Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Community
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Avatar universal


I have OCD for a long time. I understand my condition and how it ruins my life in many aspects.
My OCD is on fear of HIV and nothing else. It has caused so much damage to my personal life that I really can’t be more honest than that.
There’s a healthy part of me in constant fight with the sick part of me.
I try to have a healthy sex life but I always fail. I fail because I think I’ll be able to have wothout being ruined by OCD afterwards. As I said, I fail every single time.
I play safe sex. I never engage into risky situations even though my mind keeps looking for “what ifs”. And then I spend my life waiting for the right date to be tested (window period, etc).
I’ve taking medication for OCD and I’ve been seeing a therapist as well. Nothing ever works except for being tested over and over again and having the false feeling of relief.
I think my post is more of a claim for help rather than asking for some sort of specific answer.
Thank you!
4 Responses
1699033 tn?1514116733
No help at all with medication?  What are you taking? Does your therapist tell you to stop testing?  You see every time you test, you perpetuate the cyclical thinking that is OCD.  You think the thought, you what-if it, you catastrophize it, you test, you feel better for 5 seconds and rinse and repeat.  

The key is to learn to deal with the thoughts.  You CANNOT test.  So in not doing so you are going to become anxious.  Now you have to practice self-coaching, controlled breathing, etc. to deal with the resulting anxiety.  The self-coaching is key because you have to remember past experiences.  You have had sex, you have tested and you are negative.  Each scenario is no different as long as you practice safe sex.  

Did you look up the statistics for becoming HIV positive?  It is really low actually.  If a person sticks themselves with a needle of HIV infected blood I think it is something like 1% would become positive.  That pretty darn low and that is with a REAL exposure.  
Great to read that! Thank you
so much!
Great response... I have the same exact fears and your answer is helpful
Avatar universal
I too suffer with OCD of this type. The best thing you can do is to not engage in sexual activity for a while. You where already tested and the results are not gonna change unless you engage in sexual activity. The risk of hiv is very low it is a very very hard virus to get. It’s very weak and fragile.And you practice safe sex so why even worry about it? But if it bothers you so much stay away from sexual activity for a while trust me on this one it will help you tremendously as it did with me. Zoloft is very good for OCD have you tried that? A lot of people use it for exactly that.
Avatar universal
My ocd about this hiv started everytime i go to massage parlour... it's one or two day after massage and i noticed i had small scar...now I'm doomed by this fear...
You are only doomed by the massage parlor fear if you go the massage parlor.  Think about that. If you cant give up the massage parlor, perhaps you have a sexual addiction and sexual addiction.  Mental health issues are often the underlying core of addiction.  You'd be best served by professional help with a psychiatrist/psychologist. good luck
Avatar universal
ocd take back control of your life on youtube is a life saver this guy is just like us and has suffered from ocd to 40 yrs his insights are really helping me right now
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