personal moratorium on complaining

[doublevision1]

As of today, I'm imposing on myself a one-month moratorium on complaining about my symptoms.  Actually, not just complaining about them, but even mentioning them.  Don't get me wrong, this is not an attempt to be a more 'positive'person.  That would be trying to be something I'm not.  The absence of negative does not  = positive.   I just want to *be*, with less dwelling on discomfort, but no pressure to be cheery.

The exceptions to the above are for the couple of medical appts I have scheduled.  Outside of that, no mention of it.

I recently re-read a quote again from Michael J Fox, something along the lines of not worrying about the future because if it never happens, you lived it unnecessarily, and if it does happen, you've lived it twice.  I applied this to my situation, not in terms of worrying about the future, but in speaking and whining about the present.  So not only am I suffering in the experiencing of the symptoms, but multiplying the effect by describing and complaining about them to others in the present and after the fact.  

So for one month, I won't mention my symptoms or utter the letters MS to my husband.  He knows I have MS.  I don't have to keep reminding him every single freaking day.  If someone else asks how I am, I'll say fine, how are you.  And if they ask it with that pitying expression, I won't take the bait.

Venting does serve a purpose, especially when one is trying to figure out what's wrong and then of course once the dx is handed down.  And certainly when things worsen rapidly or unexpectedly, or just when one has a really sh*tty day.  But it's not helpful on a regular basis.  Not for me anyway, nearly 6 years into this disease.  This will be a good test of self-discipline for me, and a break not just for me but for those around me who are probably sick of hearing the constant play by play.  Wish me luck.

[Wobbly]

sounds good, I'm going to join in and I'm hoping to not even use my cane.  I've tried that before but I'm going to try harder this time.

Spring is in the air and flowers are starting to bloom.

take care and lets have a great month
wobbly

[Mand125]

Count me in! I will start my month from today.

Mand

[Guitar_grrrl]

Yayy, DV!  I'm so glad you're taking this step!  Pretty much the only folks I complain to are my neuro and PCP.  And yesterday, in my pre-employment physical, I needed to ask for a few rest provisions.

We've got today.  People who know I have MS see me on the street and tell me I look terrific. I don't necessarily feel terrific, but I'm not going to go there - why ruin a "high" moment?  I just say, thank you.  If folks ask me about MS stuff, I give them a _very_ brief answer, and change the subject as fast as I can.

My MS Free Zone this last weekend included viewing my neighbor's art installation at a well known gallery, and sitting in a circle with my guitar playing buddies, playing tunes for each other.  MS takes the back seat every time with this stuff.  In the gallery, a couple of times I needed to sit down, because I'd been standing for a long time, but I just sat down - no explanation necessary.

And Alex - you're the queen of this stuff!  

Get out there and live - that's what I say!
Peace

[doublevision1]

Hey thanks for the support, Guys!  I'm encouraged that some of you will join me.  

I nearly broke my own rule last night on the very first day of my complaining fast.  "Joan Didion" was an answer on Jeopardy, which I got right.  Husband says 'never heard of her.'  I reply 'yes, you have.  she's Dominick Dunne's sister in law and I told you about her when I read her book.....' then almost said "...and she has MS' when I caught myself.  Even though it wasn't anything to do with complaining about me, I stuck to my private deal not to utter those letters out loud, as it would still be a reminder of me and my situation.

This is going to be tricky!  But I can do it, and so can you, if you want to. :)

[ku111]

Thanks!  Good advice!  It is what it is, right!?  Gonna be a good day!

[maxthecat43]

Count me in.  I don't even have any appts. so unless I have s serious relapse, I shouldn't have to talk about it at all.  I'm excited about this!

Tammy

[supermum_ms]

So does that include absolutely everything, and i do mean everything, sooooo i'll have to go back to saying "sorry honey, not tonight i've got a headache" when i dont get headaches, instead of the truth of "aghhh dont even think about it, my $$^^% pelvic floor muscle feels like its down around my knees so if you think i'm in the mood, your totally off your rocker!" so thats not allowed, right?

ROFL this is going to be an interesting month, but i'm game if you are lol

Cheers.........JJ    

[rendean]

Alex,
Of all of us here, you have good through the most.  Now that you're in the game, perhaps I should back off the loser prize left hand paraestheia.  You may take home the Winners Cup :-)

Ren

[DiannaKw]

Good for you, and good luck!

[HVAC]

Sounds like a great plan may be I will try. I think I may fall short but I like it.

[Lulu54]

thanks for the smile - a lifetime membership?  Why couldn't it be at one of those fitness gym centers instad of a chronic disease?  It's always good to see you around, L

[tingletingle]

Hey DV,

That is a terrific challenge and so valuable in building mental strength and regaining your life. I guess we just reach a point where enough is enough and we're sick of being sick and talking about it.

I had an MS holiday a few weeks ago and it felt soooo good. I was sad about stopping my daily fix of Medhelp and keeping up with you guys but we've all got to do what we got to do. At the end of the day we're in an exclusive club with lifetime membership, so no rush.

All the very best of luck with your endeavours.

Blessings
Alex

[Lulu54]

D- what a great start to this new spring season - blooming with a new attitude is admirable.  I think you and Ren and me and a few others around here who have known this MonSter for a while, have gotten used to the pings and zaps in our bodies and the questions in our brains as well.  And consequently it is easier to set aside the MS and just get on with living life.

Beema and Jane - you are both new enough to this side of the mountain that you get to focus on your MS a bit longer ....  :-)

best to everyone,
L

[rendean]

I am impressed with your goal and perhaps I should learn a lesson from you. Everyone around me knows I have MS. Why remind myself everyday, of course this is without the 4 hospitalizations in 3 months time), what is disabling me? Just focus on what I CAN do and not worry about the rest, i.e. delegate it to someone else :).

This would be a good time for me to start this new "attitude" towards my well-being and attitude. Especially since for the first time in almost 7 years, I have been in remission!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I woke up yesterdy and felt like I did years ago.

So, MS. DB you're on. First one to break the"new attitude" (with apologies to the Patti LaBelle for my singing) gets a flare of the left hand paraesthesia.

Good luck with your plan. It is an admirable one, that's why I'm "borrowing" it.   :~)

Ren

[JaneK1975]

I'll be rooting for you :)

[beema36]

Good luck! This is an admirable thing. I keep trying to do this very thing but the next thing I know I find myself telling my dh about my latest ache, pain or whatever. And then I get down on myself for being a whiner. Its hard and I bet you can do it.:-)