Aa
please help
Hi, im really sorry for this being so long but my name is jimmy and im 20.
for a while i had being experenicing not normal feelings when hungover and/or coming down of extacy (which i was using every weekend and sometimes during the week for about 5 months) or anphetamines. I have been a very heavy alchol abuser drinking bottles of whiskey etc to the point where i just pass out for a long time... (4-5 years, im a hypracondriac (if i get a cold, or a nose bleed, or i feel ill i will think i am dying and start panicing), depressed (on and off...sometimes slighty sometimes really badly) and im a anxious person.
the strange feelings where just allot more tired than anyone else and slight hallucinations for instance i would be scratching my elbow and it wouldnt feel asif i was doing it kind of thing and i would get a shock and jump up scared thinking i was tripping, also when i woke up my heart would be pounding and difficulty breathing (this problem stopped eventually but is the only one i sometimes got when not hungover.. usually when panic attack) on the odd occasion a headache. etc but all these symptoms dissapeared and i was perfectly normal the next day. i stopped the drugs like 6 months ago the problem kind of went away but when i started drinking more frequently they came back slighty.
3 months ago i drank on the thursday, friday and saturday night quite heavily, id been hit on the friday night in the head because my head my all bruised in the morning, i dont know if this has any relevance. but on the sunday i was obviously hungover then on monday i was fine but i was sitting in my girlfriends house and i started feeling a bit wierd like aching mucsles and blurry and just generally not with it. Tuesday woke up with a horrible cold, a flu like headache at the back of my head, tired stinging eyes, and noticed one of my pupils looked very slightly bigger than the other.
week later the cold and stuff had dissapeared, but i still felt a bit weak, achy muscles and blurry and tired eyes. I continued to drink every weekend i started getting very slight almost shooting pains in my right eye which lasted only 10-20 seconds etc. Month and a half later i went to the doctor and explained how id been ill for a week etc and about my eyes.
Tested my eyes and said there is nothing wrong with your eyes they are perfectly normal, but advised to go to an optician just to put my mind at rest. I went to the optician and they said my eyes where medically fine and i didnt need glasses or anything like that.
Ive moved back in with my step dad because i was living in a horrible flat which was damp, and very dirty and i thought that would of being why i was ill, plus the fact i was so down thinking about getting better and general things in life. I got myself into a routine where i couldnt go out my room or talk to people because i thought i would just start feeling really bad etc. im still kind of like this now,
Anyway i have blood tests on the 27th. I search the internet every single day trying to find whats wrong with me, Panic myself constantly about all these diseases and now im sure im dying.
My symptoms.
Panic attacks, Fear of going places incase i might die or i will feel symptoms.
Weak legs and sore hands or arms (aching muscles) sometimes
Shooting pains in my head still only on the right usually but sometimes on the left. I never have a headache which is painful or stays around for long. sometimes it feels like the pain asif there is a bruise in the place it hurts like on my skull but if i itch it or something it seems to go away, I sometimes get like a kind of heavy head drozy headahce like asif i had a cold and it seems to be around the back right of my head.
I feel generally not normal sometimes visually, Like especially when its bright outside, I dont know if this is because i sat in my room with no light for so long etc.
When i panic it seems like i have trouble breathing
Brain fog, a sense of not been very attached with reality.
Wake up feeling confused.
When going to sleep at night i sometimes close my eyes and just about to drift off to sleep i panic and jump up and wake up.
Wake up earlier, cant seem to sleep in anymore
Constant nightmares about dying of cancer or something because its constantly on my mind 24/7
All these things seemed to get worse since i got the internet and started matching my symptoms up to diseases. This has pretty much ruined my life because i dont feel normal and i dont feel like i can do anything.
for a while i had being experenicing not normal feelings when hungover and/or coming down of extacy (which i was using every weekend and sometimes during the week for about 5 months) or anphetamines. I have been a very heavy alchol abuser drinking bottles of whiskey etc to the point where i just pass out for a long time... (4-5 years, im a hypracondriac (if i get a cold, or a nose bleed, or i feel ill i will think i am dying and start panicing), depressed (on and off...sometimes slighty sometimes really badly) and im a anxious person.
the strange feelings where just allot more tired than anyone else and slight hallucinations for instance i would be scratching my elbow and it wouldnt feel asif i was doing it kind of thing and i would get a shock and jump up scared thinking i was tripping, also when i woke up my heart would be pounding and difficulty breathing (this problem stopped eventually but is the only one i sometimes got when not hungover.. usually when panic attack) on the odd occasion a headache. etc but all these symptoms dissapeared and i was perfectly normal the next day. i stopped the drugs like 6 months ago the problem kind of went away but when i started drinking more frequently they came back slighty.
3 months ago i drank on the thursday, friday and saturday night quite heavily, id been hit on the friday night in the head because my head my all bruised in the morning, i dont know if this has any relevance. but on the sunday i was obviously hungover then on monday i was fine but i was sitting in my girlfriends house and i started feeling a bit wierd like aching mucsles and blurry and just generally not with it. Tuesday woke up with a horrible cold, a flu like headache at the back of my head, tired stinging eyes, and noticed one of my pupils looked very slightly bigger than the other.
week later the cold and stuff had dissapeared, but i still felt a bit weak, achy muscles and blurry and tired eyes. I continued to drink every weekend i started getting very slight almost shooting pains in my right eye which lasted only 10-20 seconds etc. Month and a half later i went to the doctor and explained how id been ill for a week etc and about my eyes.
