Does this sound like I'm a transgender woman who is also a lesbian, or is it all just OCD?
I've been living as a woman for the past two years and I've always doubted if I was actually a transgender woman. I've been using female pronoun's, using a female name, basically just living like a cisgender woman for the past two years. But, I'm going to be starting HRT soon and I keep getting these doubts of "what if I'm not really transgender", "what if I regret transitioning later in life", "what if it's just OCD making me think that I'm a transgender woman", things like that.
I have never been diagnosed with OCD because I've never thought to see someone about it, but I also have been doubting things like my sexuality. For example I keep getting thoughts of "am I a lesbian". An example of this is when I look at a woman and I look at her boobs for example I think "why am I looking at her boobs? Am I a lesbian". The lesbian thoughts started when Gigi Gorgeous who is a transgender woman on YouTube who is also a lesbian cake out as a lesbian! That's when they started! I was thinking "what if my sexuality changes on HRT? I want to fall in love and be with a man. How do I know that I might think that I like men or even marry a man and think I love him but subconsciously I am a lesbian". I also struggle with the admiring vs being attracted to women thing. For example, I don't want to have sex with women or have a relationship with women. I don't really get along with many women (is this a bad sign? Maybe I'm rejecting I'm a lesbian since I don't get along very well with many women? Is that possible).