Stressed!!

[LATW]

I was supposed to go to my MS doctor for an MRI this Monday but the appointment had to be changed.  

I get so worried when it is time for an MRI.  I worry about what they might find.  What if my MRI is clean and they take my dx away?  That means I am a nut or I am going to have to go through other tests to find something else.

I was dx'd 20 months ago and have been on Avonex and now Betaseron.  

I for sure have MS issues.  Optic Neuritis twice...at least.  I think I just had another bout recently.

Why do I torture myself like this?  Do other people do this?  It is not that I question if something is wrong.  Something IS wrong but I didn't have the "normal" lesions.  Of course Quix didn't either so that does give me some peace in a strange way.  

I am frustrated I am having another MRI on a 1.5 but was told by my MS doctor that a MRI that is taken in a center takes better pictures than an MRI that travels.  I was told the same thing by my first MS doctor even though he did use that MRI to help diagnose me.

So anyway I am just stressed.  

LA

[LATW]

Well I have a daughter getting married the Saturday before my appointment so that is helping.  Plus I have a brand new grand daughter! She will be 2 weeks tomorrow.  

I am diagnosed.  Was dx'd 20 months ago based on two episodes of ON in one year, abnormal MRI, and abnormal neuro exam.  I have progressed since.

I just have this silly fear of what they will, or WON"T, find on the MRI.  

I have some very definite neurological MS symptoms so I am sure I am just being goofy.

It is just the fear of being told I am nuts.  But that would not be true because I just had a psychiatrist test me and tell me I am SANE!  ;-)  

LA

[slightlybroken]

I can relate as well. I'm always hoping that they will find something on the MRIs to explain my symptoms. Anything that could point to a DX of some sort. Pretty morbid Huh? It's not that I want something..I just know something is wrong and there has to be some kind of evidence. Me..I have those nonspecific lesions that some doctors say are something, while others say are nothing.

My last MRI of the brain was on a mobile MRI and I wondered if there was a difference in picture quality and strength. I've had so many bad MRI pics because of low strength (my first MRI was an open 0.7T) or just bad quality pictures. I get myself so stress about it when it's time to get new ones done. I'm worried if they are going to be good or not.

I know it hard to do..but don't stress too much.

[Udkas]

I can relate to your confusion and stress for the MRI.  I go through the same feelings every time I have one.  I found for me this is not only limited to MRI.  Like on Thursday I am having tests done, if they show nothing I will wonder if I am just a nut job, or is it neurological, or is it this or is it that.  I think when we have symptoms that are not so "clear cut" in origin (the neurological type) it can make us feel like we are crazy, although we are most likely not!

I imagine if you are diagnosed it would be unlikely that they would take the diagnosis off you as they don't make the diagnosis lightly but yep it has happened.  I feel a bit intimidated when walking in to the neuro office but my current neuro makes me feel welcome and on the same level as him.  I guess the main thing is to use the same strength MRi that you were diagnosed on.

Take care,
thinking of you,
Udkas

[LATW]

Hi LuLu,
It is crazy.  Wouldn't really be great if the doctor said you DON"T have MS?  But then that throws you back into the place of thinking you are crazy.  

I did have a phycological exam so I know I am NOT crazy but I do not fit securly into the MS dx and that makes me nervous.  Although my radiology report did state that the area that lit up was probably actue demylenation although it was not in the typical Ms area it was in the white matter. Can't fake that Babinski or ON that showed up on the MRI.  

I do not have any destressor activity.  Right now there is a great deal of stress unfortunantly.  

Alex,
Me too.  I have settled into what is my life now and I don't want to go through another change.  

LA

[HVAC]

I get tense about any test or Doctors appointment. I don't like giving up control. That is why I hate MRIs. Doctors some how are authority figures. It is like going to the principal's office.

Alex

[Lulu54]

Hi LA,
The mobile MRI vs the stationary MRI  question is a good one.  To me it makes sense that the mobile one would be less in strnegth, but I can't tell you why.  I think I have also heard that somewhere.

I have also wondered if the dx for me was wrong and what would happen at my exam or after my mri  - its just been one year for me, but I continue to doubt whether my symptoms are really MS.    Crazy, isn't it?  

How do you normally handle your stress?  Do you have diversions such as a hobby or favorite activity that you can use to distract you from thinking about your next MRI?  
Try to find something to help you pass the time until the next MRI.

be well,
Lulu