Not feeling hopeful.

[Brianna44]

I don't really know where to start. I'm 18 and was diagnosed about 7 months ago. I haven't been to the nerologist because I made a trip in October and they didn't have my MRIs even though I called in advance to see if they did. (they are about 2 hrs away and I took the day off of college courses)

I've had tingling in my legs a lot recently expecially when I'm stressed out. (which is a lot) My mother has MS so I have seen firsthand what it has done and hope not to end up like her. (she has taken a lot of narcotics though) My dad passed away a couple weeks before I was diagnosed and he was my best friend. I know I probably just sound like I'm complaining but I just feel so alone. I know college is supposed to be the best time of my life but this probably has been the worst.

My mom hasn't been there for me. Shes turned to drugs and new boyfriends (her current one is actually in jail.) Shes going to take me off of her health insurance in june and isnt paying for anything of mine. (books, college, car insurance, food, or my phone.)

Ive been trying to find out possibilites for college and health care next year ( i have to transfer because I dont have a cosigner.) I've just been feeling very down and haven't felt very hopeful. I guess I just was hoping someone had any ideas or positive words.
Thank you

[Lulu54]

Brianna, in no way do you sound like you are complaining.  And even if you were, this is a safe place to do so.  You have so much going on in your life - the good and the bad - that juggling all of this must feel overwhelming.  

It is so hard to step away from the big picture, but I would love it if you could focus on one  or two things  at a time.   If you think of all the items that you have going on, it can be way too much to cope with.

Its great that you will go back where you have a support system - we all need someone to turn to and I hope your grandma is that perons for you.  I'm not quite positive about anything dealing with insurace, and I would urge you to talk with someone in the know.  Perhaps you can still be covered by your dad's insurance with you paying a premium?  As I said, I just don't know much.

Physical therapy is a great field to study -talk about a tough course load.  I could never remember all those anatomy names!  LOL

best of luck to you this semester and please do stay in touch, ok?

Lulu

[Brianna44]

Thank you everyone, I really appreciate it. Just being able to talk about everything makes me feel better but to answer some questions I'm originally from NY and I got diagnosed there by my nerologist about 3 weeks before I left for school in TX. I wasn't able to start on medicine because I was leaving so soon but I haven't been able to get into a nerologist in Dallas because its so booked.

I did go to counseling at the school but don't really have time being a full time student and working part time. But I may try and take some time for it if I feel that I need it.

I've been trying to look for scholarships the NMSS but unfortunatly the only big scholarship they have is only for high school seniors. I have asked my guidence counselor from high school to help me find scholarships and she is really a great woman and has been trying to help in any way.

My mom will be going on Medicare or Medicade I know theres a big difference but I'm not sure what it is but she plans on taking me off the insurance in June because thats when my dad's insurance through work ends. I'm trying to look into getting health insurance through the college but I'm not sure where I'm going next year. ( i know I'll go back to NY to be closer to my grandma-( my dads mom) and other supportive family.)

It has just been hard coming back from Christmas break because most of my friends (minus 2) at college don't know whats even going on at home or about my MS. I know I should let people in but its hard to when I always just feel like a downer if I talk about it too much.

Yes i have posted before! Probably quite similar but just not quite as bad. But I can't believe you remeber!! Im studying Physical therapy and am actually kind of excited about my classes this semester which is exciting.

Thank you!
Brianna

Thanks again :)

[debgen]

Oh Brianna, I am so sorry to hear all these awful things you are going through. I agree with advice already posted. It would be a great idea to speak with your college advisor to discuss financing and counseling. I truly hope things start to change for the better for you soon. Please remember that you have a forum family here and we all care about you!
Hugs to you,
Deb

[Sidesteps]

I started to post this last night but got caught in the maintenance. I am hoing to keep it the sane despite others giving the same advice. Here it is:

Yes, I do have some advice but first, big hugs to you.

You've posted before haven't you? I recall a very similar post but it's been awhile? If so, I remember you!!! :)

I just recently saw a post from my Aunt that the NMSS is offering scholarships. Check it out. (Google NMSS scholarships and it comes up.)

There are also lots of grants and and scholarships for teens - use this and your MS to meet your goals. Make an appointment with your college advisor and see what they can do for you.

