feeling helpless

[pam_swiger67]

when i was a child i was molested and taken avantage of by some family members at different times in my life. i grew up in a disfuntional home where my father would beat on my mother or scream at her in front of us kids. in school i really didnt pay attention to the teacher and made poor grades.as i began dating i was cheated on and lied to and learned to distrust men so i started playing there game no matter who i hurt. i ended up marrying a married man and was very hurt to find out he was taken, i took it pretty hard and ended up with gad,ocd,mild bp,ptsd and depression and cant seem to trust any man i get close to. please help.

[grannymusiclover]

I have also experienced many of the issues and occurrences to which you refer.  To make a long story short, if I had not sought therapy for what turned out to be Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder, I would not be alive today.  I can't over stress the importance, value, and the benefits which can be found within a quality therapeutic relationship.  In the beginning, think of it as an educational venture.  Soon, you will come to appreciate having someone in whom to confide--someone bound by laws of confidentiality.  You're safe, no matter what you choose to reveal.  And there will be no such things as gossip and ridicule.  Try it.  I can almost guarantee that if you persevere in this effort, you will not be disappointed.

[Morandy]

  Well, I know there are men even better then women.
  I have nice friends trustworthy, who wouldn't hurt any women. It may be true usually men are untrustfull then women, but there are exceptions.
  

[pam_swiger67]

thanks granny for your advise. i made a appt. to see a therapist and hope i picked a good one this time.

[pam_swiger67]

there may be a small percentage of men out there you can trust but i have'nt found one i could trust 100%

[JGF25]

Having a good fit with a therapist is key.  If you do not feel this new therapist is helping you then find another.  

You had trauma in your childhood and unfortunately these things stay with us into adulthood.  And really, who can blame you.  None of this is your fault.  And of course you would want to hurt the other person before they could hurt you.  However, as you realize, this is not a way to live.  A good therapist will help you with coping strategies to start to be able to trust again.  

BTW, I know of many men I trust 100% so they are out there.  You just need help working through your early trauma to see with clearer eyes.