Afraid of everything

[K1185]

I'm at a loss. I don't know what else to do with myself. I have extreme anxiety that gets worse as I get older. I'm 23, I was diagnosed with OCD as a kid. My "profession" requires me to be fairly social. I'm a musician. In my professional life, I'm a wild, flamboyant character. In my private life, I feel like I'm dying. I can't drive a car anymore, because I get panic attacks when anyone drives up behind me. My brother has to take care of me like I'm an invalid. I have deep traumatic fears of sexual encounters with women, which makes the groupie thing awkward. People are beginning to think I've got serious issues because I've never really been in a relationship. I avoid people, I avoid confrontation to extremes. I rarely leave my house anymore. I'm moving to a new apartment and I'm so incredibly afraid and nervous that I can't sleep anymore. I can't concentrate on anything, I'm often depressed. Writing songs is a chore now, I can't read for more than a few seconds without moving on to something else. I have a habit of rocking back and forth constantly. I'm always moving. I burn off energy so fast and never have an appetite, and I now only weigh about  98lbs. I have had severe dyscalculia since I was in about 2nd grade. I get these terrible thoughts that I just can't stop thinking about. I get deeply paranoid about everyone around me. I know it's ridiculous, but I can't help but think everyone's out to get me. I can't afford a shrink or medicine right now. I don't know what to do, but I'm living in Hell. Absolute hell. I'm embarrassed and ashamed. I don't know who to turn to.

[sks6214]

All your symptoms are of OCD ( obsessive compulsive Disorder).
The depression may be cause of loss of weight. You start taking Folic acid for building appetite and you need to consult psychiatrist immediately. Both psychotherapy and medicines like Prozac or Paxil or Zoloft  may be required.

[bosnianworrier]

Ithink your suffering from GAD. But 'd be more concered about your weight first.

[lasvegasgirl6]

you need to talk to someone ,the computer is nice but it doesn't substitute a real human being! we are human and need each other more than we think, if nothing else go to the emergency room and get some test run . Life is  hard for everyone but some of us just need alittle more help than others and some are here to give that help. Seek and you will find . I hope your feeling better by the time you read this ! I don't always check in on this site but I always check my e mails and you can write me and I promise to respond Your to young and life is to short not too be enjoying evry second of it!   email   ***@****   remember this too shall pass

[caregiver222]

I'm very concerned about your weight. Before heading off to a psychiatrist I would see an endochronologist and request a complete endochrine screen. The endochrine system produces signalling substances (polypeptides) that have tremendous psychological effects. Your weight loss and symptoms suggest to me an endochrine disorder.

[ILADVOCATE]

It sounds more to me like the rapid cycling of bipolar. There are actually many options for coverage. Google "Medicaid Buy In for Working People with Disabilities". You can find out about benefits issues at your local indepedendent living center. There's one in every county of every state:
http://www.ilru.org/html/publications/directory/index.html