Aa
Compulsive with catching STD's
Hello to all.
I am a 26 years old guy that just graduate. I have a good job and good contacts. I live in Brazil and I'm married. I love and trust my wife for everything.
Wasn't everything suppose to be very good in my life? Well it is not. Actually, I'm very, very depressed and feeling really bad. I can't work well. Actually, I'm at work right now, but I'm feeling so bad that I just can't do the things I have to.
I don't know well why that started, but has been two years that I think everything is going to infect me. I've done some posts (with another account which I've lost acces) in the STD's forums, but I know "logically" that I'm not suppose to worry about catching STD's.
My last problems have been about dentists. I've started using braces, because I really need to correct some problems with my teeth and jaw. I started my treatment with a dentist that sometimes didn't wear glooves. That made me crazy and then I could not trust him anymore. Since I could not trust him anymore, I wouldn't go to his office again, so I took the braces out myself with pliers, payed him to get all my exams back, and restarted my treatment with another dentist.
Everything seems to be well until two events. At one time he wasn't wearing a mask and then, later, he opened the door of his office with the glooves that he was using to work on me and, when he returned (with some kind of stuff he couldn't find inside the office), he didn't switch the gloves. So, again, I was not beeing able to trust him. That time, however, I took a different approach. I've decided to talk to him and explain my problem and ask him to be very, very cautious with me, because I have OCD. He said he undestands, and that he had never done anything wrong but, if I feel something is wrong, he asked me to tell him at the time the incident happens.
Now I'm feeling that he is going to do something wrong exactly because I've asked him not to do so. Like not sterelizing some of his stuff or doing something when I can't see him. I've also did some posts on dentists forums/blogs here in Brazil, saying that I was worried about he not switching his glooves (as anonymous, without saying his name, but with a very small chance that he could read and then connect that post to me, because I told my city, e-mail, and the history about the other dentist, which I told him explaining why I've switched). Now I'm now afraid that he could punish me because of my posts (not this one, because I'm writing in english and doing questions on ODC forums), or my behavior of saying he is not doing his job well.
I don't know exactly what to do, I've done therapy for three years, but I'm not doing right now. Should I just trust him, because he said he understands? Should I seek another dentist because of his flaws?
Thank you very much.
I am a 26 years old guy that just graduate. I have a good job and good contacts. I live in Brazil and I'm married. I love and trust my wife for everything.
Wasn't everything suppose to be very good in my life? Well it is not. Actually, I'm very, very depressed and feeling really bad. I can't work well. Actually, I'm at work right now, but I'm feeling so bad that I just can't do the things I have to.
I don't know well why that started, but has been two years that I think everything is going to infect me. I've done some posts (with another account which I've lost acces) in the STD's forums, but I know "logically" that I'm not suppose to worry about catching STD's.
My last problems have been about dentists. I've started using braces, because I really need to correct some problems with my teeth and jaw. I started my treatment with a dentist that sometimes didn't wear glooves. That made me crazy and then I could not trust him anymore. Since I could not trust him anymore, I wouldn't go to his office again, so I took the braces out myself with pliers, payed him to get all my exams back, and restarted my treatment with another dentist.
Everything seems to be well until two events. At one time he wasn't wearing a mask and then, later, he opened the door of his office with the glooves that he was using to work on me and, when he returned (with some kind of stuff he couldn't find inside the office), he didn't switch the gloves. So, again, I was not beeing able to trust him. That time, however, I took a different approach. I've decided to talk to him and explain my problem and ask him to be very, very cautious with me, because I have OCD. He said he undestands, and that he had never done anything wrong but, if I feel something is wrong, he asked me to tell him at the time the incident happens.
Now I'm feeling that he is going to do something wrong exactly because I've asked him not to do so. Like not sterelizing some of his stuff or doing something when I can't see him. I've also did some posts on dentists forums/blogs here in Brazil, saying that I was worried about he not switching his glooves (as anonymous, without saying his name, but with a very small chance that he could read and then connect that post to me, because I told my city, e-mail, and the history about the other dentist, which I told him explaining why I've switched). Now I'm now afraid that he could punish me because of my posts (not this one, because I'm writing in english and doing questions on ODC forums), or my behavior of saying he is not doing his job well.
