her primary caregiver and my siblings and I often thought, that we hoped nothing would ever happen to my dad. Didn't know what my mom would do, although there are 3 of us and we would all help out. I know my mom also thought this pretty often, and it was really difficult for her. Lots and lots of stress with those circumstances.
I don't have to much to add, just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and wishing you well.
Warmly,
Michelle
My mother was in the same "boat" as you. My dad was her primary caregiver and my siblings and I often thought, that we hoped nothing would ever happen to my dad. Didn't know what my mom would do, although there are 3 of us and we would all help out. I know my mom also thought this pretty often, and it was really difficult for her. Lots and lots of stress with those circumstances.
I don't have to much to add, just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and wishing you well.
Warmly,
Michelle
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