i think i have ocd

[joselito745]

hi my name is jose and im 18 years old. it all really started wen i was 11. i couldnt touch a disc without having to put my finget through the whole. i dont know what it was. and neither did the people around me. and i knew that sometimes my finger would get stuck and they would have to break the cd to get my finger out. but i dontknow it just urged me everytime i touched a cd. i felt like i couldnt do anythingelse inlife untill i put my finger in that cd. i finally got over it though but then i couldnt do things in certain numbers.i would count everything. i ekept going back and forth doing these richuals saying things that didnt make sence thinkin things that didnt make sence.i was only 12 going through dipression because my mind was playing with me. i didnt know what it was and was scared to tell people about because i thought they would think im crazy. i even had thoughts wen i was 12 of killing my mother. i was terrrified of this. i would be scared to stay with my mom because i thought i would kill her becuz of the thoughts but knew deep down i would never do that because thats my mother.these crazy rituals and thoughtseffected me alot in life and i didnt know what it was.i thought i was te only one in the world with this proble.untill i started getting the worst thoughts in my mind. thoughts making me think i was gay. and im still suffering from these cruel thoughts.and i know deep down im not gay. wen this started about 6 months ago i would put thoughts in ma head 2 make sure im not gay. i dont wanna be gay!!!.but these cruel thoughts got stuck in my head.and they keep bugging me.i would cry because of these thoughts. i know that i liked girls and love them and am only attractive to them but these thought just kept tellin mei am gay or bi. and i hate these thoughts so bad. ive never had suicidle thoughts untill now. its just killing me. wat should i do?

[hmf099]

I also have terrifying thoughts/fears that I would kill the people I love. I am still stuggling with this but therapy and meds really help. I do NOT think these fears will ever become a reality. There is alot of help out there for this. I would suggest seeing a professional.

[mandyisme]

I am no doctor, but it sounds very similar to my OCD.  I have unwanted thoughts too and in no way do I have a desire to actually do the things it's just a tremendous fear of me being afraid I will do those things.  It's like the worst possible thing I can think of and then I am afraid that is what I will do.  I have to see a doctor and am on meds and it really helps me.

[sunitacart]

You need to go get professional help before your thoughts become reality. Psychotherapy and medication help alot. Also, try to speak to your parents-their are there for you-take that step-you got to get rid of this before it gets to you first.