issues talking on the phone

[meg321]

Does anyone else here have trouble talking on the phone very long?

It seems that when I am on the phone very long at all, I feel like hanging up on the person or screaming at them, this is no longer than maybe 10 min...

It especially bad with my sister who is ill herself and I always stay in touch with her but she will call and be on the phone forever, if I tell her i need to go she won't hang up. So I have to get very assertive with her and she is very sensitive and gets her feelings hurt.   I hate to cause her to be upset because of her illness, its not good for her either.

And she knows about my MS and she has become somewhat knowledgeable just so she can talk with me.

I am at a loss here...

hugs, meg

[Lindavid2004]

I really have it rough sometimes!! I'll be on the phone telling my husband what to pick up from the store (he's got a bad memory too, so I haves to repeat myself a lot)...and my son will try to have a conversation at the same time...sometimes I just EXPLODE!!!!!
Makes it worse when my son gets mad when I don't answer him or something...I cannot concentrate that well as it is!!!! UGgggHHH!!!! ...I think I'm frustated just thinking about it!!!!! Things like this has happened SO many times!!!!!!

[PastorDan]

I'm surprised I didn't see this thread when it sas new, because I was hanging around here then, I believe.  Anyway, it reminds me of how.much I miss good old Doc Quizzles.  I pray she is doing all right.

I have to agree with a lot of what's in this thread, too.  Dittoes.  

[kwarendorf]

Hi Susan - Just an FYI. This thread is nearly 3 years old. Some of the posters may no longer be around. You might want to start a new thread by clicking on "Post s Question" at the top of most pages.

Kyle

[Susanmaya]

I am actually relieved to see these postings.  I just googled "MS trouble talking on phone" because I have such a hard time on the phone and was directed to this conversation.  After months of wondering I finally thought it might be the MS and now that I see that so many others have difficulties similar to mine it's not so troubling.  Talking on the phone exhausts me, plain and simple.  Emails are easier and now I can explain to those friends that feel hurt because I don't call or stay on the line for long that its really me - the MS - and hopefully they will understand!

[jensequitur]

I think so too - the listening is just exhausting.  I hate the phone anyway, but when it's a llong phone conversation with somebody, it's even worse.  

[meubanks09]

I havnt been dx'd w/  MS YET,  But this kind of confirms it ( to me) a little more....
I didn't know anyone else had this problem

I work in a CALL CENTER lol... and am on the brink of getting fired any day now. I started having all these awful MS-like symptoms about a year ago and my career went spiraling down hill

I help ppl with insurance and benefits.. and used to be the NUMBER ONE CSA in the call center

Now I HANG UP ON PPL cuz i just cant take it anymore. I dont have to hold a phone as I have a headset...So I think for me it's the conversation that is soo draining. If I cant figure out how to explain somthin... or the other person is DUMB and i cant make sense of what they are saying,. I get irritated and just hang up on them

I am hoping they diagnose me soon and put me on Short term disability from work. It's getting really bad... sometimes ill put ppl on hold.. and forget what im even putting them on hold for and just hang up.. LOL. If my boss only knew how many ppl I have hung up on i would have been fired long ago.

Somtimes i turn off my phone for hours and just keep my headset on to " look" like I am taking calls...

A customer service call center is not an easy career for ppl with MS... I earlier thought I could keep working because there are no PHYSICAL DEMANDS. But i am no longer mentally able to handle it anymore.

After a long bad call I almost get disoriented, and have to get up and stetch and take a break cuz i cant deal. it ***** going from being the best at my job, and being happy with my job.. to hating every day, and every call :*( It will be even worse when I lose my job.. how will I even get a new one? Since my brain doesnt " work" anymore???

Much love,
Monica

[momto2grls]

I definitely have a hard time staying on the phone for a long time. I used to love to talk on the phone, but anymore I roll my eyes anytime it rings - just never feel like talking. I have trouble holding the phone in my left hand (my weak, but dominant side) for more than a few minutes and find myself constantly changing hands. I like the idea of speakerphone or even using a headset. Anymore, I also find myself having difficulty following the conversation, feeling very unenthused, and just pretty much saying yeah, uh huh and not adding too much to the conversation. Many times it takes me a little longer to think of what I want to say, so I find it easier to just say nothing - quite frustrating. This is why I like e-mail/message boards better - can take all the time you want - nobody is on the other end waiting for your answer.

[Quixotic1]

I still think it is the dedicated, prolonged listening that gets many of us.  Q

[Deb61]

I have trouble holding the phone up to my ear, so a bluetooth helps.  However, I can't follow a conversation for very long--I get way too tired and will begin to get grumpy.  My usual excuse is that I can't hold up the phone anymore, which has always worked (even with the bluetooth, LOL).  