Tested my eyes and said there is nothing wrong with your eyes they are perfectly normal, but advised to go to an optician just to put my mind at rest. I went to the optician and they said my eyes where medically fine and i didnt need glasses or anything like that.
Ive moved back in with my step dad because i was living in a horrible flat which was damp, and very dirty and i thought that would of being why i was ill, plus the fact i was so down thinking about getting better and general things in life. I got myself into a routine where i couldnt go out my room or talk to people because i thought i would just start feeling really bad etc. im still kind of like this now,
Anyway i have blood tests on the 27th. I search the internet every single day trying to find whats wrong with me, Panic myself constantly about all these diseases and now im sure im dying.
My symptoms.
Panic attacks, Fear of going places incase i might die or i will feel symptoms.
Weak legs and sore hands or arms (aching muscles) sometimes
Shooting pains in my head still only on the right usually but sometimes on the left. I never have a headache which is painful or stays around for long. sometimes it feels like the pain asif there is a bruise in the place it hurts like on my skull but if i itch it or something it seems to go away, I sometimes get like a kind of heavy head drozy headahce like asif i had a cold and it seems to be around the back right of my head.
I feel generally not normal sometimes visually, Like especially when its bright outside, I dont know if this is because i sat in my room with no light for so long etc.
When i panic it seems like i have trouble breathing
Brain fog, a sense of not been very attached with reality.
Wake up feeling confused.
When going to sleep at night i sometimes close my eyes and just about to drift off to sleep i panic and jump up and wake up.
Wake up earlier, cant seem to sleep in anymore
Constant nightmares about dying of cancer or something because its constantly on my mind 24/7
All these things seemed to get worse since i got the internet and started matching my symptoms up to diseases. This has pretty much ruined my life because i dont feel normal and i dont feel like i can do anything.
as i said i stopped the drugs when these kind of things started happening on a comedown and/or a hangover like 5 months ago. I stopped drinking 3 weeks ago i had 4 cans of beer last saturday and my legs went weak and i felt nausious which is strange because usually i feel better when i have drunk.
I also forgot to mention that my right ear has a kind of popping sensation asif im on a plane. No hearing loss as such...
These symptoms are almost permenent which has led me to belive i have a serious illness.
Is it somehow possible that the drug, and the excessive alcohol abuse from the age of 15-16 has permently screwed me up? The ammount of alcohol i used to consume 5-6 months ago was alllllot of spirits. After i quit the drugs i started to cut down the alcohol intake but still found myself drinking 8 cans of beer then drinking allot of whiskeys one after another i would also barley eat anything and usually drink on an empty stomache sometimes not eating atall over the weekend. The problem was that i dont know how to stop, I am stopping drinking but its very hard because ive had a routine of basing mainly anything i do socially with drinking.
I also forgot to mention that my right ear has a kind of popping sensation asif im on a plane. No hearing loss as such...
These symptoms are almost permenent which has led me to belive i have a serious illness.
Is it somehow possible that the drug, and the excessive alcohol abuse from the age of 15-16 has permently screwed me up? The ammount of alcohol i used to consume 5-6 months ago was alllllot of spirits. After i quit the drugs i started to cut down the alcohol intake but still found myself drinking 8 cans of beer then drinking allot of whiskeys one after another i would also barley eat anything and usually drink on an empty stomache sometimes not eating atall over the weekend. The problem was that i dont know how to stop, I am stopping drinking but its very hard because ive had a routine of basing mainly anything i do socially with drinking.
I agree with everything Quixotic1 said to you, and just want to add, with treatment it is possible to stop having those panic attacks and to no longer fear leaving your home. There is hope! (And BTW, the foggy, disconnected feeling you get is often a symptom of panic attacks. Can't say for sure, as Quix pointed out the toxicity of drugs and alcohol.)
Do call a hotline right away. They will help you. Good luck, and keep us posted.
Do call a hotline right away. They will help you. Good luck, and keep us posted.
Yes you are having panic attacks, but you have also been on some heavy duty brain poisons. They will mess with your thinking, they can do permanent damage (heavy alcohol and amphetamines) and cause anxiety, depression, and paranoia. If I could do anything it would be to try to stop people from surfing their symptoms. When you do that you only find the horrible stuff.
You must get some help both for your despair and your drug/drinking problems before they kill you. Nothing you have described sounds like a life-threatening illness other than the drugs and alcohol. Would your stepdad help you get into rehab? If he can't help, call the Crisis Hotline in your city and tell them everything you told us. They have the resources to know where to get you help.!!! Call right now!!
I'm a doctor and I'm telling you to give yourself a chance to live and be healthy. Call the Hotline immediatley. It may be called Crisis Hotline, Suicide Hotline, Mental Health Hotline, whatever. Look for it in the book and call.
Jimmy - call someone right now, then come back here and tell me what they said, okay? Quix
You must get some help both for your despair and your drug/drinking problems before they kill you. Nothing you have described sounds like a life-threatening illness other than the drugs and alcohol. Would your stepdad help you get into rehab? If he can't help, call the Crisis Hotline in your city and tell them everything you told us. They have the resources to know where to get you help.!!! Call right now!!
I'm a doctor and I'm telling you to give yourself a chance to live and be healthy. Call the Hotline immediatley. It may be called Crisis Hotline, Suicide Hotline, Mental Health Hotline, whatever. Look for it in the book and call.
Jimmy - call someone right now, then come back here and tell me what they said, okay? Quix
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