How it started n is it still here!!

[missyghostgirl]

So I never used to worry about anything or stress over ought, then one night I went out left my back door unlocked which is when it all began...

So after that I started taking about 20mins checking my door before I walked away. This has been going on about 5 years but nowhere near as bad I can walk away from the door after about 2mins of checking the handle. When all theis first happened I could not leave ought plugged in whilst leaving the house and all wires had to be removed from near sockets, that lasted about two years ago I no longer do it.

i then went on over the years to worry and panic about stuff mostly illnesses and diseases. In 2010 I slept with a guy with a condom and freaked out as I cut myself down there bringing on symptoms and making myself poorly thinking he gave me HIV it took me a year to build up the courage to test.

I also have a long term boyfriend of 8 years we have been on and off over the years he suffers with depression really bad and I wondered if this could have any effect on me, he is always down for example it's Christmas and he has no christmas spirt not even a tree just days before and sometimes him being down or me just being around him gets me down ( ps I never cheated on him in 2010 we was on a break)

My question is do I have ocd, issues, or am I fine and it's all in my head

[missyghostgirl]

Thank you very much for your help I will give it a go :)

[JGF25]

The medication I take is one tablet a day.  There are a lot out there that work well for OCD but not every med works well for each person so it can be a trial and error at first.  

CBT is cognitive behavioral therapy.  Self-coaching and controlled breathing, replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, etc.

As far as your checking...do this.  When you check the door say out loud "The door is locked" or "the cooker is off" so that when you have that moment of panic you can remember that you said it out loud.  Works for me.  Also, DO NOT GO BACK.  If you do, you are giving in and you will never make any headway into the checking problem.  It is okay to check once though so you can do that but that is it...once...then out loud that it is locked, off or whatever.  Then no going back.  

[missyghostgirl]

Oh wow so once you have it you kind of have it for life.

It's mad really and as I no exactly what triggered mine 6years ago I left the back door open I had closed and locked it when going out on a night out but it was not closed.

I did go doctors for help but thought I new best. The medication that you take for it is it like one tablet a day?

What is cbt so I can look into it?

This may sound strange but if am nipping shop or school I can give it a quick check and walk away but if I have to go work or stop out it can take a while lol and I no it's locked but yet I doubt myself, I have even drove back from places before to make sure I have locked the door, switched cooker off, closed windows lol I do tell myself off once I realise it is locked it's so frustrating.

The mind is such a powerful thing more powerful than I ever thought was possible.

I don't check as much but I still do everyday to be honest but now my irrational thoughts seem to worsen I seem to have at least one a day

[JGF25]

Hi there.  I have had OCD since I was a teenager.  I am now 50.  You are right in that OCD changes through the years.  I started out as a checker and from there went on to other irrational thoughts.  To be honest with you medication works best for me.  Oh I learned CBT and I think that everybody with OCD should learn CBT because medication does not take the entire problem away but it sure does help greatly.  I have been off and on medication and the years I was off I was never OCD free.  I managed it using my CBT but as you probably know, it is work.  For me stress makes my OCD flare up so even on medication, the right stressful event can send me into a tailspin.  This happened to me in 2011.  I upped my dosage, practiced my CBT, and have been good to go ever since.  

That front door of yours...check it once and then walk away.  When that urge comes to go back and rattle that door knob yet again tell yourself NO, I WILL NOT GO BACK and then start doing controlled breathing to calm yourself down.  I am a big believer in self-coaching.  Yelling at yourself in your head so to speak to kind of wake you up and get you out of your head.  

[missyghostgirl]

Oh hi and thank you for the reply, it has been a hectic start to the new year but was all good thank you. Hope you had a magical one and happy new year :)

I did go doctors many years ago and he confirmed it I deci against medication as i thought I could beat it and as the years have gone on I bel I have got better and that am not as bad as I used to be I no longer check things in my home or clean 24/7 but the front door still takes a while to walk away from but it's no where near as bad as it was a few years ago.

I suppose I obsesse over other things now like illnesses etc and still that front door of mine lol.

What steps did you take to overcome your ocd or do you still have it? If you don't mind me asking if you do still have it how long have you had it for and what do you ocd over :)

[JGF25]

Hi there.  Sorry for the delay in getting back to you.  I hope you had a nice holiday.  

In answer to your question, I am not a doctor so I cannot formally diagnose you on the forum.  I can tell you that it sure does sound like you have OCD though just by what you have written.  

Glad to hear you no longer have a checking problem.  I had that too and if you need any advice on that, let me know.  

My guess is that over the years you have developed your own coping skills for your OCD.  My question for you is with regard to your everyday life.  Do you think you spend more of your time battling OCD thoughts or not?  You did post so I figure it is bothering you.  Just trying to figure out how much of a problem it is for you.