[Charley123]

Wow does this sound soooo familiar.  I've had to be right up front with everyone and tell them that I just can't talk long and not to take it personally.  If someone doesn't like it I just figure it is not my problem but theirs.  Some days, I just can't be on the phone at all.

For those of you that are thinking about using the speaker phone, I tried that but found a headset that is very light and adjustable and the sound quality is great.  It has a mouthpiece that actually comes around the face to the mouth and it's much better than the ones that give you a mouthpiece that is only a couple of inches long.  It's called a 'Over the head headset' and is made by Philips.  You can also control the volume and that's great for the days when I have trouble hearing.  Bought it at Walmart. Hugs, Charley

[Armygirl73]

Hi there,

I'm so glad you brought this up ... I've been having this problem for months now. It's weird b/c I will often be the one to initiate the phone call and want to talk, but then after a few minutes I can't stand it and want nothing more than to get off the phone. I find myself disengaging from the conversation ... even giving vague "I'm not listening" answers. I sometimes feel like I didn't understand a word the person just said to me. It makes me feel horrible, because I wanted to talk to that person ... but then I can't stand being on the phone suddenly.

I think I will try what Quix said and use speaker phone. Thanks again for bringing up this issue!

Blessings,
ArmyGirl73

[meg321]

Thanks for all the input..I so identify with hating phones but sometimes its okay if the conversation holds my attention.  And most of my friends understand but my sister is just so needy of my attention plus she is soooooo boring and wants to talkabout my illness and hers...its so bad.....but I told a liitle white lie so as not to hurt her feelings.

I said that since my anxiety gets so much worse while on the phone that I have been told to limit my phone calls to 10 min.  She was fine with that, she doesnt want to hurt me, she is just way to needy and sensitive.

It does take me a long time to pick up a phone to make a call. i will find a way around it all day long,  even all week long  and sometimes i never make it..lol

I can relate to both of you..makes me laugh that we seem to be so much alike.

hugs ...

meg

[Quixotic1]

I SOOOOO understand what you are saying.  Having long conversations on the phone can certainly make me irritable.  I don't know why this is.  Part of it is having to hold the phone up.  I found that if I use speakerphone it is much easier to talk.

I think another thing is the intense listening you have to do.  It is incredibly mentally fatigueing.  It's not like watching TV where your mind can wander.  I find it embarrassing to constatly ask what someone said, because I saw a squirrel or something and my poor mind wandered off.  That certainly adds to irritability.  There is no relief from the listening like you have in person where you can get a lot of info from the person's gestures and expressions.

If you are close to your sister, try to explain this.  And maybe make plans to talk more often for shorter lengths of time.  

I find my reluctance to talk to people and especially to call them, leads to social isolation.  I'm sure it is part of the reason some of my friends have drifted away.  Lol, I know part of my phonophobia is from cringing from phone calls the many years I was "on call".  I just hate the phone.  Now, almost a decade after leaving practice, I am getting better about that.

So, yes, talking on the phone often makes me irritable.  But, I try to work through it to keep the contact.  With me, the MS fatigue and irritability go hand in hand.

Quix

[NiCeeGlover]

Hello Meg,

I find if I hold a phone too long in either hand, I drop the phone.

Symps worsen. My hands, arms go so numb, I lose the sense of feeling.

I am learning if I have to be on the phone, I do better earlier in the day. My

communication/comprehension  skills seem to be sluggish later in the day.

Back ground noise or distractions,  I lose total train of thought.

I have no idea how many times I've had to ask who ever called me what we were

  talking about.  LOL

I try to joke about it and laugh it off, but it is embarrassing.    

  I'm sorry you are feeling bad and frustrated about this.  It's frustrating I know!

                    "WE ALL NEED TO TELL OURSELVES"
  
                           "IT'S OK TO TAKE CARE OF US"

When we feel we aren't up to do things others want us to, we need to excuse

ourselves/bow out/ just say no.... "WE KNOW US"  better then anyone.

If we're in a situation that makes us feel this frustrated, we should protect "US".

Even if that means someone gets upset.  

In this state of mind we can't carry on a  meaningful conversation anyway.

So it's a no win if we stay on the phone to make someone

happy, OR  hurt / frustrate them because we said the wrong thing, or didn't

respond in the manner they wanted or expected.  Hugs**** NiCee

[cainer]

   it can  drain you-  maybe even a healthy person!?  she is concerned... i hope.

i have trouble with anyone  listening---so i go and dont complain- thats not good either!!

  this monster just doesnt end with anything-- sorry  - me 2   need to lay down   and someone  wants  to talk...good-luck--  big  hugs    tick

[Wobbly]

Hi there...well I don't have that problem...mine is finding people to chat on the phone... everyone is working when I want to chat...and in the evenings I get too tired to chat... so if it's in the evenings when your on the phone.. I can agree with that..

sorry your in this situation and hope you can work it out and let your sis know your tired and will chat abit later??  

take care
wobbly