I don't know exactly what to do, I've done therapy for three years, but I'm not doing right now. Should I just trust him, because he said he understands? Should I seek another dentist because of his flaws?
Thank you very much.
Best Answer
Since it is already Friday, I would try to make it a point to meet next week if possible. That way you can ask some questions about the medications you were given, especially the Equilid. I think it is given as an OCD medication and the Procimax works on both anxiety and depression. I'm not sure that you have anything fast acting.
So those are just some questions when you go back. Nothing to worry about but just to find out what each one is intended to do. It is always good to know for yourself. Then you can ask if there is something you can take like a benzodiazepine in the mean time until these medication build up in your system if you are really struggling.
You are very lucky in that you have an Aunt that obviously cares very much about you! Have a nice weekend...we are going to get hit by a hurricane :( followed by the earthquake earlier this week :( :(
So those are just some questions when you go back. Nothing to worry about but just to find out what each one is intended to do. It is always good to know for yourself. Then you can ask if there is something you can take like a benzodiazepine in the mean time until these medication build up in your system if you are really struggling.
You are very lucky in that you have an Aunt that obviously cares very much about you! Have a nice weekend...we are going to get hit by a hurricane :( followed by the earthquake earlier this week :( :(
I still don't know when I'm going to see the therapist again (I'm talking to my aunt to help with the extra payments), but we are most likely to see every week. The therapist told me, for now, to start with 10mg/day of Procimax and Equilid 50mg/day at least until we meet again.
He did not tell anything about benzodiazepine, but I think the Equilid was prescribed for a more immediate thing.
We might meet next week. Should I call him before, maybe to tell that I'm super crazy and ask about the doses?
That's soooooooooo hard. The threpist also told me not to switch dentists, and that what I feel is much more deep, like an inability to feel that I'm worthy of beeing happy. Since I deeply feel that I'm not worthy of beeing happy, my OCD keeps controling me.
Ok, ok, calm down.... I'll keep the fight on, your support is great.
regards.
He did not tell anything about benzodiazepine, but I think the Equilid was prescribed for a more immediate thing.
We might meet next week. Should I call him before, maybe to tell that I'm super crazy and ask about the doses?
That's soooooooooo hard. The threpist also told me not to switch dentists, and that what I feel is much more deep, like an inability to feel that I'm worthy of beeing happy. Since I deeply feel that I'm not worthy of beeing happy, my OCD keeps controling me.
Ok, ok, calm down.... I'll keep the fight on, your support is great.
regards.
Sorry,...Procimax in the US is Celexa.
Hang in there!!! Don't take out your braces because I promise you there is nothing to worry about from the dentist.
When do you see the therapist again?
The Procimax is good, it is an SSRI and it is very helpful for OCD. What dose did you get? Also, did the therapist say why they were putting you on the Equilid? It has a different mode of action than the Proximax and frankly I am not very familiar with it.
Lastly, did the therapist mention a short or long acting benzodiazepine to help you out while the celexa is building up in your system? If not, why don't you call the therapist back and just tell him/her what is going on and what do they think about adding a benzo to take the edge off your anxiety?
The Procimax can make you a bit more jittery/anxious in the beginning, not sure about the other one, and people want to throw in the towel way before they see the benefits. I know you feel like crap right now. Just to show you where I was, below is my original post to the forum.
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I was prescribed wellbutrin xl 300 mg (after taking xl150 for quite a while) when my anxiety suddenly flared up due to stress. The 150 was prescribed because I was waking up with my heart feeling like it was going to beat out of my chest in the middle of the night over different things. Right now I feel good at night but when the morning comes I am so edgy. I feel like jumping out of my skin and I can't stand that feeling. I spend a lot of time breathing. Why does it happen and does it matter if I take the dose at a different time...say in the morning versus at night? Would I then be "edgy" when I was sleeping and not notice it? I have klonopin to take but even on a half of klonopin...you feel like a zombie looking for a place to lay down so I kind of try to fight that and usually give in after a few hours and take a quarter of a mg. Helps a little. Then the other quarter about 3 hours later!
