No help at all with medication? What are you taking? Does your therapist tell you to stop testing? You see every time you test, you perpetuate the cyclical thinking that is OCD. You think the thought, you what-if it, you catastrophize it, you test, you feel better for 5 seconds and rinse and repeat.
The key is to learn to deal with the thoughts. You CANNOT test. So in not doing so you are going to become anxious. Now you have to practice self-coaching, controlled breathing, etc. to deal with the resulting anxiety. The self-coaching is key because you have to remember past experiences. You have had sex, you have tested and you are negative. Each scenario is no different as long as you practice safe sex.
Did you look up the statistics for becoming HIV positive? It is really low actually. If a person sticks themselves with a needle of HIV infected blood I think it is something like 1% would become positive. That pretty darn low and that is with a REAL exposure.
I too suffer with OCD of this type. The best thing you can do is to not engage in sexual activity for a while. You where already tested and the results are not gonna change unless you engage in sexual activity. The risk of hiv is very low it is a very very hard virus to get. It’s very weak and fragile.And you practice safe sex so why even worry about it? But if it bothers you so much stay away from sexual activity for a while trust me on this one it will help you tremendously as it did with me. Zoloft is very good for OCD have you tried that? A lot of people use it for exactly that.
My ocd about this hiv started everytime i go to massage parlour... it's one or two day after massage and i noticed i had small scar...now I'm doomed by this fear...
ocd take back control of your life on youtube is a life saver this guy is just like us and has suffered from ocd to 40 yrs his insights are really helping me right now