Also, don't restrict yourself to Junior or State Colleges some of the best programs and funds available are with private Universities. If you need to - apply for State assistance for medical and get healthcare. Some Universities offer medical as well so that one stone could kill two birds and help you finish your degree and get health insurance that will give you a goal to focus on.

Apply for anything and everything (for financial assistance) and let these things work for you. K? We are here to support you. Hang in there girl. What are you wanting to study?

[Sparkysarah]

To continue....

I am wondering if you can help yourself by seeing if there is a college counsellor you can see to give you an opportunity to talk face to face about your bereavement and your recent diagnosis. It sounds to me as if you would really benefit from a kind empathic listening ear and somehwere confidential where  you can offload all that you are currently dealing with.

I hope that some of the others can give you some practical help about the medical/financial help available..but I am sure that college must have some sort of student services where this sort of advice is available. Do not be afraid of asking for help as it will empower you and give you confidence.

Try and think of the positive things in your life and the fact that you are studying and at college is certainly one thing that stands out. You have witnessed the difficulties that your Mum has had and however hard this has been, I sense that you certainly want to make something of your life and you are going in the right direction.

I have teenage children and cannot imagine how hard it must be for you to be facing your recent dx of MS. It is OK to feel sorry for yourself...you have had a tough time.

With love and support

Sarah

[Sparkysarah]

I remember your name and saying hello some months back so glad to see you posting again, but sorry that you are feeling so low.

How we deal with what life throws at us can shape our future as we learn by experience. You have already learned the hard way and had some VERY tough challenges to face. It sounds as if your Mum has not been a great role model and so has not provided you with the love and security that we all need when we are growing up and passing through adolescence. So you have probably had to become an adult earlier than some of your peers.   You have also just lost your Dad and it is very early days to deal with the grief of losing the one person who it sounds like, was there for you. So allow yourself some time to grieve as I believe that the body holds onto this unless it has an outlet for expression.

I am wondering if you can help yourself by seeing if there is a college cou

[jenphilly]

Brianna -

Any chance your dad was ever in the military?  

Have you done your FAFSA application for college funds and loans?   Also check into the different MS groups, many have support funds that may help out with college.  Do a search online for any possible scholarship and grants.  Also talk to your advisor to see what the school may help with.  My daughter is a sophmore and I've been a single mom all her life, we did a ton of research for grants.  Unfortunately I made too much for most, but you may be able to have yourself declared an independent which greatly increases available federal funds.  

What state are you in?  You may be able to look into a state funded program for insurance, BlueChip is a big one, but I am presuming BC/BS does that in all states, not sure where you are.

If you're back to school right now, does the school have a medical office?  Talk to them about options for getting tests done and into a neurologist.  They might be able to offer some help as well.

Good luck!  I was independent at your age, so understand trying to do it all...   Keep posting, there are lots of people here who might have other ideas for you!  

Hugs,

Jen

[sllowe]

Brianna,

Sorry this isn't such a good time in your life. I'm a bit confused. You mention you are dx'd....Were you dx'd with MS? Also, if you haven't seen the neuro - who dx'd you?

Sorry for the questions - just hoping you can fill in some blanks here for us so we can put our best foot forward for you and help.

As for your Mom - I'm sorry there is no help there. You have to look out for yourself right now though - you can't help anyone, when you need help. Your Dad is always with you :) Always. Keep those memories close, and in your front pocket.

Since your Mom has insurance, you can be covered until you are 26 now.
Your young - and though it doesn't feel like it right now, you do have years of life ahead of you. Hope we can help you make a couple next steps here toward getting to the bottom of what's going on.

Thanks for joining us,
-Shell

[lilmiss1999]

Oh hun I am so sorry you are going through all of this. Remember to keep your chin up and keep pushing forward. Look into every avenue possible to keep getting medical help. I am sure others on here will be able to offer some options to you.

Coming to this forum has done so much for me and comforted me when I too felt all alone.

Everyone here understands the feeling and will be here for you.

If you ever just need to talk you can always PM me. I may not be able to offer the best advice for you but I have a great listening ear and I am always here to help.

Hope you have a good evening.

Jen