cocaine use lead to OCD?

[newmanagment]

I am a regular on the addiction forum, but never been here. My wfie has noticed (as well as me) that as i clean up from a cocaine addiction i have been a littel obsessive. i have to have towels face a certain way. the house MUST be picked up , we have 2 small children so thats a hard one. i cant have any dirty dishes on the counter. Is this considered OCD or am i just lettin my mind play tricks on me?

[susieq87]

Perhaps you are developing a little bit of a avoidant personality.  But that is OK, I think a lot of this will pass.  I was raised in the day if you tattled, you got spanked.  I was do good, look good, be good, by my mom but a couple of my relationships ended up being with what we would call then, outlaws.  So I did have the experience of people coming in the back door with guns drawn and I don't wish to repeat it, all this was years ago.  
my ex is deceased by the way.  There is a saying fake it til you make it....You are changing for the better and many people don't like crowds.  Perhaps you are learning to be choosier in whom you are around and the influence they make on you.  My grown children saw a lot but tey survived with none in the joint and a couple like to drink too much but I am lucky so I did something right in spite of the past.  Although I am not real religious I am spiritual.  I look back and realize i did send them to Sunday school for a few years.  They did learn respect and self-esteem.  If you ant, write out a gratitude list of things you are grateful for.  We are human and are not perfect, just be yourself.  Get solutions to your problems and issues, whether it is a therapist, a doctor or medication.  Thank you for alloing me to share with you..

[newmanagment]

your awesome susie!! thanx for your input and words of encouragment. i have noticed that i use to be a "people" person. now i dont like crowds, i cant even shop unless its real early and people arent around. i worry about my kids NON stop now. hoping they dont get hurt by someone like i did. i put myself in the spot where i got shot, but it still freaks me out. maybe getting shot has affected my mind, even tho i tried to stay strong and act like im all good. i am just a messed up man..... oh well my babies love me..
sorry to hear about your ex! i never could understand why you would directly hurt the ones you love?!?

[susieq87]

It sounds like you want to save your life, I believe you are headed the right direction.  Since you were shot, you might have some Post Traumatic Stress, I was physcially and mentally abused by my ex and that fear factor comes into play whether we know it or not.  Also, it sounds like you have a dual diagnosis which makes you a double winner so to speak.  It reallywon't hurt to talk about hese issues and there is help everywhere.  

[newmanagment]

i have been in cleanin process for 4 years or so. i quit for a year relapse, etc.  this time i have joined NA , and i am on this forum all the time. cant do a rehab or anything ,because i dont have insurance. So i should maybe talk to my doc? she mentioned that she wanted me to get some mental health counseling, especially since i was shot 2 years ago. ill check her out monday, and she may be able to get me some financial help too. thanx for postin,  i really need the feedback on this one

[susieq87]

Do you have a recvry program and a sponsor or are you solo?  If this problem is causing so much distress, it has become hugh.  If you can afford or have insurance go with the psychologist.  If not go with the doctor. We get a chemical imbalance fter doing drugs.  One chemical is secreting constantly when we use cocaine and it is hitting our pleasure point and it depletes serotonin.  Naturally,we will kinda be lopsided.  It needs fixing as some things don't theirself, check into it.  Good luck

[newmanagment]

thanx i have been waitin for a lil insight on this one!! not so much problems at home but problems in my head. when i grab a towel, i want it to face to my left with only "folds showing" , no edges. dishes on the counter eaquels germs and general nastiness. i kinda am a perfectionist, i have torn walls apart because they were not strait, redone concrete work that is acceptable to all others , but just wasnt 'right" to me. do i talk to a doctor or physicologist? or how would i go about checking into this issue. i was clean for a yr. and these little things started me getting so mad and frustrated for a week that i relapsed.

[susieq87]

Many disorders result from drug use.  I believe most go away the cleaner a person gets.  Take a look at why you feel the way you do about the towels and the dishes. Is it perfectionism or you want things clean like you are?  Our minds do play tricks also.  If this issue is causing problems in your home take a long look at it.