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The klonopin is the benzo that I take. I don't need it now during the day but I did back then.
You ARE NOT ALONE. You can do this and I promise you there is a rainbow at the end of it. Post again...I will always answer.
When do you see the therapist again?
The Procimax is good, it is an SSRI and it is very helpful for OCD. What dose did you get? Also, did the therapist say why they were putting you on the Equilid? It has a different mode of action than the Proximax and frankly I am not very familiar with it.
Lastly, did the therapist mention a short or long acting benzodiazepine to help you out while the celexa is building up in your system? If not, why don't you call the therapist back and just tell him/her what is going on and what do they think about adding a benzo to take the edge off your anxiety?
The Procimax can make you a bit more jittery/anxious in the beginning, not sure about the other one, and people want to throw in the towel way before they see the benefits. I know you feel like crap right now. Just to show you where I was, below is my original post to the forum.
-------------------------------
I was prescribed wellbutrin xl 300 mg (after taking xl150 for quite a while) when my anxiety suddenly flared up due to stress. The 150 was prescribed because I was waking up with my heart feeling like it was going to beat out of my chest in the middle of the night over different things. Right now I feel good at night but when the morning comes I am so edgy. I feel like jumping out of my skin and I can't stand that feeling. I spend a lot of time breathing. Why does it happen and does it matter if I take the dose at a different time...say in the morning versus at night? Would I then be "edgy" when I was sleeping and not notice it? I have klonopin to take but even on a half of klonopin...you feel like a zombie looking for a place to lay down so I kind of try to fight that and usually give in after a few hours and take a quarter of a mg. Helps a little. Then the other quarter about 3 hours later!
---------------------------------
The klonopin is the benzo that I take. I don't need it now during the day but I did back then.
You ARE NOT ALONE. You can do this and I promise you there is a rainbow at the end of it. Post again...I will always answer.
I've started taking Equilid (sulpirida) and Procimax (citalopram) and did one session of therapy as well. That's the good part...
But today I'm really crazy. I just can't work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm about to never go again to the dentist, wait some time, re-do my tests and try to move on with my life. He did mistakes!!!! How can I trust him??? I just can't trust him. OMG, I'm about to take out my braces again with the pliers, but I know that is going to mess my teeth out (from my own experience).
I can't figure out alternatives, please help!!
But today I'm really crazy. I just can't work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm about to never go again to the dentist, wait some time, re-do my tests and try to move on with my life. He did mistakes!!!! How can I trust him??? I just can't trust him. OMG, I'm about to take out my braces again with the pliers, but I know that is going to mess my teeth out (from my own experience).
I can't figure out alternatives, please help!!
That is great. If you post how things are going it can motivate others to also get professional help! I'm so happy for you!!!!!
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First of all, you won't get an STD from the doctor not wearing gloves after he touches a doorknob. Now if the flu were going around, then maybe. But you did the right thing and asked the doctor to wear the gloves. I promise you that he will in no way do something that would intentionally harm you. This is just another irrational thought. So you don't need to switch doctors. Actually, everytime you do switch doctors, you are giving into the thought and that just makes it worse. It is kind of like adding gasoline to a fire. So just keep on communicating with your doctors about what you need for them to do.
When you were in therapy, what did it do for you? Was it just talk therapy? Did they teach you techniques to combat these irrational thoughts? Were you ever on medication? Why did you stop going to therapy?
It is very, very hard to get a handle on OCD without outside help. There are self-coaching skills you can learn, and you have to try not to avoid the situations that bother you but professional help is really the only way.
Here is a little story about me. I developed a phobia about HIV. I worried about it all the time. What I ended up doing was going and sitting in an AIDS clinic. I sat in the same chairs that the patients sat in. I picked up the same magazines that they picked up, I stayed there for an hour every other day. After this exposure therapy, I was over it. Case solved. Of course it was replaced with some other stupid irrational thought but I just dealt with that one too. For me though, I have to be on medication or I would not be able to function.